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nobody likes me


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i would wonder if everyone secretly didn't like me and was just pretending.

I don't know if you're kidding about this part or not, but if you always believe that nobody likes you, you are not living in reality. There is no one on this earth who is so completely unlikable, nobody really likes them. Please try to recognize this, at least cognitively.

People tend to marry people they like, so there is a good chance there is some liking going on there. Children tend to bear some form of affection towards their parents, so you are probably liked on some level there. You are liked by several people on CrazyBoards. You are likable. No matter how many times you've been rejected in the past, your paranoia about people just pretending is not one hundred per cent correct.

Feeling no one really liked me has been a major feature of my illness, whatever you want to call it. I've been intermittently convinced that no one likes me and no one will, and feared that my apparent "friends" were soon to betray me. (To be honest, throughout childhood my "friends" were always apparent and always betrayed me before the week was out, and only used pseudo-friendship to increase their amusement in tormenting me. This belief was once rooted in truth.) This has shaped my personality. This has destabilized my life.

I know it's impossible to snap out of it. I know this is some scary deep-rooted shit, and I am in no way qualified to tease it all out of you. I don't even know how long it would take -- mere months, or years? But at least try to accept, intellectually, that people do like you, really. At least in your head. Please try.

As for this club of mutual liking, I'd like to sign up for the snack committee.

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the club thing might be a good idea, but i would wonder if everyone secretly didn't like me and was just pretending.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why do you *think* people don't like you.

You said by the way they look at you.  But you must have some other reason for thinking that.

I don't know you. But I would be in the club. I think you are nice ")

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If it makes you feel any better, I've alienated most people.  No one likes me and to be honest, I don't like most of them either.  I don't view it as a problem though, really.  I just want to stay at home with my bf and my dog (so I'm not lonely). 

All those people and their parties and social obligations are too much anyways.  Who cares.

Maybe you should focus on one or two important people, so you aren't lonely.  Being a social butterfly is overrated.

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Sometimes I just feel unlikeable--actually, unlovable.  Yesterday a thread of mine got moved to another forum and I spent an hour feeling sad and thinking I'm always saying inappropriate things.  No matter that people are generally nice to me here.  When I'm in that kind of mood I figure everyone's just pretending to be nice.

So I get where you're coming from.  In my case I'm going off of wellbutrin and have been a little uneven (and am watching carefully for depression).  Depression alone will give me a general feeling that I'm bad and unlovable.  If I get a little hypomania with it I can feel not only unlovable but paranoid that everyone's about to reject me.  I half expect someone to leave me on a snowy mountaintop to die.

Sure, you may be having problems getting along with your family and friends, but I think that might be because you just might be depressed.  You sure seem likeable around here. ;)

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i sooo know this feeling.

sometimes ill write a whole post here and just delete it for the simple fact that i wont get a response.  i cant stand rejection and i hate thinking that no one cares...

i get accused of pushing everyone away IRL, but i dont. er, maybe i do. im just paranoid and 'careful' i guess. i just cant seem to have that same friendships that other girls do...ive always so desperately wanted that... but ive never had it.

then i end up beating myself up over it and feel guilty forever.

i dont even know if this makes sense? 

now i feel stupid.

heh.

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well i have never had any friends in my whole life.  that, to me, says that no one likes me. 

i think my husband married me because he was lonely and now he is stuck with me because he doesn't like to drive and has no other way of getting to work.

nobody wants to spend any time with me doing anything.  everytime i ask someone if they want to do something with me, they make up an excuse.  everyone is always busy.

my daughter throws things at me when i try to hug her.  she only wants her daddy.  when i was pregnant with her, i had pre-term labor, and i think it is because she didn't like me and wanted to get away as soon as possible.

and my pdoc says i can't go back to him until i am not pregnant, so i think that he doesn't really like me either.

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i sooo know this feeling.

sometimes ill write a whole post here and just delete it for the simple fact that i wont get a response.  i cant stand rejection and i hate thinking that no one cares...

i get accused of pushing everyone away IRL, but i dont. er, maybe i do. im just paranoid and 'careful' i guess. i just cant seem to have that same friendships that other girls do...ive always so desperately wanted that... but ive never had it.

then i end up beating myself up over it and feel guilty forever.

i dont even know if this makes sense? 

now i feel stupid.

heh.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

wow, ash, you actually put all that pretty well and really... well... accurate to....well, me.  so, therefore, if that didnt make any sense and you feel stupid.... then i am right there with ya! lol!  awww, ash, will you be my friend? ;)

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I hate this feeling.  I've had friends at points in my life, but no one I consider a soul mate type friend.  I spend most of my time alone (I'm out of work because of these migraines) and spend alot of time online.  But as soon as I begin to have a 'friendship', I pull away.  I'm so insecure. 

I too type things and then just don't post them for fear of sounding stupid.  The last thing I need is someone to make a comment, even if its not meant to be taken in a mean way.  I'm too sensitive.

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The only way people (all of them) can get along with me is if they only spend an average of one day per week with me, anymore and things get interesting.  I've been called argumentative, receding,  and hiding from the world.  Well sorry world, I'll get to you later right now ive got myself to take care of at the current moment in time.

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