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Self-destructive thoughts. Went the to minute clinic. Waited a hour to be told they don't prescribe benzos. Stormed out of  there. Nearly started throwing shit around the store. Scared the doctor. To to the urgent care clinic. Got a pathetic amount of Xanax. Feeling of guilt, self-destruction, anger, angst. My soul cries for relief. Rude and nasty to my loved ones. I have a demon inside me. Desperate for relief. Resisting the temptation to consume alcohol. Emotional hangover. Emotional pain that cuts to my soul. Profound hopelessness. Shaking and racing thoughts. Feel like to I want to destroy myself. I want to be numb.

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