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Inability to Converse in Depressive State


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Hey all, been lurking here a while and have found a lot of insightful information from testimonials. These allow me to compare my experiences and know what I might face in the future. So my question for all you BP1's out there, is to recollect the recovery from your first psychotic episode? How long before you started working/going to school again? How long until you started feeling happy to enjoy things? And the question I am most interested in, how long until you could start talking to people again like your old self? I am about 4 months removed from my depressive episode and have been doing school and work for about 2 and a half months, and it isn't that bad. I still dont enjoy anything, which I can deal with, but what really gets me is that I am a shell of my old personality. I cant think of anything to say!

In the past week or 2 I have started to notice some differences since pairing my Lithium and Wellbutrin with Abilify, hoping this trend can continue. 

I have done some reading from a Harvard study that measured syndromic, symptomatic,  and functional recovery for first psychotic episodes. Most achieved syndormic and symptomatic recovery by 6 months, whatever that means, but only 30% had functional recovery. This makes me think maybe I am not too far behind the curve, but what do you guys think?

Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3063423/

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I was out for a couple months after my episode. I went back to work but it wasn't easy. My goal was to make it through each day. Then I had to take another two weeks off. I hated my job. I think I have recovered though after a year. I'm a bit depressed and frustrated with medication but I make it through each day.

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It's probably bad for my anxiety, and I'm BPII, so lower mania risk, but I use caffeine for prefrontal cortex stimulation.  Attention deficit drugs exacerbate my anxiety.  I'm kind of in a detrimental benzo-caffeine loop, though, so be careful with caffeine.  

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  • 4 weeks later...

I love the title of this post—I lose the ability for my normal level of verbal communication when depressed whether it’s specifically word recall, slowed thinking, actual word formation,  or some combination of basic speech pathway requirements. 

But solely based on my personal experience, your cognitive functioning will return to its previous heights only once depression is fully abated. You mention anhedonia which also indicates you’re probably not fully recovered—not enjoying anything is more bearable than severe depression but it’s seriously disordered. 

That said, I’ve had great success adding an AAP like abilify to your exact cocktail. Wellbutrin is a safe but light AD and lithium has more prowess as an anti-manic, I hope you’ll report back that it brings you well above a just bearable baseline. 

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