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exactly that. meh.

i feel attacked at work. i feel attacked by my family. i feel attacked here on the boards. my girlfriend continuously berates me for not being accessible, affectionate enough. duh.

i'm coming off night shift and my body is just not working. i'm in glue, constantly. my arthritis is messing with my joints. i can't get off the couch. i just lie there, don't want to sleep, don't want to eat. i go onto evening shift next week. it seems like i don't go to work to help people, and i know, i KNOW that i'm a good doctor, but it all gets swamped by the flagrant abuse of my goodwill, the barely disguised hatred by nurses who get a protected lunch break whereas i don't even get paid for staying late, the system that doesn't seem to want people to get better. i seem to tolerate a simply enormous amount of unnecessary

i just feel like i'm made out of lesser fabric. i don't ask for anything more than simply to be treated with respect. the problem is that i expect it too. that was my first mistake.

anyway. so i won't be around for a while. fuck it.

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Heya Dr. Stinky,

I hear ya friend.

Residency is a nightmare in general.

Worse for those of us bright enough to recognise when we're being screwed around with.  When we're being taken advantage of.  When we're representing a crappy hypocritical system.

And worse for those of us with diagnoses.

You won't believe me now.  I wouldn't have believed me a few years ago (2004?  So long now?  Holy crap.).

But.

You.will.survive.

And be a doc.  A good one.  *Better* b/c you've been a patient.

And be a better *supervisor* for it.  You'll know how *not* to treat your residents.

Stay away from the internet if you need to, hell, do whatever the fuck you need to to get through residency.

With your humanity intact if you can manage it.

--ncc--

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