I started process of switching from Cymbalta to Remeron on March 25, and took my last dose of Cymbalta a few days ago. Other than a few days of extreme irritability, things have been going surprisingly smoothly. Except that I can't sleep. Not really. I'm rapid-cycling between moments of being awake and instantly dreaming as soon as I close my eyes. The waking moments seem precipitated by startling effects in the dream state, that usually have nothing to do with the content of the dream itself. The worst of these is the sudden sensation of being physically attacked by an evil presence. It seems to take me a little bit longer to wake up during these instances. Or at least that's how I perceive it.
How much of this is potentially the residual Cymbalta withdrawal effects, and how much of this is the "strange or unusual dreams" listed as a possible side effect of the Remeron?
And more importantly, how long can I expect this to last? If you experienced disturbed dreams while on Remeron, how long did it last for you, and did it turn out to be a deal breaker?
It's been a long while since my last visit here, and even longer since last writing anything.
I don't know where to write this, or even what to write, but there really is no one else to talk to.
So... long story short, I attempted suicide about 6 months ago (not my first try), and obviously, failed at that, again. I have been in a relationship more or less 5 years now, and I guess I can summarize that into "it's complicated". Things have been going from bad to worse since the suicide attempt. To a point that few weeks ago, my (I don't know what to call him, "partner"?) was violent towards me (not really the first time this kind of thing has happened, but certainly the worst).
He so angry all the time (at me, I guess.. and certainly some of it is completely justified), it feels like he is expecting me to be "grateful" for him saving my life, and when I can't, it makes things even worse.
It doesn't really make things any easier, that we both have some pretty serious issues. Me with depression, and trauma-related dissociative "disorder" (?), or at least a tendency to dissociate in difficult situations. And he with alcohol abuse, and some traumas of his own.
Anyway, right now we are still living in the same house (he is occupying most of the space, and I am kind of living in my workroom) but we don't really have a "together-life". I don't have a lot of friends in general, and the few I have are living relatively far from where I live. My mother lives not-too-far-away, but we aren't very close, and I can't imagine talking to her about this.
Please help. Obstructive sleep apnea condition and chronic migraines with insomnia. Also, I am very nocturnal.By SheltieUnderdog
I'll get to the coinciding physical symptoms eventually. I have always had trouble sleeping through most of the night like the majority of people do with ease and very naturally sleep through the majority of the day when most people are awake. I honestly have always preferred not to see the morning (I find it utterly depressing) except I am obligated to get places like doctor's appointments, stores, and restaurants before they close for the day and I would like the be awake and ready to leave my home by the early afternoon on a consistent basis. Since I was 12 years old, my addiction to being nocturnal and having an abnormal or irregular circadian rhythm has gotten progressively worse. So much to the point where I will fall asleep as the sun is rising and wake up when it's setting or it will be dark again by the time I wake up! I am being deprived of too many things, missing doctor's appointments, or not being able to get my car to the auto mechanic before he / she closes for an oil change. I eventually want to get a part-time job (currently living on SSI) and i imagine that my job would take place in the late afternoon or the evening shift but how could I even hold down a job that was a full-blown a graveyard shift under these circumstances!? My insomnia which can be attributed to the fact that I was formerly diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychotic features and am now diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, ocd, and add (possibly adhd). Sometimes if I stay awake later than I really want to (preferably between 1 and 3am to be able to wake up by the early afternoon) then I will just remain awake into the next day in order to guarantee that I will make the appointment or obligation and get to it in a state of sheer exhaustion barely able to follow the doctor or specialist as they're explaining things to me. Sometimes I have gone two or even three nights in a row without getting any shuteye because the appearance of it being nighttime awakens me. The only time that my insomnia (but not the sleep apnea or chronic migraines) was under better control was when I was on court ordered injections which were anti-psychotics and along with outright despising the process of getting those injections, I had a plethora of other side effects like akathisia (inability to sit still), lethargy, fatigue, sedation, and severe weight gain at the same time. I've been on Latuda 20mg for a couple of years now with little to no side effects and I plan to stay on it and never be subjected to having to take anti-psychotic injections ever again after my experiences with them when I had to involuntarily take them by court order.
Now I also have some other issues going on in addition to the insomnia and nocturnal sleep cycle. I have ehlers-danlos syndrome type 3. I was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea after a sleep study ordered by my pulmonologist in the beginning of 2018 shortly after I got off of the anti-psychotic injections and I was 308 pounds (my heaviest ever weight, my height is 5'8). As of December 2019, my weight is 281 and I've been at a weight set-point since the end of 2018 where my weight is no longer fluctuating anymore (cannot easily lose or gain weight). I hated the mask / cpap machine or was cpap intolerant and sent it back to the surgical supply company within a couple of weeks. My ENT is not recommending the oral surgery or UPPP procedure because of how severe the sleep apnea is and I don't want a tracheotomy. He said that I'm too obese to use Inspire. I can't find an oral surgeon who does maxillomandibular advancement surgery. The obstructive sleep apnea and tmj syndrome which I've suffered from for over a decade combined are giving me chronic migraines and still sometimes when I take my prescription strength pain relievers from my rheumatologist. I wake up feeling like I was hit by an 18-wheeler stumbling to the bathroom sink with my eyelids glued together (look up the medical term blepharitis, I get that in my sleep too). Sometimes the migraines are so bad that I will force myself to eat and drink a small amount and take something like Excedrin PM or other types of nighttime pain relievers and fall back asleep and wake up again slightly less messed up because I had more rest even later in the day. Another major problem is that even if I somehow get a better nights sleep one night, the next night I will be so energized once it gets dark that I will do another all-nighter until the sun is coming up and the cycle or revolving door starts all over again.
I used to be prescribed sedatives like Trazadone and Clonazepam but my new psychiatrist (been seeing her for a little over a year) insisted that I come off of them until the sleep apnea was successfully treated because me taking them before going to sleep with that medical condition was too dangerous. I recently found a dental sleep specialist hours away from where I live which designs oral appliances specifically for treating sleep apnea and tmj syndrome and I've been trying to set up an evaluation but they are forcing me to do another sleep study at home because the last one I did at the sleep lab was in March 2018. I recently went to my local CVS and picked up generic Benadryl or diphenhydramine 50mg and I found something recently at 7-Eleven called doxylamine succinate which is labeled as a strong sleep aid. I am sleeping with a wedge pillow and I eventually want to invest in a bed with an adjustable mattress to keep myself on an incline.
If anyone else has any input that you think could be helpful on how I could fend off the insomnia and be less nocturnal on a consistent basis, it would be appreciated.
I am so very lost, angry, hurt, depressed, explosive, and drowning. I was put on latuda or my bipolar and depression acting up... I hate new meds for this reason. I started having my ptsd dreams again, ate everything in site and craved sugar omg terribly, have been depressed, cant color which i love to do, just wanna sleep, explosive anger, crying jags, hate life, nothing makes me happy, everything just sucks. Im so angry cause i feel like i did before i went on any meds, 20yr ago.
Im so confused i just feel like im grasping at air.. I was in the er the other night and they basically sent me home after giving my dose of larzapam i didn't take in the afternoon cause i doesn't help. My theory of it is it didn't help before the latuda what is gonna make it work coming off latuda or after off.. I remember why i drank now.. I didn't need to feel this then.. I want to drink so bad and wont cause I've been clean 6 yrs April will be 7 and i worked to hard to get here and refuse to prove others right. Im so so messed up i cant sleep cant watch TV cant color yet dont want to do any of the above either but if i dont sleep i hurt... has anyone felt this way.. It sux cause the battle to find meds to work will start tomorrow cause my liver doesn't process meds it flushes them out.. oh well sorry just needed to vent and hope someone can help