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Is one time substance misuse less harmful than one time self harm


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I received some devestating medical news today that I’d rather not rehash now. (Not life threatenting, just interferes greatly with long term quality of life and is irreversible.). I was overcome with overwhelming panic, anxiety, and despair when I got home to a safe enough place to experience my emotions.  Despite not having much of a self harm history, sometimes I experience strong impulses to self harm either through “traditional” means or thought OD’ing on medications in a faux suicide attempt (but not large enough quantity to actually do damage). Only after on it a few times.  I had the impulse today to do the same. Instead, I slightly overused my klonopin thinking substance misuse was the lesser of the evils in this situation. I am rx’ed 1mg up to 2x daily and rarely take that much. Today one, then two weren’t cutting it so I took a third. I know it’s not ideal, but it seemed like the only think I could do in the moment to not act or do other destructive stuff. Does this really seem like the least harmful approach of the two? Not trying to justify, but after I took that, I was able to be calm enough to use other coping skills... reaching out for IRL and online support and talking about it, researching alternate options to deal with the medical issue, then doing some work to take my mind off of it. I will mention to my Tdoc at my session next week but wondering if others think there is a continuum of; or hierarchy of, self harm / self destructive behaviors. 

Edited by Sam_I_Am
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