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Here I am. Until I do something.. anything!- here I fucking sit. Day after agonizing day, with the realization that, hey, you've accomplished shit! I'm not in school, and whose fault is that? No ones but my own. I don't even believe I'll graduate! Because all I've got so far is my grade 9 credits, nothing else. (I was even LUCKY to get the credits for the 2nd half of grade 9, due to hospitalizations) and why is that? Because during the middle of the year, I freak out, come to a standstill, where I see that I need to put a stop to all the days of school I miss while sobbing, wailing, weeping.. howling like a god damn animal

Edited by x_lifeless

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Hi, Laura...

I'm so sorry to hear how crappy you're feeling. I can certainly relate to feeling stuck. I don't know that I can offer any advice at the moment (it's late, maybe I'll get some ideas tomorrow).

I do have a Q. From what you wrote, it looks like all the meds you've been on have been antidepressants. Have you (or your pdoc) ever thought of trying a mood stabilizer? For some people with treatment-resistant depression they work great.

Also, you wrote that "I

Edited by revlow

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Hi Laura,

Revlow has some good ideas.  I don't really have any, but I'm here, and I'm listening, and I'm going to keep reading.  16 is way too young to give up.  You seem to be very intelligent (seems to be common for those of us who are mentally interesting).  Have you thought about getting your GED (or whatever they call it in Canadia)?  You can work at your own pace, and it would give you something positive to focus on.

Through all the pain, I can see an amazing person.  I'd like to get to know you better.  Keep posting, okay?

~CS

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Thank you both so much for your replies.

"Have you (or your pdoc) ever thought of trying a mood stabilizer?"

Is Lithium a mood stabilizer? If so, she's brought that up, but at the time I turned it down. I could always bring up the topic of a mood stabilizer again though, as it could be quite helpful..

No worries revlow, the possibility of Bipolar doesn't scare me. I could definitely have it brought up. Thanks for the link as well!

CrazySoprano- It's always good to hear that there's somebody listening. I've noticed that too. Most people I talk to that are MI, seem to be extremely intelligent. Hmm.. I've never heard of a GED, and have no clue what it stands for, but I'll google it, and see what I can find. Thank you. :) I'll try to keep posting, but I usually do more lurking around the site, as I have been doing for the longest time. ;) I'm very shy about posting, but I'm sure that shyness will fade the more I post!

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Hi,

Maybe you've googled it already, but in case you haven't I found this at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GED

The GED, or General Educational Development Test, is a test that certifies the taker has attained American or Canadian high school-level academic skills.

So apparently it's available in Canada as well.

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And, yes, lithium is a mood stabilizer, in fact the first medication that helped bipolar disorder. Lamictal was also mentioned. Also a mood stabilizer. And both these medications have antidepressant action as well as mood stabilization.

It may be hard to believe right now, but this is not the time to give up. You have many more options open to you than you can see right now. I hope you'll stick around here. You'll find people as deep in the abyss as you and plenty of others who have made it back out and can understand what you're feeling now.

Greeny

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Heya Laura,

Fellow Canuckian here.

Nice to meet you!

1.  Yah I would ask about mood stabilizers.  Read the link revlow gave.  Depression that doesn't respons to a bunch of antidepressants is probably some kind of bipolar.  So things -- mood stabilizers -- like lithium, Epival, Tegretol, and Lamictal are worth a *really good* trial.  Talk to your doc.

2.  I don't know where you live here but hardly matters.  If you're over 18, contact your local community college.  They'll have high-school-equivalency courses for adults, and you can get your grade 12 in a couple of years.  If you're under 18, contact the local high schools too, for the same kind of courses.  A *lot* of the courses can be done by correspondence, which helps if you're scared of people, too.

You can do it.

And we're here.

--ncc--

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I'm in Ontario and you can absolutely do a GED program, even via correspondence, so you don't even have to sit in classes.  Look into it.

There are also lots of private college courses which do not require HS diplomas. 

Note that GED does not qualify you to apply for universities though.  You'd have to go back the long way for that, but there are adult night courses available.

Don't give up.

Dee

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