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If you can't laugh at yourself, what can you laugh at, right?

I went to the grocery store this evening. Down the 3rd or 4th isle, I realized my purse wasn't in the cart anymore. Shit. I knew I had turned my back on it a few times, so I was certain it had gotten stolen.

But being the ADD goof that I am, I went out to my car first. Because at least once or twice I've thought I lost something when I never actually had it with me in the first place. But on the way out to the car, I distinctly remembered touching the outside pocket of my purse and noticing my cell phone wasn't there and deciding to leave it (the cell phone) in the car. I checked anyway. No purse. But at least I still had my cell phone.

Back to the store to report the stolen purse. I described it in great detail to 3-4 ladies working at the service counter. One of them went and checked the waste baskets in the restrooms. The manager said she'd stand at the front door and watch people as they were leaving and told me to walk around the store and see if anyone had it.

Well... I found my purse. In the produce department. Right in the cart where I left it. At some point, I turned around and took someone else's cart. I don't know which feeling was stronger - relief or utter embarrassment.

Wait... it gets better.

I sheepishly go back and tell the 3-4 very nice ladies what happened and we all have a good chuckle. Thank god I hadn't yet given them my name and address! I go about the rest of my shopping, pay, and head back to the car.

When I get to the car, I grabbed my purse first. It feels way too light. Yep... my wallet was at the cashier counter.

Wanna bet they're all still laughing their asses off? I certainly am!

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Ha. Fortunately it was one I rarely go to - by my girlfriend's house in Rochester.

It's a really good thing that I've learned not to care so much what other people think. I'm certain they think I'm a complete ditz. But in the big scheme of things, who care?! At least we all got a good laugh out of it.

It kinda reminds me of the time last year when I was setting up for a silent charity auction at work and asked the security guy if he had an extension cord. He asked, "How long?" And I answered... "Err..... for the afternoon?" Du-oh!

Maybe I shouldn't tell people these stories. But they are just too funny not to share.

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Ha. Fortunately it was one I rarely go to - by my girlfriend's house in Rochester.

Maybe I shouldn't tell people these stories. But they are just too funny not to share.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tell! Tell! You affirm my daily existence and make me feel like less of a freak. What you described is MY LIFE (as you know it.)

It's frustrating when things actually do get lost (of course, never stolen! Doh!), like money and stuff, then I get sad that I'm such a flake.

S9

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I've amazingly never permanently lost my purse and even more amazingly, it's never been stolen. I regularly leave it in dressing rooms. But I eventually notice I'm missing it and usually remember where I left it, and it's always been there when I go back. Luck o'the Irish, I guess.

In other news, I found my glasses. I lost them sometime over the Christmas holiday. They were under the bedside table in the spare bedroom... which is where I always wrap the Christmas presents. I was positive they were in a dressing room somewhere.

Edited to add: I posted the purse story on my blog. Those of you who remember Nick Post will appreciate the comment he left: "I will actually give you kudos for this story.  And I've never given kudos before.  I also think this magical tale should be made into a short clay animation film."

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Edited to add: I posted the purse story on my blog. Those of you who remember Nick Post will appreciate the comment he left: "I will actually give you kudos for this story.  And I've never given kudos before.  I also think this magical tale should be made into a short clay animation film."

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Didn't he just make a recent cameo appearance? Or maybe it was Nick Danger, and if you know who that is, your OLD and you've smoked way too much weed...lol

One time I left my purse in grocery store parking lot 30 miles from where I work. I had run an important errand in an adjacent town and I had a lot of cash (something I hardly ever do, for this very ADD'led reason). So, I drive by the grocery store, I'm on company time, I think, "Hey, I'll run in and grab some supplies." Which I did. Get to work, no purse. $300.00 is the purse. Can you say, "what the fuck is WRONG with her?" freaking out on the phone calling the grocery store. It was there, with the cash thanks to a kindly grandma.

But I too, have always been the recipient of grace with my purse. I've lost it a bunch of times, but I never really have anything to lose in it, because I KNOW what can happen. I don't use credit cards, and my driver's license, bfd. To a normal person losing a purse with a driver's license and debit and insurance cards might be the end of the world. To me, it's bidness as usual. Not really, but unless I sustain a tragic loss, like at Christmas, when I lost a Hot Topic bag with $150.00 worth of tshirts in it, I don't get bummed. Why get bummed? It's like you said, "if you can't laugh about it." The lost merchandise is still not funny.

Oh, and I always find my debit card immediately after I cancel it. That is a Sod's Law that never fails for me.

I drive my kids bananas. Keys? Check. Purse? Check. Sunglasses? Check. Gloves? Them: "where'd ya leave 'em <heavy sighs>", me, "fuck the gloves, let's go, WE'RE LATE!!!" BTW, because I have joint problems gloves are a big deal and because they're a big deal and I have ADD I have a bunch of gloves, but do you think I have a pair of those suckers together, ever?? And the Dr. Seuss leftie with the Leopard print rightie just doesn't send out the message of "cool" I'm goin' for!

LOL...add'led fo' sho'.

S9

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I take stuff to cashier, pay, and start to walk out without the goods. Often.

Somehow I'm lucky and have only lost my wallet once. (Stolen once as well, but that's different. And no question, because they took it off me.)

Just found a hobby project I'd lost for a month or so. It was small and fragile, so I'd been protecting it with a soft CD carrier. Which was sitting in plain view on top of my turntable.

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I take stuff to cashier, pay, and start to walk out without the goods. Often.

Almost everytime I shop, or, I don't present my payment and the clerk looks at me blankly, items bagged, etc., Me: "OH, YOU want to be paid!" Duh.

I find this to be a big part of the problem for me, I am chatty cathy at the checkout unless I'm really depressed. Chatty Cathy is the one with ADD, S9 is the depressed one.  Meh, with either frame of mind, I find if I approach the store knowing my wallet is in my purse, my debit card in my wallet, leave my purse (which is actually a messenger bag) on my PERSON, and approach the checking out process consciously mindful of all my scatteredness--don't engage in conversations at length with anyone around me--I can usually make my transaction and get out of the store with my purse, debit card (because I'm being PURPOSEFULLY mindfull, I've put it back in my wallet instead of throwing it into my purse), load the groceries, double check the cart, especially the bottom, for left bags, cartons, etc., I do okay. But what a fucking chore.

Day before yesterday, I was at the store and wandered off from my cart, asked the sales lady where something was, and resumed shopping with a cart the store had left with items to be restocked, oblivious that MY cart was 3 aisles over--with my purse in it, until I looked down and saw the blow dryer in the basket.  :) I didn't get a blow dryer...panic! Typical.

Just found a hobby project I'd lost for a month or so. It was small and fragile, so I'd been protecting it with a soft CD carrier. Which was sitting in plain view on top of my turntable.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow, a turntable. I remember those.... ;)

All my platters are long gone. When CD's came out, I said, "wheeeeeeeeeee!"

But the nostalgia of nice big album art, album liners, etc., I miss that.

Happy remembering,

S9

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When taking the train to my friend the other day (the same train I took to school for a year), I got off at the station. I called my friend to tell her to come meet me. So far so good.

Only that when I called my friend I noticed that the station looked a bit different. Weird. When I looked at the sign it was of course the wrong station.

Now, the train goes every 20 minutes. So yeah, 20 minutes in the freezing swedish winter doing nothing. Yay.

It doesn't beat your story though, but can I be number 2? ;)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Once I forgot a job interview. I came in the next day, expecting to have my interview then. They informed me it was the wrong day. I rescheduled for the next day.

Next day arrives. I arrive. They come and take me to the interview room. I get out my resume. I look it over and realize that I DID THESE THINGS ??!! I had no idea what i had done in my career! I couldn't answer their questions without referring to my resume! They'd ask me things and I'd have to admit "I don't know, let me get back to you on that", and I'd write it down in my notes.

I did not get the job. Somehow, I think I bombed. LOL

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