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Starting therapy again..after a long time..


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I'm seeing a new tdoc tonight..

I haven't been to therapy in years..

Mostly due to my last one just not working out in the end..

Yes she kept me out of jail and helped me through crisis..

But the mental health aspect just wasn't there..

In some ways I feel it made me worse..

 

I'm really anxious about tonight..

I met with her for a consultation last week and I liked her..

She seemed like she was a good fit..

She had a lot of different approaches and specializes in psychosis..

She's doing this pro bono..somehow this happened..there was one slot for it and she gave it to me..

She doesn't take the insurance I have and knows I'm on disability and she's quite expensive..

I found her on a psychology website where you type in your location and Medicaid..

I thought she took medicaid but I must have misread..

 

I'm just not sure how this goes or what to talk about..

My head is torturing me and full of so much..I don't know where to begin with her..

I forget how therapy works..or even what good therapy is..

 

My pdoc really wanted me to start therapy forever ago..

But I've been so resistant..or reluctant..

I'm just an anxious mess and not even sure I want to go..

 

If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it..

 

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@coraline

If you are very nervous, tell your tdoc. Let them guide the discussion. That would be my advice. Heck, she might just do that anyway! Mine usually does and mine is great at helping me talk about things and making me feel comfortable. Remember they have seen and heard it all. Nothing will shock them or scare them. She will help you open up over time, because remember if they don’t know they can’t help. And I was like that with my old tdoc who wasn’t a good fit and only specialized in personality disorders. Luckily I got to switch tdocs.

It’s great that she specializes in psychosis! Amazing! You are lucky! She should really be able to help you out then! As long as the fit is good.

But having a first good gut instinct is a great start I believe anyway! That’s how I felt about my current tdoc and she has turned out to be the best tdoc I’ve ever had! Even though she doesn’t specialize specifically in psychosis. 

So deep breaths. Remember, she is there to help you feel better. She is on your side! What an amazing opportunity to have such a good tdoc who specializes in psychosis and is willing to work with you for free! Keep focusing on that positive! It’s almost like it was meant to be! She had one slot open and it was meant for you! Because you have been struggling and not feeling well for way too long. I believe sometimes things happen for a good reason. Maybe this will help you out a lot! That is my hope for you, Cora. Because you do deserve all that is good in this world. 

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3 hours ago, coraline said:

I'm seeing a new tdoc tonight..

I haven't been to therapy in years..

Mostly due to my last one just not working out in the end..

Yes she kept me out of jail and helped me through crisis..

But the mental health aspect just wasn't there..

In some ways I feel it made me worse..

 

I'm really anxious about tonight..

I met with her for a consultation last week and I liked her..

She seemed like she was a good fit..

She had a lot of different approaches and specializes in psychosis..

She's doing this pro bono..somehow this happened..there was one slot for it and she gave it to me..

She doesn't take the insurance I have and knows I'm on disability and she's quite expensive..

I found her on a psychology website where you type in your location and Medicaid..

I thought she took medicaid but I must have misread..

 

I'm just not sure how this goes or what to talk about..

My head is torturing me and full of so much..I don't know where to begin with her..

I forget how therapy works..or even what good therapy is..

 

My pdoc really wanted me to start therapy forever ago..

But I've been so resistant..or reluctant..

I'm just an anxious mess and not even sure I want to go..

 

If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it..

 

I agree with cheese- tdocs are used to dealing with people nervous about therapy....id say it's in the job description. The key is to not let your anxiety get in the way of possible progress you could make with her. Maybe your first conversation(s) should be about the best way for the two of you to communicate so down the road if an issue pops up you know how to address it. As said above this seems like a really good opportunity to get back into things and I wish you all the best!!

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this sounds like a really great opportunity for you, and so nice to get her expertise pro bono!

be honest about your apprehension and tell her what makes you nervous about starting therapy again. tell her any concerns you have, and tell her that your last experience with therapy didn't feel helpful for your mental health. if she can get on the same page with you about what a big step this is for you, it'll help her know how to help you best. i know how scary it is to start doing therapy. give it a good fair shot, though -- one of the things therapy helped me with immensely was being able to get a hold on my anxiety. 

it's okay to spend the first sessions just getting to know each other, and it's okay if you don't have a specific therapy goal yet. when you're chatting about what you're currently struggling with most, she'll likely be able to come up with some good things to work on. she'll also want to talk about your history a lot at first. be as honest as you can, but let her know if there's anything you don't feel comfortable going into yet. it's important that you go at your own speed.

also, be prepared that therapy might take a lot out of you mentally, even if you're not going too deep yet. it's exhausting to talk about yourself and actively listen for a whole session. i would plan to do something quiet and soothing after you meet with her.

i wish you lots of luck! let us know how it goes if you can. :-) 

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  • 2 weeks later...

omg! I was just going to write this very topic. Need to start therapy again after years and not sure what to do. Go to the same therapist I used before?

All my anxiety is focused on what you have already solved - WHO to see.

What to do? NOTHING! Prepare nothing, be yourself, in the moment, talk about WHATEVER is happening at that time when you are sitting in the chair in front of the therapist. Bring your life into the room. If the waiting room freaked you out or the person who walked out before you, talk about that. If your feet hurt, talk about that. Your head is exploding? Let it it explode with her. Therapy is all about having a safe place to share everything and anything with someone who is a professional.

There are no rules or regulations, or right or wrong way to be. I did CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy for years and years. One reason it worked so well was my therapist insisted I attend three times a week at first. And I finally found someone who clicked with me, and moreover I was ready to do the hard work. This was the 4th or 5th tdoc I had seen -- therapy felt like an expensive way to talk with a good friend l until I met this male tdoc.  Eventually all of the past crap, all the abuse, the family stories came out but that never was the focus. It is was me in my life at that time. Over the years I took those hard earned tools back out into my life and finally 'graduated'.

Now due to unfortunate circumstances I think it would be beneficial for me to go back into therapy. I always tell my friends it is a gift. Having the space to unload my junk without having  to organize anyone one else;s in return.  I guess there is no reason not to at least start with the same tdoc again. THnaks for listening!! lol

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