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ananke

Brexit: who even knows at this point

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-46509288

Any other Brits or interested parties looking at this and laughing (because if you weren't, you'd be crying)? I tried to think of something funny to say, but honestly Cameron said it the best three years ago:

image.png.ec9b4480ba104ec3abf8070e9e9b5c7c.png

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Ahhhhh! Brexit! We're all sick of it but we can't stop talking about it and getting pissed off by it. Firstly, I think that anyone who says 'Brexit means Brexit' shouldn't be allowed to vote, and probably shouldn't be allowed to breed. All these complex questions but 'Brexit means Brexit'. Yes and broccoli means broccoli, and fish fingers means fish fingers, and llama means llama. Well done! You've probably sort of progressed enough to understand how language works at a level that a can chimpanzee understand. Tree! There's a tree! And tree means tree!

It has proved to be an inadequeate reply to the complex questions that Brexit has thrown up though. What will be our future relationship with Europe? Brexit means Brexit. And the Northern Ireland border? Brexit means Brexit. And how will we deal with evil unicorns from another dimension stealing our icecream? Oh you're going with Brexit means Brexit again are you? Well thank you for your intelligent contribution to the debate.

I don't want to talk too seriously because it's too annoying. Talking about the same damn things and getting nowhere. It's just like watching Groundhog Day except everyday Bill Murray has to attend a 12 hour lecture on how chimneys have evolved since the 7th century, before being torn apart by badgers and waking up screaming and having to go through the same shit all over again.

I think a second vote would be a good idea. I don't think anyone had much of a clue what they were voting for in the EU referendum. We were given the impression that we'd leave by the end of the week and be able to spend millions more on the NHS. That turned out not to be true. Remember Boris or Nige talking about the Irish border? Nope. We learnt shit from the EU referendum debate and we're far better informed about what it means now. Brexit means more than Brexit, it means all sorts of shit caused by people who voted for it because they hate immigrants or don't seem to be aware that we don't have an empire anymore (Jacob Rees-Mogg would probably be shocked to hear that India has become independent).

And it's just like having piles I guess. You're bored of thinking about it, and you're bored of talking about it, but it's still a pain in the arse which won't go away. We don't want to be ruled by Brussels! We want to be ruled by our own politicians, who are looking utterly incompetent. Because we're all British, and this issue has completely divided the nation so what the hell does that even mean? It increasingly seems like a bad idea but where's that Dunkirk spirit? Dunkirk was a defeat.

I don't really have an opinion.

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4 hours ago, Fluent In Silence said:

And it's just like having piles I guess. You're bored of thinking about it, and you're bored of talking about it, but it's still a pain in the arse which won't go away.

Piles are hemorrhoids?

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Oh dear FIS... you don't seem to get it... Brexit MEANS Brexit. Try not to think any harder than that, or else you might be drafted as a civil servant. 

All sarcasm aside, my civil servant family member hasn't been heard from in a while. I think they now live at the office. We'll send out a search party in the new year.

It's like Groundhog Day only all the politicians are in varying levels of despair. Some are stuck in the 'stealing the groundhog and driving off a cliff', others are still trying to seduce Andi McDowell (a deal). Nigel Farage is the ice cold puddle some just keep falling into.

I sort of agree with you about a second ref. Aside from the fact that it wasn't a legally binding vote (grumble grumble) the amount of horse shit that came from all sections of the Brexit campaign should be enough to rule it a farce. Glad to see all the Brussels money is now going towards junior doctors! Oh wait

JRM honestly makes me want to vomit, but none more so than Gove. URgghhghh. The tragic irony is the amount of towns/industries that voted Leave, only to realise that the vast majority of their funding came from the EU. I think regardless of whether we Deal or No Deal, Brexit or not, we have monumentally fucked up our economy. Which, after a global recession and years of 'austerity' we definitely needed! It's more a matter of how badly we shot ourselves in the foot imo.

It is like piles (or haemorrhoids), and when it all comes down to it we're the ones holding the turd. May will disappear soon enough, Boris will do something spectacularly stupid and irritating, Cameron will slink back to his writing caravan, and Farage will continue to be a political presence for some gods awful reason.

But look, all of it was worth it to court the alt-right and the fascists into voting Tory huh :) 

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It's a good thing neither of us are major economies or else this entire catastrophe might have far reaching consequences beyond our nations, and may in fact destabilise the economy right

I mean, we're just a small part of the EU right

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Is it just me or does Nigel Farage look like General Ackbar? Inserting images seems to be broken at the moment so

https://g8fip1kplyr33r3krz5b97d1-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/GettyImages-664746646-714x475.jpg

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2016/04/05/ackbar_wide-f0a673c875361830e84eaa3b98f7f886a750b0e5-s800-c85.jpg

It's uncanny! Just me?

Yeah even if Brexit turns us into a dynamic and flexible economy it's not going to happen overnight. Even if - if! - that eventually happens, it's going to be a blow to the economy in the short term. Great time to be taking such a risk. Maybe wait until we don't need food banks before gambling with our future. I don't think much of Corbin either. Seems like an angry geography teacher.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek9_GQa1lgc

 

 

 

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I never really cared about brexit. It is beyond my control. I actually never voted. There are going to be pros and cons to whether we stay or leave. Whatever. Everyone is an expert. I just don't care as it is way beyond my control.

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The only reason Norway have been able to make it work is though allowing free travel and accepting refugees, that got them a good deal with the EU. Seeing as how people who voted for Brexit specifically said they hated "foreigners" I don't think they'll for for that. Maybe Britain can set up some kind of haven for organized crime, like Swizerland did. That's could work

Whatever they do I hope it works out for the people on the bottom, 'cause you know whatever happens the rich will be fine.

Edited by Antecedent

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The last few days have been so stressful and weird even I'm on the verge of giving up and burying my head in the sand 'til it's all over. I'm surprised more businesses haven't been piling on the pressure. It would be a disaster if we left in April without a deal, and I'm sure they'll ask for an extension but I can understand concerns from businesses that delaying Brexit further will compromise their interests. And by compromise their interests, I mean they'll move elsewhere, a lot of people will lose their jobs and our economy will tank. 

Why become a tax haven when we could just privatise everything (that hasn't already been privatised). The NHS must be worth a few quid, maybe we could sell that off, stick a toll booth on the Eurostar and call it a day. 

I've rewritten this several times trying to be funny or smart, and I'm just tired instead. strong and stab

(edit: accidentally hit publish before finishing 'strong and stable' but fuck it)

Edited by ananke

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On 12/19/2018 at 6:58 PM, Fluent In Silence said:

And how will we deal with evil unicorns from another dimension stealing our icecream? .

Don’t worry, FIS. I have it on good authority that in the unicorn dimension, they drive on the right hand side of the road. So all your invaders are going to look the wrong way when they go to cross the streets.

48D1ED73-9821-4C71-A14F-7D782CE5D86C.jpeg

You’ll be rid of them in no time.

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And The British Government has shown they can't organise a Piss up in a Distillery (yeah I know it should be Brewery but Distillery is more accurate here). 

Parliament has just ruled out a no-deal brexit and they are going back to ask for an extension while at the same time there are reminders from certain sections of the IRA that they are still around to cause chaos. 

Shame Scotland cannot just declare independence.  Actually even better can England declare and then the Celtic Nation remenant of the UK can revoke Article 50. 

 

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Bit of a shitshow isn't it? But it's progress. Politicians have almost agreed what they don't want from Brexit, and now they just have to decide what they do want. So we'll be leaving the EU sometime next century. Well it's an awful idea anyway. People from left and right voted to leave for different reasons, and they all think Brexit will turn the country into whatever they think it should be. The good old days! Back before there were people with funny tints who spoke different languages and you could leave your door unlocked and beat your children. It is mostly xenophobia and racism though. Yeah national sovereignty, but it's a price you pay for joining the club - you have to reach common agreement on some things, and the club is composed of democratic nations who respect human rights, so it's not like they're making us process people to make soylent green. But I like bendy bananas!

It would be betraying the sacred democratic decision of the people to hold another vote. Nope. This whole deadlock is due to nobody understanding what Brexit means. Staying was just going on the same while leaving is... I don't fucking know, but less foreigners. But that's just patronising remoaner talk. To suggest that people didn't know what they were voting for - how patronising to the British public, who are all experts on the EU and it's economic and social influence. I think an important aspect of intelligence is being able to acknowledge your own ignorance. Or, to put it another way - dumb fucks don't know how fucking dumb they are. I'm proud to say that I'm smart enough to know how fucking dumb I am.

There's no mandate for any deal, that's always been the problem. The ERG don't support this, but what the fuck do they want? Another vote would betray the people! But... if the people vote remain the second time, as is probably likely, that would be the people being betrayed by the people. Fucking duh! But maybe people wouldn't vote to remain, either way I don't see any way through this without another referendum.

It's all going to be fine! But stock up on tinned goods, cigarettes (they'll be our new currency after brexit) and meds just incase.

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54 minutes ago, Fluent In Silence said:

I think an important aspect of intelligence is being able to acknowledge your own ignorance. Or, to put it another way - dumb fucks don't know how fucking dumb they are. I'm proud to say that I'm smart enough to know how fucking dumb I am.

Nicely put.

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7 hours ago, Fluent In Silence said:

funny tints

Oh lord, keep this up and you could become a new 'Independent Group' party member.

Look, I don't know what everyone keeps panicking about. Either we leave with a deal or without one. Or there's an extension, or a general election or a second referendum or May's deal or Norway or no leaving at all or the ministry of silly walks or I guess just the complete collapse of civilisation. It's so simple.

Besides, we are forgetting what sets Britain apart from everyone else! What makes us great! That a small number of very influential people can gamble on our future and profit from it whilst we wrestle for scraps like pigs in mud. Pip pip

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14 hours ago, ananke said:

Oh lord, keep this up and you could become a new 'Independent Group' party member.

Look, I don't know what everyone keeps panicking about. Either we leave with a deal or without one. Or there's an extension, or a general election or a second referendum or May's deal or Norway or no leaving at all or the ministry of silly walks or I guess just the complete collapse of civilisation. It's so simple.

Besides, we are forgetting what sets Britain apart from everyone else! What makes us great! That a small number of very influential people can gamble on our future and profit from it whilst we wrestle for scraps like pigs in mud. Pip pip

Or was it tinge? I think it was and that's even better. I'm not a racist. Some of my best friends have a funny tinge. ?️ (Looking for facepalm emoji, found man in business suit levitating emoji) What the fuck though? Funny tinge? It was hilarious. If racists talked like that. "I believe in the supremacy of the white tinge." Yeah we're the superior tinge. White people aren't really white. I think we could solve racial divisions by being more accurate in our description of colours. White people are pinkish. Black people are brownish. Pink power! No-one wants to be Mr Pink or Mr Brown in Reservoir Dogs. Mr Pink sounds like Mr Pussy and Mr Brown sounds like Mr Shit, as they say in the film. So maybe we could move beyond such shit if we accurately described our skin colours.

Which has nothing to do with Brexit. Yep, we're British and we're great, in name if not in any other discernable way. Keep calm and carry on. We survived the blitz so we'll survive Brexit. If we can get through the Germans bombing us then we can get through leaving the EU. Sounds wonderful. Except nobody voted for the luftwaffe bombing campaign. That would be weird. If people voted for something which would damage their own country.

Oh I'm remoaning again. It's all going to be fine because the British public have spoken, and the British public are intelligent and informed, and we should abide by their collective wisdom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi7gSu9ePUc

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17 hours ago, ananke said:

Oh lord, keep this up and you could become a new 'Independent Group' party member.

Look, I don't know what everyone keeps panicking about. Either we leave with a deal or without one. Or there's an extension, or a general election or a second referendum or May's deal or Norway or no leaving at all or the ministry of silly walks or I guess just the complete collapse of civilisation. It's so simple.

Besides, we are forgetting what sets Britain apart from everyone else! What makes us great! That a small number of very influential people can gamble on our future and profit from it whilst we wrestle for scraps like pigs in mud. Pip pip

Add in the failing of the Good Friday Agreement and Scotland deciding to walk along with N. Ireland and well... 

and the GFA will fail spectacularly with a No Deal Brexit... 

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10 hours ago, helenllama said:

Add in the failing of the Good Friday Agreement and Scotland deciding to walk along with N. Ireland and well... 

and the GFA will fail spectacularly with a No Deal Brexit... 

I was going to continue being sarcastic and angry but it's just worrying and I fucking hate that we are so spectacularly pissing this up. Not at all fair. arghhhhhhh. Did we collectively hit our heads and forget the last, I don't know, 400 years of history? Didn't any substantial lessons sink in?

Like, for instance, not saying 'funny tinge' in public. Jesus wept. 

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