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No mania No voices

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OK so I've been sticking it out here at my moms house at 33 years old. Now I'm being forced back into a rehab that I don't need for a straight year. Worse than that this place is playing with their b-66 diddies and saying I can possibly not be accepted. Oh and on top of this my mom is always listening to God. On TV. As if God can solve my financial problems, my health problems,the fact that I can't stand my life to the point where I'm practically laughing at myself. This whole thing is confusing as well because I'm high on top of this but yet I can't get ssdi because I don't meet said criteria. I've been looking for a 9-5 in this Spanish shithole for the past 6 months. I get tremors just thinking about it. I hate my life, my therapist, my psychiatrist, my mom, everyone in this shit life. I personally could care less if I get shot in the head tomorrow and I would like to document this.

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Depression combined with anxiety can really work a number on you.  I have a hard time dis-believing the shit my brain tells me when that combo hits me.  I've been stuck at mom's before and let's just say the situation was less than optimal.  I've got no life affirming bon motts for you, but can only tell you that I hear you and urge you not to give up.  If struggle is all you've got, then that's where you put in the work.  You can do this.

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