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Dewey

Neighbor Bullying

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  • Dewey
 

I am being targeted and bullied by my neighbors where I live. I currently live in an independent living home.  I am the youngest one here (67 years old).  Other neighbors who live in my building admitted that I have been singled out and targeted by the bullies that live here.  It seems that no matter where I live, I get singled out and bullied.  Must be something I am doing. 

In my new independent living home,  there are groups of women that stick together and have scheming get-togethers. I was invited to one and never went back.  Unfortunately before I discovered one such neighbor was a party to all this, I had confided in her.  She roped me in very easily.  I am alone and isolated and there is no support in my life.  So, I am easy target.  I also am a nice person who does not have the ability to actively hurt someone. 

I try to get away from these groups (I call them the axis of evils), I put their calls on block so they can no longer text me,  I unfriended them on Facebook (I no longer go there anymore).  If they don't talk to me once a week, they will send out an alert to go and find me or they will call the cops and to do a welfare check on me. They bang on my door at all hours and yell my name thru the door to get me to come to the door, then they bust in almost knocking me over and sit down for a "chat".  While they are chatting they start taking pictures of my cat and my apartment. I should have asked why they were taking pictures inside my apartment, but I dissociated and could not defend myself. I no longer allow them in my home.  I won't talk to them over the phone nor text them, nor return their phone calls.  The next time they call in a welfare check on me, I will cite them for harassment with the police when they show up.  This group of women have admitted to me they are mean and will take action against others who live here if they don't like them, which I have witnessed. So, for now, I walk on egg-shells around them.

I stay away from everyone now, keep my blinds closed and don't answer the phone unless I know who it is calling me.  My psych doc upped my maintenance medication and added new medication.  He's been calling me frequently to see how I am.  I do live with sui*ide ideation, so he's worried about me.  Unfortunately I am living in Section 8 Housing, so moving is very difficult to do.  So, just trying to keep myself safe from the "Axis of Evil".

Needed to vent to get it out there what I am living with.  Thank you for reading. 

Edited by Dewey
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1 hour ago, ~nestling~ said:

So sorry to hear this, I don't know what to suggest. Is there anyone you can speak to?

Thank you Nestling for your response.  I have tried to speak to property management about this bullying but they only say "this is an independent living facility" and we do not get that involved. 

I did share all this with a "trusted" neighbor but then she want and told someone else here about my experiences and I have no idea if that new person can be trusted with that information.  So, feeling betrayed now.  Talked to my "trusted"neighbor today and edited what I said to her going forward, not sharing anything like that with her again.  If what I shared gets back to that one neighbor who is in the Axis of Fear Scheming party, then my goose is cooked for good.  I am trying to only respond to what I can control, not what others will do with that information going forward.  I will just have to hope I don't suffer consequences.  

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It's anti social behaviour though, so in theory at least in the UK, they'd get involved. I hope things do change.

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In what way are they bullying you? Knocking on your door for a chat and taking pictures of your cat? Or is there something more? Do they threaten you?

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19 hours ago, jt07 said:

In what way are they bullying you? Knocking on your door for a chat and taking pictures of your cat? Or is there something more? Do they threaten you?

Hi jt ~  It goes much further than people just coming into my home for a "chat". I am afraid to go into specific details, too triggering today.  But thank you for caring enough to ask. 

 

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Well, I was thinking that if threats were involved, you could always go to the police.

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4 hours ago, jt07 said:

Well, I was thinking that if threats were involved, you could always go to the police.

I've been thru this with my former spouse when I was in the shelter running for my life.  The threat has to be specific, witnesses or it is put in writing before they do anything.  They won't even write up an incident report.  There's no justice in the justice division here. 

Okay, here is one example ..... today.  There was a loud knock on my front door, calling out my name saying they know I am in there and to come immediately to the door.  I cracked the door open and one person leaned into the door knocking me out of the way and my kitten ran out the door.  I went after my kitten and by the time I got back to my home, they (all 5) were standing in my apartment looking around and taking pictures.  I told them to stop taking pictures and it was time for them to leave immediately. One said she was showing her friend what an apt looked like on the ground floor, to chill out, since I have such high ceilings and the prospective tenant wanted to get the dimensions via pictures. They would not leave.  There I was standing in my pajamas, bed not made and this strange woman and my neighbors are walking into my closets, the bathroom, opening cabinets in my kitchen, pulling out drawers, etc.  Totally disregarding my demands they leave.  I have no idea if this was a targeted misadventure against me or if this was simply my neighbor not minding healthy boundaries.  So, that was my traumatic experience today and my head was not in the right space to deal with this as I am not stable enough yet to deal with people.  This is the 3rd time she has brought strangers into my home for the same reason. 

I've decided to avoid all people going forward until I feel stable enough to cope with this type of harassment and bullying that goes on here.  I go thru this on a daily basis. 

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2 hours ago, Dewey said:

I've been thru this with my former spouse when I was in the shelter running for my life.  The threat has to be specific, witnesses or it is put in writing before they do anything.  They won't even write up an incident report.  There's no justice in the justice division here. 

Okay, here is one example ..... today.  There was a loud knock on my front door, calling out my name saying they know I am in there and to come immediately to the door.  I cracked the door open and one person leaned into the door knocking me out of the way and my kitten ran out the door.  I went after my kitten and by the time I got back to my home, they (all 5) were standing in my apartment looking around and taking pictures.  I told them to stop taking pictures and it was time for them to leave immediately. One said she was showing her friend what an apt looked like on the ground floor, to chill out, since I have such high ceilings and the prospective tenant wanted to get the dimensions via pictures. They would not leave.  There I was standing in my pajamas, bed not made and this strange woman and my neighbors are walking into my closets, the bathroom, opening cabinets in my kitchen, pulling out drawers, etc.  Totally disregarding my demands they leave.  I have no idea if this was a targeted misadventure against me or if this was simply my neighbor not minding healthy boundaries.  So, that was my traumatic experience today and my head was not in the right space to deal with this as I am not stable enough yet to deal with people.  This is the 3rd time she has brought strangers into my home for the same reason. 

I've decided to avoid all people going forward until I feel stable enough to cope with this type of harassment and bullying that goes on here.  I go thru this on a daily basis. 

Could this have been the apartment manager or owner? I've had this happen where the apartment manager used my apartment to show prospective tenants. Nobody took pictures though.

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1 hour ago, jt07 said:

Could this have been the apartment manager or owner? I've had this happen where the apartment manager used my apartment to show prospective tenants. Nobody took pictures though.

No, this was my neighbor who lives upstairs from me.  I feel I want to talk to my property manager and ask if she gave my neighbor permission to show my apartment, but then I could be borrowing trouble doing that, so next time she shows up at my door, I won't let them in under no circumstances.

Sure, if my property manager were to call and give me advance notice, but here I was in my pajamas, mattress hair, my bed unmade and dishes in the sink, day two of my migraine.

Then one of the people I play Rummykub with stopped by and asked for my brand new set to take back to his apartment to play with his friends and he would return to me next Monday.  It's only $15.00, give me a break, I said no.  Then his girlfriend shopped by and asked and again, I said no. 

Then one of the axis of evil ladies texted me to come over immediately for a chat.  I said, sure as long as we chatted out in the open in the middle of the quad. I knew her answer and she said no, she needed to talk to me in confidence.  This woman called the owner of a cat I was interested in adopting and said I would not be a suitable candidate for her cat she was giving away on Craigslist.  I found this out from the owner.  Then this same woman wanted the name of an animal warden I was working with my current kitten that unfortunately was part of a kitten mill (has now tons of health issues - incurable).  I would not tell her anything because now I don't trust her.  But this I felt was a veiled threat to me. She has already told me she is a mean person, she's Borderline and BiPolar off her meds... great?

Then this same woman asked me if I was mad at her and her neighbor because I was not closing the blinds and turning off the light in the laundry room that shines into their apartments at night anymore.  I used to check every night around 11:30 and would secure the blinds shut and turn off the light.  I know this woman and her friend is evil and I know she betrayed me. Every time I went to this room and checked on it for her, I said a prayer of forgiveness.  Now I don't care anymore after she asked me for the wardens name and would not tell me why.

Then my neighbor, who came from a third world country asked me if she could buy my kitten because cats are a delicacy where she lived and she would pay handsomely for my new little kitten.  I was shocked and beyond words. 

So I have decided to find a new home to move to, but in the meantime, I will live behind closed blinds, will not answer the front door and will keep my phone turned off until I can get away from these people.  This is not the complete list, it's been going on since I moved here last November.  There is shunning, veiled threats, etc going on all the time.  I thought by the time these ladies reached their 80's they would find some kindness somewhere, but the mean streak in these women is frightening and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. I have witnessed them hurt other tenants here. 

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Well, Dewey, in that case you are well within your rights to tell them to get the hell out or you're calling the police.

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10 minutes ago, jt07 said:

Well, Dewey, in that case you are well within your rights to tell them to get the hell out or you're calling the police.

I totally agree with you jt !!  Thank you for validating my experience with this one set of neighbors.  I have many other sets of neighbors that travel around together that I call "the axis of evil" because literally they are evil in what they do to other tenants here. 

I told a close neighbor who takes me with my kitten to the vets about the experience yesterday and she went wild with anger over this intrusion and wanted to go knock on their doors and lay them out flat about what they did.  I'm glad I slept on my actions last night and feel a bit better about it today.  I blocked their phone numbers so they can't call nor text.  I remember one other time she came down with friends to see my new kitten and I was having a migraine.  I said thru the door I was to sick to see anyone but they continued to knock and yell out my name.  People on the second floor heard them.  I finally opened my door out of embarrassment because people were calling me on the phone asking me to stop them from fisting my front door.  These types of things go on daily around here and it appears, as several neighbors have said to me, I am being harassed, bullied and I am a target, she's heard the rumors, to go after me.  I don't know the reason why and my snitch doesn't know the reasons either.

I was away all day today, it was refreshing to be away from here  and right now my phone is turned off and I don't answer the door after the main office closes.   I even put black paper over the peephole as there are reverse gadgets that can actually look thru a peephole in reverse and see what's going on inside an apartment.  I also put a metal slider under my front door so no one can slide anything under it, since there is a 2" gap there.  I have a timer on my living room lamps that turn on and off constantly throughout the night.  I am reverting back to my techniques I learned in the dv shelter.

Thank you for responding jt, appreciate that !! 

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I have a friend who is trying to help me move to her apartment complex. It's for seniors and it's a luxury apartment with many amenities.  I should know something by end of week.  Fingers crossed something goes in my favor.  I can't hole up all alone in my apartment forever too afraid to venture out.  But I have to say, what a relief to get out of my home for those 5 hours today.

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Well, all bets are off for me to move into my friends apartment complex, so I'm stuck here. 

I have found that staying in my apartment out of sight of the bullies has helped reduce PTSD flares dramatically.  I do have one neighbor who has been trying to protect me and I only travel around with her, everyone leaves me alone when they see me with her. 

Stopped answering the door when someone knocks without calling first, stopped answering the phone, have blocked numerous people and no longer attend social gatherings nor community meetings.  I was not recognized when I raised my hand to speak at the last community meeting and when I did stand up, I was told to shut up and sit down, so that was the last meeting I will ever attend.  No one ever apologized to me for saying that.

I take my trash out at end of day, same with mail, so no one sees me at all anymore here.  Hoping to become "yesterdays news". 

I really have found a sense of safety now by what I have to do to stay away from the bullies. 

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