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"Memory Torture" and Pure-O disorder?
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Blahblah, in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder - Click Here Repeatedly
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By Blahblah
Just to preface, I don't take Ritalin for ADHD...it's more for Depression, motivation, procrastination, mental stamina purposes.
Has anyone found that you get TOO focused on it? Maybe because I don't actually have ADHD, but I start working on 1 thing and become OBSESSIVELY focused on it (like it brings out the uber perfectionist in me). I forget to eat, I don't take breaks from my desk, and then my brain just shuts off from exhaustion. At the end, I've accomplished only 1-2 tasks.
I have great difficulty switching tasks or getting all "priority" things done, because I get so stuck on working for HOURS on the same little thing!
Basically, my processing speed is much slower, I can't adjust to "fast paced" situations, because I mull on things, make revisions over & over & over etc. On the other hand, if i go without taking it, I lay around, procrastinate, lack all motivation, and I'm unable to start anything at all. Not sure how to solve this? Do other stimulants work in the same way?
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By Britton777
Hi everyone. I’ve been bouncing from one trial of medication to another for the past 4 1/2 years with adverse reactions. Nothing has helped. I just saw a new psychiatrist on Monday. An older gentleman who actually seemed to listen. He was also a longtime professor our local university.
My symptoms are treatment resistant insomnia, chronic, severe anxiety, chronic derealization, ocd (pure o) racing, intrusive thoughts (often presenting as songs looping in my head, but a switch can also go off in my head where I obsessively think about something to the point of it driving me crazy) brain fog, depression. My body and brown simply will not turn off. I’m stuck in constant fight/flight. I believe the lack of sleep is the catalyst for most of this (all of this started after sudden onset of insomnia) Maybe it wouldn’t go away with sleep, but I know it would get better. My main goal is sleep, but seems unattainable after 4 1/2 years.
I have tried every medication under the sun (well, mostly)
The doctor decided to prescribe provigil (modafinil) which seems counterintuitive to me. He was clear that it could go either way. Possible that it could calm me down, possible that it could let me up and make my symptoms worse.
Luckily for me, since I am highly sensitive to medication, he is quite conservative and said to only start with roughly 1/16 of a pill to see how I do.
Wondering what your thoughts are on this given my symptoms? Seems counterintuitive...but maybe it will help. So confused.
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By Britton777
Hi everyone. I’ve been dealing with unbearable symptoms for over 4 years. Insomnia, racing thoughts (OCD), derealization, irritability, brain fog and depression.
I have tried so many medications, but none help. My insomnia and anxiety are through the roof and I have 24/7 derealization. Years ago, 2007, when I was struggling with depression, my psych talked about starting an MAOI, but we instead we added geodon to Zoloft and it worked (for awhile)
Long story short, I developed sudden onset ruminating thoughts (in form of OCD), insomnia and Anxiety in 2009. After many trials of meds (I’m adverse and paradoxical to most) I finally was put on remeron which got me sleeping again and in turn helped my other symptoms.
From 2010-October 2014 I did relatively well, that is until remeron stopped working and all my symptoms came back.
Since I have been inpatient several times trying every sleeping med , bipolar med, SSRI etc with no relief.
Mom wondering if an MAOI could help me? Can MAOI’s treat anxiety? Racy brain? I’ve read they can make insomnia worse, which I don’t need.
Symptoms: severe insomnia, lucid dreams/nightmares, 24/7 derealization, severe anxiety and panic, major depression, brain fog, dizziness, migraines.
I believe, like in 2009-2010, many of my symptoms are from sleep deprivation. I am very desperate to get control over my anxiety and sleep. I’m at the end of my rope.
Could an MAOI help me as a last ditch effort to get some kind of quality of life back?
Current meds: weaning off Zoloft, weaning off remeron, geodon 20 mg X2, Ativan 5 mg per day (please don’t jump down my throat about this, it will give me a panic attack. I know it’s a high dose and I need to taper this too), prazosin 2 mg.
TIA
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By Britton777
Hi all. I saw my (worthless psychiatrist today- I’m seeing a new one in March)
I suffer from severe anxiety and panic, OCD (ruminating thoughts, racing thoughts, intrusive thoughts), derealization, severe insomnia, agitation and depression. I have tried many many medications. Nothing has helped.
I specifically went to talk about trying Nardil today. She’s willing to let me try this, but will have to go off Zoloft and remeron for 2 weeks which scares me. Then if Nardil doesn’t help/work, I’d have to wait another 2 weeks to get back on something else.
She offhandedly asked if I had ever tried rixulti and I told her no. So she pulled out a sample pack for me. I’ve been reading reviews of drugs.com, and it seems that it helps many people with depression, but makes OCD, anxiety, agitation and insomnia worse. Doesn’t sound like a good medication for me.
Was hoping for some thoughts on this. TIA
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By SheltieUnderdog
Just an update based on my posts earlier during this year. I ultimately wound up remaining on the oral antipsychotic (Latuda 20mg) which I started taking after completing my 2nd probation term in this decade in January 2018 stemming from a January 2015 motor vehicle offense which ultimately slammed me with a 3rd degree felony (after already acquiring a misdemeanor for resisting arrest on foot in June 2012) related to having schizoaffective disorder and experiencing manic episodes and hallucinations. I was previously diagnosed with Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features after the 1st incident I was involved in back in June 2012.
My main issue the entire time I was serving both probation terms was that I was always court ordered by a judge to continue taking the antipsychotics by injection and to continue my psychological treatment. My primary concerns with the antipsychotic medication was always having intolerable akathisia (inability to sit still), tremendous amounts of weight gain (My height is 5'8 with a small to medium frame and my weight maxed out in January 2018 at almost 310lb after being around 155lb until after June 2012, severe gynecomastia (recently won Risperdal / Invega class-action lawsuit), anxiety, depression, and disorganized speech (currently seeing a speech pathologist to suppress language disorder).
Following the completion of my 2nd probation term, I was initially placed on Latuda 40mg taken with food at night and then tested out Fanapt 6mg. I was still experiencing most of the side-effects and was still outright desperate to eliminate all of the symptoms I just mentioned. By the beginning of March 2018, I did ultimately try consulting with my psychiatrist about switching to a mood-stabilizer as monotherapy acting in place of an antipsychotic and accepted the risk that if I actually suffer from schizoaffective disorder and it wasn't Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features that I would probably relapse and hallucinate again and I was even in agreement to keep a bottle of antipsychotics as a PRN and to just eat them like crazy if anything happened.
I discussed everything with him (I never considered him to be a control freak) and he said that he would eventually be willing to try my suggestion but asked me if I had any other idea in mind that involved remaining on an antipsychotic for slightly longer. I suggested to him that I'd be willing to try taking the Latuda at 20mg instead of 40mg before switching to a completely different class of drugs.
In retrospect, I'm not even completely certain if any of the oral antipsychotics including the higher dosage of Latuda or Fanapt were even that badly tolerated.. Now, I'm not condemning an entire class of drugs because I now support some of the low-dose oral antipsychotics for myself but I ultimately think that my former overall disgust and intolerance for the antipsychotics was because I was only ever taking them when I was either locked up in county jail and the overall quality of the drugs was really bad and primarily because the only time I was ever actually taking them was when I was taking court-ordered injections. That basically explains why my experience with the mental health system always sucked up to that point.
I'm not trying to speak to highly of myself here but my psychiatrist has always said that he considers me to be one of his higher functioning patients, therefore the reason why he thinks I was always so vocal about all the underlying side effects from the injections and was more sensitive to them than the majority of his patients, even at 260, 280 or 310 pounds, my weight was never really a factor for me in terms of reacting to the meds with less sensitivity.
It simply didn't matter what injection he would put me on. I was on so many of them including Invega, Aristada, and Invega and they always caused more damage than they did anything positive for me. I always felt like the compromises I had to make to not hallucinate and remain out of legal trouble were simply too much to take. The slow-release form of the injections was always too intense for me but I was honestly being completely forthright when I admitted that I didn't want another episode involving the boys in blue to occur ever again.
At the time of my last post, my dosage was already reduced to 20mg and I was still complaining on a regular basis about everything I was still feeling but it wasn't until the end of March when the restless / walking on hot sand feeling finally began to subside. My overall appetite decreased enough to where I lost over 50 pounds by the beginning of the summer (since then the weight loss has stopped at around 260lb unfortunately but I have remained generally stable in terms of my weight). I won a class-action lawsuit against Risperdal / Invega in February and my weight became low enough where my plastic surgeon agreed to perform male-breast reduction surgery on me after denying me previously because I became so overweight / obese after I was released from county jail and the results were very successful without needing revision surgery thus far.
My speech disorder did improve a little but unfortunately wasn't completely going away by the end of the summer. I still felt like I had something like aphasia where I couldn't think of common words or name common objects and the words wouldn't return to my mind until 10 or 20 minutes after the conversation took place. The speech pathologist I eventually saw for this referred me to the audiology department at my local hospital for Central Auditory Processing Testing and it was revealed that I do in fact have a language decoding disorder (my intuition was right all along) which is certainly aggravated by having schizoaffective disorder and maybe even still by the medication.
I only become somewhat anxiety-ridden and become depressed right after I take the medication with some food, therefore I normally take it right before I go to sleep. By the time I wake up, I am no longer experiencing the anxiety and paranoia but I never become psychotic.
Still, the most important thing is that I'm no longer experiencing any of that indescribable akathisia and thank god the weight gain reversed before I hit 350 and I no longer have to walk around with female-like breasts anymore.
This is easily the most balanced I've felt since I developed the mental illness in the beginning of this decade. I'm not a morbidly obese zombie with female-like breasts pacing all day and night with akathisia but I'm also not hallucinating and running away from the local police department during a welfare check or speeding from the state troopers on major highways either. The delusions are still there at certain times except mild enough where I just laugh them off most of the time and don't believe the majority my own deception.
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