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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

Edited by Simba Cub

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7,8,9.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To score some eggstasy.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To assassinate the Colonel and make him pay for his crimes against chickenkind.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He had business to take care of, and a chicken's got to do what a chicken's got to do. Have you ever seen a chicken with an Uzi? Cock-a-doodle-doo mother fuckers!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other fucking side. To see his accountant.

 

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads, without having their motives questioned

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This is a true story, but has the makings of a great joke:

I watched a video about bad counsellors recently and a counsellor was quoted:

"My client has avoid spider personality disorder"
" . . . ? I'm not sure that's a personality disorder. . ."
"Oh yes, it must be, she just avoids spiders instead of ants"

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What is brown and sticky?

 

A stick

 

 

How do you tell a boy shark from a girl shark?

You give it a fish. If he eats it, it's a boy, if she eats it, it's a girl

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(Obviously ideally voiced, not written)

 

Knock knock

Who's there?

Interrupting cow

Interru....

MOO!

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On 1/5/2019 at 8:14 PM, Fluent In Silence said:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

To get to the oth-

<Semi truck zooms past>

- Never mind.

 

[and with apologies to Confused, because I just used this one in a comment in her blog:]

If you have an "accident" in your shorts, what are they called?

Dungarees.

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-What did the two oceans say when they met?

-Nothing. They just waved.

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3 minutes ago, Gearhead said:

-What did the two oceans say when they met?

-Nothing. They just waved.

what did one carrot say to the other?

nothing, carrots can't talk

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Which mythological creature casts no reflection in a mirror?

All of them.

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