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I am the assistant to a very important big doctor.  Some would say he's a prima donna.  I have always bent over backwards to please him and earn his trust.  I worked so hard to do whatever he asked, even when his requests were a little bit ridiculous.

Anyway, a few things have happened recently to show me that he still doesn't trust me.  Long story short, it seems that he put someone up to testing me by asking me about some confidential information to see what I would say...ie., would I reveal things that he has asked me to keep a secret. 

I am so mad.  I don't get paid very much and I work very hard...and he still feels the need to test my loyalty after all of this time.  He acts so warm and friendly and caring, but then when it comes down to it, I realize that he doesn't care at all.

I guess I'm naive and have a thin skin, but things like this upset me SO much.  I just always am surprised when I find out how sneaky and duplicitous people can be.  Why don't people just trust each other?  Why do people lie and cheat and do things behind each other's backs?  It hurts my feelings so much.  I don't think I'm the only one he has been distrustful of or unfair to, but I can't help but take it personally.  I TAKE EVERYTHING PERSONALLY!!!!

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I think people see their own behaviors in others and behave accordingly.  Cheaters insist their significant other is cheating, manipulative people suspect everybody is trying to manipulate them...

It sounds like this prima donna doctor probably isn't very trustworthy and expects to get stabbed in the back at any moment.  It probably has nothing to do with you at all.  You can only continue to be who you are.  Maybe you should keep your eyes open for a new job. 

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Just wanted to say that if that happened to me, I would be just as upset as you are.  I hate that kind of shit.  SERIOUS trigger.  I have people at work that are bitchy to me sometimes because they are power-trippin' and I know logically that it has nothing to do with me but I can't help but get a little verklempt.

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I'm like that, too.  If someone says something or acts a certain way, it'll upset me and ruin the rest of my day.  I agree with Punksailor's assessment, though.  (Did I put too many s's in "assessment"?)

Maybe you should move to the frozen north and work for ncc.

~CS

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Physicians can be very difficult to work for.  So can anyone, but I think the medical system does things to physicians that can make them especially difficult for people like us (thin skinned, need affirmation, etc.) to work for.

I agree...why don't you look for something else?  If you're not making much money anyway, it shouldn't be too hard to match your salary!  Then maybe you can relax a little and spend some time thinking about whether you'd like to go back to school or whatever and make a big career change?

Hang in there...remember, it's not you.

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It's definitely not you.  I agree that often people will project their crappy behaviors on other people... he himself is not trustworthy, so he doesn't trust anyone else.

I agree that it's maybe time to look for a new position.  He definitely doesn't deserve such a kind and devoted assistant when he's such a fuckass.

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He went behind your back to find out about you. Why should he need to do that? He could have just asked you anything he was curious about.. Sounds like he is abusing his position - in no other profession can one access mental health history (I'm assuming this is what this is about..). Sounds fucked up, I guess just try and hang in there (within reason) and maybe apply for something different. Er... this from someone who has quit every job due to employer "spying" in some way... and fucked up his life to date. Life is fucked up. How to deal with it? I'm drunk. This post is probably half baked, but for me tuppence..

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Hi, Devon

He's been burned before or he's done the burning.  Either way, it's bad for you.

he still feels the need to test my loyalty after all of this time.  He acts so warm and friendly and caring, but then when it comes down to it, I realize that he doesn't care at all.
(emphasis mine)

For whatever twisted reason he feels he needs to test your loyalty, I think it would be a mistake to interpret it as lack of caring about you. This isn't about you. He probably considers you a fine employee. The problem is in his own head.

Greeny

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