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Im going to force myself to turn a corner


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First off thank you to everyone on CB. You guys have been supportive, informative and just helpful. Im not sure if this is the right place to post this or not. Mods feel free to move

I have had so much happen in my life over the past 5-6 years. Its crushed me, made me crazy, depressed me, etc.

I still dont agree with my bipolar dx. None of my Tdocs have, heck my current pdoc told me he saw depression, but it "could" be bipolar and hell keep it because my IOP doc had it. 

WHATEVER. My meds are working. I am on too many of them, but we'll deal with that later. What Im about to say is by no means a shot at anyone, or am i suggesting this works for you. THIS IS STRICTLY SOME THINGS FOR ME.

  1. I finally have realized that meds can only do so much. I think I need them, I want them. But some of it is up to me. It has taken along time for me to get to that line of thinking. I still want to be on way less medication, but ill deal with that in January.Thankful for my current Pdoc though.
  2. I finally have a therapist that i connect with, that listens, and ive got to work through some issues ive been trying to get through for years, and we did it a few sessions. Fantastic
  3. I need to harness my anxiety-im not sure how but i will, not with more benzos
  4. alot of my depression is ruminating  thougts, we all have them. But it just brings me so down
  5. I need to just move on from my past, let things go, and move forward

So im forcing myself to change my thoughts, do things out of my element, not care what others think so much, and just get crap back on track. So far so good. Even today. I woke up and just felt Blah, i didnt wanna move, just sit on my butt and watch TV. forced myself to get up, get dress, get to the gym, go run some errands and get moving, glad I did.

Anyways this is a long ramble, its kinda irrelevant. But its whats happening with my , what im gonna try, what im gonna do. Good luck to all in their journey's towards battling their illnesses

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LFA, you’ve been through so much, so glad to hear you continue fighting! 

This past week I was describing to my tdoc some of the things I’m adopting (new recipe book devoted to recipes for one, aromatherapy, stretching, etc). At one point he stopped me, smiled, and said “do you realize how much your mind is incubating?” Sounds like that’s what you’re doing, incubating a new future. That’s fantastic! Keep reporting on how it’s going. 

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2 minutes ago, Rabbit37 said:

LFA, you’ve been through so much, so glad to hear you continue fighting! 

This past week I was describing to my tdoc some of the things I’m adopting (new recipe book devoted to recipes for one, aromatherapy, stretching, etc). At one point he stopped me, smiled, and said “do you realize how much your mind is incubating?” Sounds like that’s what you’re doing, incubating a new future. That’s fantastic! Keep reporting on how it’s going. 

 

2 minutes ago, Rabbit37 said:

LFA, you’ve been through so much, so glad to hear you continue fighting! 

This past week I was describing to my tdoc some of the things I’m adopting (new recipe book devoted to recipes for one, aromatherapy, stretching, etc). At one point he stopped me, smiled, and said “do you realize how much your mind is incubating?” Sounds like that’s what you’re doing, incubating a new future. That’s fantastic! Keep reporting on how it’s going. 

i will thank you! im excited. IM glad your moving forward as well. Good luck to you.

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These types of days will happen, it’s like they’re carved in stone for us, unfortunately. 

Chalk it up to being a Monday, because I know my day certainly started out sucky. Take a deep breath, read your first post, and keep going. I have faith in you! 

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4 minutes ago, Blahblah said:

I remember when you started posting here, I could very much relate to the desperation to feel better and the frustrations that all of us are going through - the ups & downs, it has been palpable. I'll be following your threads and cheering for you as well.

thank you @Blahblah. We've all been through alot. Im pulling for you as well! We can all do this

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3 minutes ago, DammitJanet said:

This is great! I’m rooting for ya and I’m trying to stay the path right there next to ya. 

you can do it! and thank you! Youve said lately you think you may have a new light on things as well, i hope your're still feeling that way.

today was a battle but it got done

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1 minute ago, looking for answers said:

you can do it! and thank you! Youve said lately you think you may have a new light on things as well, i hope your're still feeling that way.

today was a battle but it got done

Yes, glad today is over. Now I just need to survive tomorrow’s elections then possibly back in the clear. Thanks ? 

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Just now, DammitJanet said:

Yes, glad today is over. Now I just need to survive tomorrow’s elections then possibly back in the clear. Thanks ? 

 

Just now, DammitJanet said:

Yes, glad today is over. Now I just need to survive tomorrow’s elections then possibly back in the clear. Thanks ? 

haha you can do it, your're gonna be just fine

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