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Sabotaging new relationships


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Karuna said it all. Basically, he was hot and ready to make it happen too. How many women has he been with? I bet more than 10! If you want a count, and I don't count, mine is somewhere around 25-30. I'm BP so that is including the mania mistakes, but no matter what your "number", sex is still a great emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual gift. No matter how many people you go to bed with, it doesn't make it any less meaningful. At least to me. And HE is the slut if HE was ready to jump your bones and decided against it, or had an issue, because you were more experienced. He maybe has a fetish for virgins! Who knows? He's got sexual issues anyway. Be comfortable with yourself and confident in your sexual choices, and who cares what he thinks.

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Thank you for the thoughtful reply, Karuna and everyone else!

Truth is, I do not feel comfortable having sex so early.  In fact, I'm not sure that I ever feel really comfortable having sex ;)   But especially not until I feel that I know and trust someone.

So...I wonder why I've allowed myself to do it before I feel comfortable?  I guess as I said, I have put some walls up and it's a distancing technique.  It also is a way I can prove how "bad" I am...because I do feel a little bad about myself. :)

I'm just so lonely.  No one seems quite like me.  No one quite understands me or accepts me as I am.  It feels bad to be alone and to not have someone special.  At least having sex gives me some power because I know men want me and find me attractive. 

How can I slow things down?  I don't feel good about myself.  But once you start thinking about sex casually, it's hard to start taking it seriously again.

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