Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Am I a lazy, scared, asshole?


Recommended Posts

Hi there, one day old member so apologies if this is not the right place to post my questions. 

Quick background: I suffer from depression, anxiety and AD(H)D. I have been on depression and anxiety meds for several years now. I am 44 years old, male and married with a 9 y/o.

Q1: I have felt guilty about being lazy for as long as I can remember. It takes me a lot to get going on any task, more so, if it triggers some of my issues (e.g. I am supposed to be starting my job search but have been putting it off.) Combination of fear and inertia. Am I a lazy coward?

Q2: I have kept hearing from my therapist(s) and my wife over the years that I need to "get out of my own head" and "think beyond myself". I have been advised to go volunteer to see that "I am not the only one suffering" and that it will help give me some purpose. I will be the first to admit that every time such a thought to go help someone else, or donate to cause or something like that comes up, I say "Fuck it. I have no money, I have issues and so I am not obligated to help anyone." I know this is a terrible attitude. Am I an asshole, deep down?

Please help! Thank you!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think labeling yourself in this way is helpful. That's depressive thinking. Instead of assigning negative labels to yourself, look at what behaviors you want to change and think about if it's possible to change them.

I really enjoyed my time volunteering at homeless shelters. Without the resources I have I could very well be a homeless mentally ill person myself so it seemed only fair to give back what I could. That's how I look at it ...

Do you think your meds are working?

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you both for your replies (I haven't figured out yet how to reply separately :-)

Juniper29: My depression med (60mg Cymbalta) has definitely alleviated some of my depression. As I like to think of it, I am no longer in a hole - just at the surface :-) I am on Propranolol for anxiety and I know that isn't doing anything. My doc has prescribed Clonazopam for me, but I've been in on the the past and it made me very sleepy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, vaarta said:

Thank you both for your replies (I haven't figured out yet how to reply separately :-)

Juniper29: My depression med (60mg Cymbalta) has definitely alleviated some of my depression. As I like to think of it, I am no longer in a hole - just at the surface :-) I am on Propranolol for anxiety and I know that isn't doing anything. My doc has prescribed Clonazopam for me, but I've been in on the the past and it made me very sleepy!

I switched over from Effexor to Cymbalta but haven't had any luck with the depression side being lifted....glad it's working for you.

Do you take the brand or generic?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree that these things are common experiences, and they don't mean that you are lazy or an asshole.

On 12/12/2018 at 5:10 PM, vaarta said:

"Fuck it. I have no money, I have issues and so I am not obligated to help anyone."

This sounds like a completely reasonable way to feel, but I think it's important to consider what actions you take based on it. One possible outcome of that thought is that you don't donate/volunteer/etc. Is that the correct choice for you? It depends on a lot of things. You could experience some mental health benefits from doing it and if you choose not to you will miss out on that potential benefit. Maybe you have a different way to use that time that would have greater effect and so you choose that over this. Maybe under current conditions you just can't do it and the best thing is to not make yourself feel guilty. Maybe the feeling that you can't isn't accurate and if you challenged it then you could increase your options. There are lots of possibilities that could be good in different ways, but I think it's important to consider them because your default reaction might not be the best option

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I totally get the inertia. I’m bad about that too, I’m easily overwhelmed. One thing that helps are lists, and I am a list maker. Your job searching could be broken down into doable parts, even tiny doable parts, and for me anyway, checking something off the list as I go along is motivating. 

I’ve heard before that truly lazy people never believe they’re lazy. So if you’re questioning it, you’re likely not. Depression sucks, big time. How ordinary people go about their day is sometimes monumental and impossible for us. 

Getting out of your head is good advice, ruminating about how depressed you are is never helpful. Easy to say, but not easy to do. I don’t have any other advice than those who have responded above. 

Meds are a huge part, it might be time to switch things up? Sometimes it takes a long while to find the right combo, but it’s possible. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/17/2018 at 11:43 AM, vaarta said:

BrianOCD, I am sorry for not responding earlier. Just been in a massive funk- my depression seems to be back., I am on generic (duloxetine 60mg). I don't think it's really helping.

Cymbalta can be increased much higher. It worked very well for me for a couple of years. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/20/2018 at 3:46 PM, DammitJanet said:

Cymbalta can be increased much higher. It worked very well for me for a couple of years. 

I went up to 120mg which seems to at least be having an impact, hopefully in a week or so I'll be feeling more like myself!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...