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I saw my doctor last week and made a big stink about carefully going through all the weirdness I'd been having (for years).  After a thorough discussion, my diagnosis was changed from Bipolar NOS to paranoid schizophrenia. While I was absolutely not hoping for that diagnosis (although it came as no surprise to a girl I lived with and loved for 10 years), what I've said all along was that I'm not bipolar. (well, for the past few years I've felt that way). So in that sense I feel validated. In another sense, is it weird to feel like a dx like schizophrenia seems like a "big deal?" I liken it to heroin vs prescription opioids. Even though oxymorphone is stronger, mg for mg, than heroin, heroin feels like a "bigger deal" because it's just "different" (especially now).  I am back on Zyprexa, weight gain be damned, and feeling better already. I was on vraylar. Great for depression, not-so-great for the weirdness, at least in my case.  So now that that it's officially a new dx, what kinds of coping strategies are there, if any?

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I'm somewhat offended that you'd compare a diagnosis with illegal drugs..

Honestly it makes little sense..

I understand getting a new diagnosis can take you for a ride..

I have had my diagnosis changed several times on this journey..

I'm in denial of having what I have now..

I have trouble coming to terms with it..

Even though apparently according to the people around me I am not well right now..

I'm glad for you that your meds are working for you..

As far as coping..I just try my best to not fall too deep..I try to distract..

That is my life..

I have no therapist..

But I am told it would be helpful..

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4 hours ago, coraline said:

I'm somewhat offended that you'd compare a diagnosis with illegal drugs..

 

I meant no offense. What I mean was that the perception of the diagnosis, in my mind, is similar to the perception of heroin, while being an opioid, is somehow categorically different than other opioids (it's not. and by the way, heroin is not illegal everywhere. In Canada it is used routinely for end-of-life care for things like cancer, sold under the brand name Diamorphine). Before I was diagnosed as having schizophrenia, I was diagnosed bipolar NOS and I never thought much about it. My perception of my new diagnosis is that it's somehow more severe or more of a big deal. I feel like even more of an outsider now. I'm afraid my family will look at me differently. I told my mom and she said it made her "very, very sad." Do you keep your diagnosis a secret or tell people close to you so they understand any odd behavior?

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Did you behave the same way you do now?..as you did then..

Cause frankly just because you're diagnosis changed doesn't mean you're suddenly going to get an onslaught of new symptoms..

So explaining odd behavior shouldn't be an issue..

 

 

My mom took me to my first psychiatrist..

Way back..start of wrong diagnosis wrong meds journey..went from pdoc to pdoc for years..

I never had different or new symptoms..I was just scared of the truth..and full of a lot of shame..

So yes she knows...

All these wrong diagnosis landed me not only in hospitals but in jail 3x..it got ridiculous..out of control..

She did feel sorry for me and even guilty..

I'm currently very upset at her..

We are not getting along..I live with her 

And she's just insulting me..

Trying to pawn me off and sick of my ramblings..and admittance to voices and demons in my room..

 

Schizophrenia runs in our family and she felt she should have seen it sooner before the trouble started..

 

You're mom might just feel sad for you in the respect that there's nothing she can do other than be there for you..

I wouldn't read too much into it..

 

I have no friends to keep this a secret from..

Very little family..

So it's really up to you're comfort level what you do..

 

Edited by coraline
Can't think straight..
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How long were you on vraylar?  How did it work for you?  I've been on it for 2 weeks and 1 day now.  It has really calmed my mind down.  I don't get angry, even when I have bad thoughts.  I wish it was a little less energizing, but hopefully that will dissapate over time.  My main problem is with sleep.  Without a low dose of zyprexa I can't fall asleep.  

Don't focus on the diagnosis.  Although it is important, treating the symptoms is more important imho. 

 

3 hours ago, La La LOLocaust said:

Incidentally, I also have no friends. I have a wife, but zero friends. I don't crave or desire friendship. I isolate myself pretty severely. Barely ever talk to my sisters or my family, except my mom and I are very close.

Don't have a wife, probably never will.  But I'm in the same boat.  No friends, don't want any at this time.  I only talk with my mom as well. 

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