invictus61101 Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 i don't even think my husband or daughter like me. my parents probably don't even like me. i'm annoying and boring. no one wants to spend time with me. i'm lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Latin Girl Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 What makes you think that? Have they said you are boring? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invictus61101 Posted March 12, 2006 Author Share Posted March 12, 2006 they haven't said it, but i can see it in their eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 My parents only like me when I'm medicated and quiet. You're not the only one who's lonely like that. (hug) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waterfall Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Nobody likes me either, at least not as many people as I like. Let's start a club and like each other! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 I'm sure that people do not actually hate me, but I am paranoid that they do. I like Waterfall's idea. We can have a club of people who think everyone else hates them and like each other! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invictus61101 Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 the club thing might be a good idea, but i would wonder if everyone secretly didn't like me and was just pretending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sepia Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 i would wonder if everyone secretly didn't like me and was just pretending. I don't know if you're kidding about this part or not, but if you always believe that nobody likes you, you are not living in reality. There is no one on this earth who is so completely unlikable, nobody really likes them. Please try to recognize this, at least cognitively. People tend to marry people they like, so there is a good chance there is some liking going on there. Children tend to bear some form of affection towards their parents, so you are probably liked on some level there. You are liked by several people on CrazyBoards. You are likable. No matter how many times you've been rejected in the past, your paranoia about people just pretending is not one hundred per cent correct. Feeling no one really liked me has been a major feature of my illness, whatever you want to call it. I've been intermittently convinced that no one likes me and no one will, and feared that my apparent "friends" were soon to betray me. (To be honest, throughout childhood my "friends" were always apparent and always betrayed me before the week was out, and only used pseudo-friendship to increase their amusement in tormenting me. This belief was once rooted in truth.) This has shaped my personality. This has destabilized my life. I know it's impossible to snap out of it. I know this is some scary deep-rooted shit, and I am in no way qualified to tease it all out of you. I don't even know how long it would take -- mere months, or years? But at least try to accept, intellectually, that people do like you, really. At least in your head. Please try. As for this club of mutual liking, I'd like to sign up for the snack committee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Latin Girl Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 the club thing might be a good idea, but i would wonder if everyone secretly didn't like me and was just pretending. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Why do you *think* people don't like you. You said by the way they look at you. But you must have some other reason for thinking that. I don't know you. But I would be in the club. I think you are nice ") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 If it makes you feel any better, I've alienated most people. No one likes me and to be honest, I don't like most of them either. I don't view it as a problem though, really. I just want to stay at home with my bf and my dog (so I'm not lonely). All those people and their parties and social obligations are too much anyways. Who cares. Maybe you should focus on one or two important people, so you aren't lonely. Being a social butterfly is overrated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NARS Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Sometimes I just feel unlikeable--actually, unlovable. Yesterday a thread of mine got moved to another forum and I spent an hour feeling sad and thinking I'm always saying inappropriate things. No matter that people are generally nice to me here. When I'm in that kind of mood I figure everyone's just pretending to be nice. So I get where you're coming from. In my case I'm going off of wellbutrin and have been a little uneven (and am watching carefully for depression). Depression alone will give me a general feeling that I'm bad and unlovable. If I get a little hypomania with it I can feel not only unlovable but paranoid that everyone's about to reject me. I half expect someone to leave me on a snowy mountaintop to die. Sure, you may be having problems getting along with your family and friends, but I think that might be because you just might be depressed. You sure seem likeable around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firedancer Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I feel the same way. Online and IRL. I just can't join in and have the relationships that everyone else seems to have with one another. I feel like an outsider. I feel sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulah Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 i sooo know this feeling. sometimes ill write a whole post here and just delete it for the simple fact that i wont get a response. i cant stand rejection and i hate thinking that no one cares... i get accused of pushing everyone away IRL, but i dont. er, maybe i do. im just paranoid and 'careful' i guess. i just cant seem to have that same friendships that other girls do...ive always so desperately wanted that... but ive never had it. then i end up beating myself up over it and feel guilty forever. i dont even know if this makes sense? now i feel stupid. heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invictus61101 Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 well i have never had any friends in my whole life. that, to me, says that no one likes me. i think my husband married me because he was lonely and now he is stuck with me because he doesn't like to drive and has no other way of getting to work. nobody wants to spend any time with me doing anything. everytime i ask someone if they want to do something with me, they make up an excuse. everyone is always busy. my daughter throws things at me when i try to hug her. she only wants her daddy. when i was pregnant with her, i had pre-term labor, and i think it is because she didn't like me and wanted to get away as soon as possible. and my pdoc says i can't go back to him until i am not pregnant, so i think that he doesn't really like me either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nnxt Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Yep, I'm paranoid about that as well. I tend to push people away though. It's hard for me to make small talk and all that. I am socially retarded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ophelia Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 i sooo know this feeling. sometimes ill write a whole post here and just delete it for the simple fact that i wont get a response. i cant stand rejection and i hate thinking that no one cares... i get accused of pushing everyone away IRL, but i dont. er, maybe i do. im just paranoid and 'careful' i guess. i just cant seem to have that same friendships that other girls do...ive always so desperately wanted that... but ive never had it. then i end up beating myself up over it and feel guilty forever. i dont even know if this makes sense? now i feel stupid. heh. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> wow, ash, you actually put all that pretty well and really... well... accurate to....well, me. so, therefore, if that didnt make any sense and you feel stupid.... then i am right there with ya! lol! awww, ash, will you be my friend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firedancer Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 I hate this feeling. I've had friends at points in my life, but no one I consider a soul mate type friend. I spend most of my time alone (I'm out of work because of these migraines) and spend alot of time online. But as soon as I begin to have a 'friendship', I pull away. I'm so insecure. I too type things and then just don't post them for fear of sounding stupid. The last thing I need is someone to make a comment, even if its not meant to be taken in a mean way. I'm too sensitive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dire Curves Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 The only way people (all of them) can get along with me is if they only spend an average of one day per week with me, anymore and things get interesting. I've been called argumentative, receding, and hiding from the world. Well sorry world, I'll get to you later right now ive got myself to take care of at the current moment in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firedancer Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Thank you! That is how I feel sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallulah Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 wow, ash, you actually put all that pretty well and really... well... accurate to....well, me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ophelia Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 of course i will be your friend! then we have eachother to understand when we're being stupid and not making sense and not pushing people away and just being plain...well...ourselves =) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> makes sense to me!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncc1701 Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Heya invictus and everybody, A lot of the time I feel (know?) that nobody likes me *except* when I'm being their doctor, and those people don't like *me* so much as what I can *do* for them. DH gives me these warning pats on the leg when I'm starting to spout off potentially alienating stuff in public. Wow, is *that* annoying. I'm trying to learn that even if I can't find people who seem to like me, it doesn't mean I'm unlikeable, but that still doesn't make sense to me most of the time. I'm like you, Dee, mostly I don't care about all the social crap. I don't *get it,* and it's too damn stressful and loud anyway. But I would like to have some of those girl-girl friendships that are supposedly so life-prolonging, but I can't seen to trust any of these women. I *think* I have a friend now, but I'm being *very* cautious about it. And yah, invictus, I understand about that feeling you can't put your finger on that people just.don't.like.you. but you can't say why exactly. Probably is in our perception, as I am very bad at reading social cues outside the office. But still really sucks, esp when I don't like *myself* half the time due to freaking bipolar. I want in the unlikeables club. I can bring free pens. You guys can have all the ones that won't attach to my string around my neck. (Oh -- and any psych who says go away and come back to me when you've popped is a jerk. That's not you being unlikeable. That's a psych out of his depth (hey, that's okay!) but *afraid* or *too proud* to ask for help (*so* not okay). Can your OB or FP try to open a dialogue with your psych?? Or can your OB/FP help you find a consultant for during the pregnancy/lactation?? (Sorry for the exclamation marks!! but as a doctor and a patient and a human that is *so* upsetting. ) Oh, and for the club, also I have a *lot* of stickers, which are supposedly tax-deductible, so hey. Who wants a sparkly smilie-face stuck to the back of their hand? Kids seem to love this. --ncc-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invictus61101 Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 I'm scared of stickers, but I'll take a pen. My OB and midwife are sort of acting as my pdoc now. They're pretty inadequate, but they won't let me take anything besides Zoloft anyway so it isn't like I need a special doctor to prescribe that. I like them though, they are always nice to me, and they saved my daughter's life or at least had a part in it. And since I am on medicaid now only because I am pregnant, I don't have much of a choice who I see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtywonderful Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I thought this whole board was full of social retards. Thats why I feel at home here. This, to me, is one giant club of loners. I feel welcomed here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stable not balanced Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 well, i have never had the close "soul-mate" friend until college. (2, but not as close anymore.) i was always a follower. i was just kind of accepted as being there, but never part of the group. it was kinda like this after college, at work, too. never really close, but always part of the group. after bp, when talking to some of these same people, i found out that they really were my friends. by the way they responded to my hardship. (i am pretty open, that is who i am) at least a few i hope to keep in touch with. i have only now just begun to get my life in order, but i know who i want included in it. what really helps is that i am in a profession (television) that is used to eccentric types and likes them for their quirkiness. every person i have told at work has come back with, "well, i have depression. well, i am/my father is manic depressive. my brother is an epileptic. i have ocd." it is a very open environment and i think people like having an opportunity to talk with their peers about what is really going on in their lives. (at first, i thought i was being judged behind my back, who knows, maybe i am, but in all honesty, all of my life i have never felt very good about myself. i have this newfound confidence because i have been forced to take a good look at myself, define what i think is important and decide how i would like to present myself as a person. i am bp, i am kooky. if you feel confident, your differences will only be perceived as being who you are.) maybe its just finding the right environment to be in. analzying yourself to the point that you know every crevice of your thoughts and beliefs. being that person. i know everyone has already told you that you are a very informative, entertaining person with many great attributes. Don't worry about anyone else's perceptions but your own. work from the inside out. you will find yourself in the place you need to be. Have a sun-shiney day! Kathryn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gizmo Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 I love this topic, because it is SO me! I'm the one who had to take a Xanax today at work because I *just knew* a coworker and a boss said something bad about me as I left their office, becuase *of course* they didn't like me! The xanax was so I would mellow out and not go barging back in the office screaming, "Why don't you like me?" The funny thing is, I used to have loads of work friends when I was manic and hypomanic. I was the nonstop comic routine one that made everyone roll on the floor laughing. Well, the meds I'm on definitely control my mania now (why it can't control the anxiety and depression is beyond me!) and now those friends look at me like I'm a different person now. So now I just sit in my office all day and don't talk to them. Screw em. I get paid to work, not to talk. I don't talk to people at home. Hell, I barely talk to my family any more. I think my voice is going to fade away like the turkey in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation before too much longer. I actually have entire conversations with myself in my head and tune out my family and have to ask them to repeat what they are saying to me. I mean, how weird is that? The bad part? I don't really give a flying rat's ass any more. I've been through medication and cycling hell these past 18 months, and I just don't feel like talking to anyone right now. Not talking gives me less things to freak out about, as in "Oh my god, why did I say that?" I think a lot of it is the meds. I'm pretty much a zombie shell on these meds, but at least I don't think the helicopters are the FBI spying on me and the cable guy is waiting for me to leave so he can dig in my trash anymore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nnxt Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Social retardation comes in many forms and varying degrees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 It's not us. It's them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firedancer Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 It's not us. It's them. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I hate those commercials that show these groups of women meeting for lunch or to go hiking and they are discussing some new medication. They seem to be all good friends for years. It really pisses me off. Because I will never have that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 But those women look so annoying. Who'd want to be friends with them anyways? They look vanilla and boring. Fuck them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazed&Confused Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 But those women look so annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tim Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 There is only a few people that associate with me. These people I sorta consider to be my friends. But they tend to avoid me when I call them and when they answer they usally have an excuse as to why we can't hang out. I guess I'm not very much fun to be with since I don't have a shit load of social skills or cool personality traits. However I do occasionally socilize with these people and they do care about me and would miss me if I were to die. I really like socilazing with these people but for some reason they don't get the same thrill out of sociallizing as I do, probably because they have more important people to associate with or people they like better then me. I really wish I was on that list. And I really wish that I had A female that would include me on a list like that. That would really make me happy! But I guess I'm not cool enough for a list like that. It really fucking sucks not have close friends that really really like me. It makes me want to A: Overdose on drugs or B:put a gun to my head. I really hate being alone with my family that fights with each other 24/7. So hoffily in the future I will have close friends that really raelly care about me. I have to be positive or else I will die lonley, really being positive is all I have to hold on to, unfornatley it really it ain't much of a weapon on preventing social isolation. But it's all I have so I'm going to try to to utilize this tool of being positive. I wish jus one person would read this and internalize this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tim Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 There is only a few people that associate with me. These people I sorta consider to be my friends. But they tend to avoid me when I call them and when they answer they usally have an excuse as to why we can't hang out. I guess I'm not very much fun to be with since I don't have a shit load of social skills or cool personality traits. However I do occasionally socilize with these people and they do care about me and would miss me if I were to die. I really like socilazing with these people but for some reason they don't get the same thrill out of sociallizing as I do, probably because they have more important people to associate with or people they like better then me. I really wish I was on that list. And I really wish that I had A female that would include me on a list like that. That would really make me happy! But I guess I'm not cool enough for a list like that. It really fucking sucks not have close friends that really really like me. It makes me want to A: Overdose on drugs or B:put a gun to my head. I really hate being alone with my family that fights with each other 24/7. So hoffily in the future I will have close friends that really raelly care about me. I have to be positive or else I will die lonley, really being positive is all I have to hold on to, unfornatley it really it ain't much of a weapon on preventing social isolation. But it's all I have so I'm going to try to to utilize this tool of being positive. I wish jus one person would read this and internalize this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtclms Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I hate those commercials that show these groups of women meeting for lunch or to go hiking and they are discussing some new medication. They seem to be all good friends for years. It really pisses me off. Because I will never have that. I am so glad other people feel this way. I want to throw things at the TV when those ads come on. Allowing Big Pharma to advertise was the worst idea evah. And I have a few very close friends, most of whom are also bipolar, or have their own quirks. But none of them live near me, so they don't provide much of a social life. I usually don't care, but sometimes I feel embarrassed that I don't have local support to help me out with simple tasks, the way I would for my friends. For instance, my husband has epilepsy, and cannot drive, and I am having surgery. There is no one to ask for a ride back and forth from the hospital. We will figure something out, but I feel like I am imposing a huge burden on people when I ask for favors, because I don't think of them as being close, and I am sure the feeling is mutual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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