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Extreme trouble with benzos, please help.

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Okay, the trouble began a bit over a month ago. Clonazepam stopped working for me; even worth, they started causing anxiety. That was just the Teva brand. The Actavis brand caused anxiety, panic attacks, anhedonic depression, and even delirium. Got an ER rx for hydroxyzine. It may have caused brain damage, but it worked for a time on anxiety. Now I'm on Ativan, which seems to help the depression, but that's about it.

Went to a psych ward for six days and all I really got out of it was a prescription for Ativan. Their psychiatrist wasn't talkative, brushed things off, and basically shrugged his shoulders alot. Had to go to an ER again today for a panic attack from Ativan and had to argue with the staff psych that Ativan was helping with depression.

Basically my body is not reacting to medications as it should be and nobody seems interested in finding out why. My best guesses are possibly mold or possibly a high nortriptyline serum level (they only bothered to take blood for it on the last day.) Please! I need to hear some other ideas for this.

Edited by Schlep
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I took the hydroxyzine in the afternoon for intense clonazepam withdrawal. I felt it hit in 10 minutes (and it was NOT relaxing, though they said it would be.) Extremely drowsy for 2 hours, but not enough to get to sleep (it did cool the anxiety though). The drowsiness hit again out of nowhere six hours later, same thing. Felt like I was drugged after that. Was thinking about something and forgot the word "urologist" (had to google "doctor for men" to learn it again.) I think the drowsiness hit one more time. Slept for a little bit by evening for the first time in a few days. Debated about taking my nightly nortriptyline in this state, but it was over 13 hours since I took the hydroxyzine (which was prescribed as 3 times a day). Slept again, then woke up in an extremely disturbing depersonalized state, feeling that half my mind was gone and that I'd spend the rest of my life as a vegetable. Had similar experiences on beta-blockers, but nothing like this.

In the days following I discovered that I couldn't remember complete sets of things, mainly names. I would cycle through a group of people like, say friends or coworkers, and would randomly hit a blank at somebody, and would have to exert a great deal of effort to recover it. It even took me a few days to remember the name of the actor who played the last male Doctor Who. And all this was on top of what the clonazepam already did to me a few days earlier. 

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It sounds like to me like you are experiencing some tolerance to clonazepam. It does sound like you need a higher dose of clonazepam. Do you take it regularly or as needed ?

A feature the benzos have is they experience cross tolerance, as in taking 2 bezos together, you end up experiencing tolerance with both meds. It also has a synergistic effect. 

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I sincerely doubt you have brain damage, it's common for people to have paradoxical reactions to benzos, I've had both on Ativan.  I've felt depressed, excited, and calm on it at different times.

How long were you on Clonazepam?  You might actually feel better just stopping the benzos, I'm no doctor though, I'd run it by your main PDoc.

You're going through benzos, benzo withdrawals, and also a lot of stress...I wouldn't worry at all about your brain fog and memory issues, I would actually expect them in this situation.

Edited by BrianOCD
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