AirMarshall Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 (edited) If you are thinking of suicide, please read just this one page: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ A.M. Edited March 14, 2006 by AirMarshall 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catnapper Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Air Marshall - Thanks for posting that page from what I've found to be a useful website. The bad part is that I have had to use it so many times. Of all the things I've read about suicide, here is the statement that made the most sense to me, even at my lowest moments, and it's from that site: Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjm Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 this is a great link. thank you so much for posting it A.M. i just hope i won't have to use it too many times, but i've already been there on three or four occasions. but its of great use. makes a lot of sense, even when you're down and out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Elvis Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 It is. Note that it suggests you call 1-800-suicide. We suggest you try any of the numbers at http://www.befrienders.org/ instead. Here's why 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted December 11, 2006 Author Share Posted December 11, 2006 Well, It is unfortunate that this guy Gilbert ended up with medical bills he wasn't planning for. 90% of what he complains about is bullshit. The fucker knoweth not of what he talks. The rest of his immature little story carries no weight. Consider this: A trained counselor takes a call from a guy named Gilbert who will not promise that he won't kill himself. (help me on the logic here, VE) Therefore, she must assume that he is a real risk for suicide. So, following the prudential rule to protect the caller from death, and herself and organization from liability from failure to perform their function she calls the police, and does everthing to keep the caller occupied until the locals can take over. Sound pretty damn reasonable. The police take him to a hospital (he didn't get his choice...waw). Licensed doctors determine that he needs observation, thereby validating the phone counselors judgement. Sounds pretty damn reasonable. Gilbert may be embarrased, angry, properly evaluated, and in debt, but he got reasonable, legal handling and he is alive to bitch about it. One pissed off idiot doesn't condemn the whole hotline. a.m. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Elvis Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Google around. You'll find hundreds of similar stories. They bottom line is that they have a moral obligation to protect confidentially if people are going to trust them and they don't. I happen to know the guy. That thread is from usenet forum where I used to pretty active. You'll note that he said he thought he considered their fairlure to keep their word a sit. He was never asked to promise not to kill himself. He simply refused to answer questions which under the baker act could be used to involuntary commit him because he didn't want to tell a lie because that's the kind of person he is. Sometimes calling the cops on a suicide person is the right thing to do. They err on the side of caution way way too many times. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie_not_chuck Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 Hm. I don't know how 1800Suicide works but I work at the Women's Shelter in my area and work the crisis line. When we have a suicidal caller, our job is to listen, to suggest that they get help very quickly and to help them see that suicide is permanent, pain is not, and help can be found. If they have an instrument to kill themselves with, we see if they can put it in another room, or put it away. We ask if they would like us to call 911, or if they would like to. We ask if they would go to the ER so they can get the help they need. We ask them if they can have a friend come by or if they can go to a public place and try to talk light with someone. Something we do NOT do is call the police without their permission UNLESS we feel that the person absolutely WILL kill themselves (calling a crisis line is calling for help, saying that maybe they don't want to kill themselves) and we cannot do this unless they give us their full address (normally we ask just for county of residence). If the person has given us their address and then says they are in danger of hurting themselves or of being hurt or witnessing someone hurt someone else we ask or tell them that we are going to call the police. We can't do that unless we have an address though. Cops around here can't trace calls, we can look them up in a reverse phone book, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meg Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Thanks for posting that page from what I've found to be a useful website. The bad part is that I have had to use it so many times. Of all the things I've read about suicide, here is the statement that made the most sense to me, even at my lowest moments, and it's from that site: Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead. are you my twin? I feel the same exact way about that site...I'm so glad it's there but it stinks how well I know it from reading it so many times. That line that you pulled from it is the line that always gets me too. I try to keep that in my mind if I'm ever feeling that low. I'm not an online (or real life) hugging type but ((hugs)) because you just said exactly what I was about to, and that's one of the reasons I'm learning to love these boards so much. meg 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EchoEchoEcho Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 If you are thinking of suicide, please read just this one page: [link=http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/"'>http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/" target="_blank]http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/[/link] A.M. thank you A.M. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormy2 Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 catnapper and meg i love that phrase too! I have never heard of it before now thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meg Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 so it was April 2007 last time I posted on this thread and I still have this site on my bookmarks-- and it'll stay there even though I haven't needed it in years. I've passed it on to several friends as well and intend to bring another friend to it tonight. It seems so recently that I sat on my dorm room bed in the dark and read it over and over trying to sob quietly so as not to wake my roommate-- God, I was in so much pain. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, ever, and I'm sorry so many of us have to go through it-- But I'm still here, and I guess I just wanted to post again since I'm over a year into 'remission' now and didn't think (no, I thought I KNEW) that it wasn't possible back when I needed that link. but it is and I'm very glad I'm here to post and pass it on. guess that's all- I hope you don't mind me posting this here, I just felt like I needed to. m ps- just like I always have this link bookmarked, I also always have a hotline like the ones discussed above programmed into my cell phone as the letter 'Z' so only I know what it is. Z is the very end and at the bottom of the alphabet, so it's not like I'll ever forget what number it stands for in my phone. I've never needed to use it, but it's good to know it's there especially if I'm casting about my contact list trying to figure out who to call and need another option. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 Thanks Meg for the comments. It makes the effort here worthwhile. I have read that one page many times. a.m. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryp Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 That page has saved me a few times as well. The tone is just right - warm without being condescending or anything. It always makes me feel better when I'm in the Pit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbobbin Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I found this forum after a very serious suicide overdose in Oct. 09. I call it very serious because I've done the barely enough to do harm/I'll show you/ fake suicide years ago. This time it was for keeps. But it wasn't! Strange how I now think of it as before the end and after the end...I'll get over that. I knew I would not have to deal anymore. Amazed still that-nothing mattered at the time. MY point- I feel so guilty, that's probably good-but I also deal with rapid cycling BP amongst others crap-and the guilt sends me into a tail spin. I'm embarrassed. I don't remember any of it after passing out and waking in ICU 2 days later on respirator-then the shame. All the people who worked so hard to save me-when I had worked so hard to die-I am in debt to persons I've no clue whom they are. and wonder if they are disgusted with me for wanting to die. My psych ask alot now for me to say 'I'd never again' and I'd like to-but life is long and it is a real threat for me now. Coping skill only work sometimes. I'm better now-lots of meds, but that is depressing as well-what if's. So anyway-I come here and read-don't post much-come here and cry! Thanks guys 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdbee Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain." What if the only resources you haven't tapped in to are the one's that cost money. And you're poor. How do you access them? I need intensive therapy. Can't afford it or even get the energy to look for someone. I need money. I can't work. I'm quite certain i'd qualify for SSDI but the thought of doing all that's required to get it give me so much anxiety I always give up. etc etc. If I had a social worker that would help greatly. Someone from a not for profit maybe. Someone who'd sit down and physically help me fill out a form for medicaid, say. Overall, I did like the link, but then reality kicks in and I realize that I can barely get out of my bed (when depressed- which is when i think about these things) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billyboyboo Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 Thanks for the link, I have been hospitalized 2 times for suicide attempts, the person above me says "When reality kicks in" "Hard to get out of bed" I agree to an extent. I have real bad Anxiety and sometimes Dillusions (spelling), it can get hard, but I live day by day, thanks for the link and read. Billy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baruch60610 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 When I worked on a crisis line, we had a firm policy of not calling the police unless the person passed out as we spoke, or otherwise seemed to indicate that a medical emergency was happening. There was always a presumption that a caller wasn't 100% in favor of suicide - otherwise, they wouldn't call. There was always that assumption that at least a tiny piece of the caller wanted to live, somehow. I think that many times when a phone worker calls the police, they're looking for some drama. In my experience, it is almost never necessary to call the police. The caller wants to live. S/he just wants the suffering to end. Usually a genuinely caring voice is enough to get them through. If they need to go to the hospital, this can almost always be a mutual decision, both the caller and the phone worker agreeing that this would be a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Elvis Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 Yeah, I posted that years ago. I think they have had some policy changes since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Entities Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 I wish the page went on forever and I could just keep reading it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terraview27 Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 It seems so recently that I sat on my dorm room bed in the dark and read it over and over trying to sob quietly so as not to wake my roommate-- God, I was in so much pain. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, ever, and I'm sorry so many of us have to go through it-- I just finished my first year of college with BP. There were many nights that I cried until I had no more tears. Unfortunately I had no idea what was wrong with me and I thought I was going crazy. I was having psychotic episodes, but I didn't know what they were and I thought I was losing my mind. I found this site this summer after I was officially diagnosed with BP and social anxiety (at school they told me I might have BP, but put me on prozac anyways, which actually did make me go crazy). I am so glad that I've found this. It really helps to not only know that I'm not the only one out there, but also to have a place to talk about issues in a lighthearted environment. Your comment really hit home for me... all those long nights wishing I was normal,,, I still have them almost every night. I just started Lamictal a month ago... I'm hoping it will kick in and help me before I have to go back to school.. I want to enjoy my life instead of struggling to survive it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTSD-35 Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 It is the realm of ones soul,I dig as deep as I can to dredge I glimmer of my past and it helps some for an instance.I'm going to keep trying with the hope that my ember will grow because I need the warmth back in my soul.I am a different person of self loathing but now and then I see some light,but one thing is for sure this is a real hurt.I have a new respect for anyone suffering as I this is as low as we go.Thanks for listening, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneMarie Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 (edited) It is the realm of ones soul,I dig as deep as I can to dredge I glimmer of my past and it helps some for an instance.I'm going to keep trying with the hope that my ember will grow because I need the warmth back in my soul.I am a different person of self loathing but now and then I see some light,but one thing is for sure this is a real hurt.I have a new respect for anyone suffering as I this is as low as we go.Thanks for listening, Even in the blackest night, the sun is always just beyond the horizon. Sorry if that sounds korny, but it is true. Even when your souls feel burnt and dead or wreathing in the worst pain, time does not stop and with that universal reality, you change, the pain eases, a prick light becomes visible and then shines more. The neurotransmitters fucking up at your receptor sites start messaging a little more normal. It is normal to grieve and feel remorse, JTSD. These feelings don't not last forever. Just, you know, don't choose to suffer in the worst way possible. Work with your pdoc to unwrap the depression from it. Edited October 12, 2010 by Stacia 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h3llo Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 life is something to be enjoyed, not constant pain. when it's constant pain, that's a warning sign that you need help, i suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I'm Steve Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 life is something to be enjoyed, not constant pain. when it's constant pain, that's a warning sign that you need help, i suppose. Just found this.. ..no matter what, I smile through the day. But, I am in constant pain. I don't know what to do as I have had very good psychiatric care. That hole in the soul cannot be medicated, I suppose 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirmy Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 really, have been just glancing over this and after reading it ,it is a big pill to swallow for I have been hospitalized quite a few times for attempted and just thinking of suicide and honestly the guilt from trying it almost is enough to drive you over the edge I'm glad I read this and I put the link in my favorites, I hope it helps others whom are burdened like me with this almost obsession to end it all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOT Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 (edited) . Edited March 20, 2013 by TOT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c- Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 It seems so recently that I sat on my dorm room bed in the dark and read it over and over trying to sob quietly so as not to wake my roommate-- God, I was in so much pain. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, ever, and I'm sorry so many of us have to go through it-- I just finished my first year of college with BP. There were many nights that I cried until I had no more tears. Unfortunately I had no idea what was wrong with me and I thought I was going crazy. I was having psychotic episodes, but I didn't know what they were and I thought I was losing my mind. I found this site this summer after I was officially diagnosed with BP and social anxiety (at school they told me I might have BP, but put me on prozac anyways, which actually did make me go crazy). I am so glad that I've found this. It really helps to not only know that I'm not the only one out there, but also to have a place to talk about issues in a lighthearted environment. Your comment really hit home for me... all those long nights wishing I was normal,,, I still have them almost every night. I just started Lamictal a month ago... I'm hoping it will kick in and help me before I have to go back to school.. I want to enjoy my life instead of struggling to survive it. ain't that the truth! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takemetospace Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 It's funny, because that website makes the reader go through it and try to talk them out of what they are about to do. What about those of us who are bipolar and partially psychotic, and actually want to kill ourselves? The last thing I want to do is fucking read through a god damn letter about why I should or shouldn't do something. When I'm in my "I want to die" mood it is never out of depression; it's always out of rage! Fuck you and your fucking attempt at keeping me alive, asshole. It's you and my fucking family that keep telling me I should not do it because 'life will get better' and 'you will hurt the ones you love if you do this'. FUCK THE ONES I LOVE! I live with this shit every day. How selfish are they to not let me be happy, so they can remain happy themselves? They don't want to face the pain of the death of a loved one, yet I am the one to hold all that pain in. FUCK everyone, and fuck the world. I wish we'd all die and go to hell. At least I have some experience there; I might be able to tolerate it much more than the average person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtclms Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Actually, your love ones would be shattered if you killed yourself, and their lives would be worsened significantly. Suicides blows families apart for generations after they happen, I have seen it. So if you do it, you will fuck all of them big time, plus you will never, ever have a chance to feel better. And feeling better is possible, even if it doesn't feel like it now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maybell Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 hmmm...I had a look at the original link, and it's basically a rip off of this one, which is one I found ages ago and I prefer it to the shortened/kinda cheesy one referred to in this thread. Having said that, anything that helps someone in their time of need is fine by me... http://areason.org/ @takemetospace I agree with you. When I'm suicidal due to despair/depression etc...then reading that kind of thing might help. But when I'm suicidal due to rage and I'm just so angry and I don't want to deal with this anymore...at that point, I've pretty much lost the ability to reason and reading something like that would likely make me more angry and resentful. I don't think there's anything that anyone could say at that point that would help...the only thing that helps is to either get the anger out such as crying (angrily), writing down my thoughts, kicking or hitting inanimate objects (the concrete fence outside my house has copped a fair bit of abuse), listening to really loud music, going for a walk (kinda have to as I get all agitated and can't sit still), using some of my emergency lorazepam stash to help calm me down etc... All those can help relieve a bit of the intense anger during those times, but the only thing that has really helped me has been to look at what is causing all that anger. Asking myself where is all this anger coming from? digging up all the dark reasons and feelings and dragging them into the light...it's painful, and slow, and it drains my energy so that I have to take frequent breaks away from it. But I have noticed since I've been addressing these things that my rages have reduced somewhat. I also get angry at my family...why should I have to suffer just so that they won't? I can't deny that they would suffer, because when my best friend killed himself, I saw exactly what it did to his family, and what it did to me. But it still seems so unfair. Sometimes I think that my brothers would be able to handle it better, so I promise myself that once my parents pass away, that I will be free to do it. But that's at least 20-25 years away...I know it's a horrible thing to think, but it does give me some comfort that I won't have to suffer like this FOREVER. And finally, there's my cat. She is the one good thing in my life that keeps me going. And when I think of her, I also think of the animals at the shelters where i volunteer...and I remember that there is some point to me being here. I doubt I've ever really bonded or will bond with anyone, as much as I do with animals. I like that animals don't lie to you. They are honest about whether they like you or not, they don't have hidden agendas, and you have to work to gain their trust and also to keep it. I like being around animals, and (unfortunately lol) I have to be alive to do that 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takemetospace Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Actually, your love ones would be shattered if you killed yourself, and their lives would be worsened significantly. Suicides blows families apart for generations after they happen, I have seen it. So if you do it, you will fuck all of them big time, plus you will never, ever have a chance to feel better. And feeling better is possible, even if it doesn't feel like it now. So who wins? Who has happiness at the expense of the other? Am I supposed to suffer because it's my duty to make my family happy for having me around? Even if they're miserable because I make them miserable, because they have to watch out for me all the time? Or can they take a god damn death and move on with their lives and not be a bigger pussy than I am. It makes me sick to hear my father tell me that suicide is 'the cowards way out'. As if he had any idea what I go through on a daily basis, and he's judging me? Then he has the 'right' to tell me that if I kill myself I'd be disrespecting my family. Like I give a flying shit about him or his guilt trip antics? Not directing it at you, crtclms, just raging over how my family treats my condition. i can't even isolate myself from them because they always find me.... it's like a prison I can't escape, and they promote this MI thing like it's no big deal and I should just 'get over it'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takemetospace Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 hmmm...I had a look at the original link, and it's basically a rip off of this one, which is one I found ages ago and I prefer it to the shortened/kinda cheesy one referred to in this thread. Having said that, anything that helps someone in their time of need is fine by me... http://areason.org/ @takemetospace I agree with you. When I'm suicidal due to despair/depression etc...then reading that kind of thing might help. But when I'm suicidal due to rage and I'm just so angry and I don't want to deal with this anymore...at that point, I've pretty much lost the ability to reason and reading something like that would likely make me more angry and resentful. I don't think there's anything that anyone could say at that point that would help...the only thing that helps is to either get the anger out such as crying (angrily), writing down my thoughts, kicking or hitting inanimate objects (the concrete fence outside my house has copped a fair bit of abuse), listening to really loud music, going for a walk (kinda have to as I get all agitated and can't sit still), using some of my emergency lorazepam stash to help calm me down etc... All those can help relieve a bit of the intense anger during those times, but the only thing that has really helped me has been to look at what is causing all that anger. Asking myself where is all this anger coming from? digging up all the dark reasons and feelings and dragging them into the light...it's painful, and slow, and it drains my energy so that I have to take frequent breaks away from it. But I have noticed since I've been addressing these things that my rages have reduced somewhat. I also get angry at my family...why should I have to suffer just so that they won't? I can't deny that they would suffer, because when my best friend killed himself, I saw exactly what it did to his family, and what it did to me. But it still seems so unfair. Sometimes I think that my brothers would be able to handle it better, so I promise myself that once my parents pass away, that I will be free to do it. But that's at least 20-25 years away...I know it's a horrible thing to think, but it does give me some comfort that I won't have to suffer like this FOREVER. And finally, there's my cat. She is the one good thing in my life that keeps me going. And when I think of her, I also think of the animals at the shelters where i volunteer...and I remember that there is some point to me being here. I doubt I've ever really bonded or will bond with anyone, as much as I do with animals. I like that animals don't lie to you. They are honest about whether they like you or not, they don't have hidden agendas, and you have to work to gain their trust and also to keep it. I like being around animals, and (unfortunately lol) I have to be alive to do that Sorry to hear you're going through the same thing I am. I realized a long time ago that I really don't care what anyone thinks. I'm not living because of my family; I really don't know why I keep going. I guess it's just the same routine, you know? Or that there isn't a gun in the house and cutting doesn't work (I pass out). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 @takemetospace: This is a support site. This is not a place where you can threaten suicide over the internet and get pissed at people who are trying to stop you. There are people here who genuinely want help. If you're looking for a place to rant, there are sections on this board for it [i.e. the People Suck board] or you can start a blog. Otherwise, stop trying to turn a post intended to help the vulnerable into your nihilistic soapbox. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Closure Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 (edited) takemetospace: You might not realize it, but some of the people here have been on both sides of the fence, so to speak, here. Someone I knew better than at least any of my classmates in high school killed himself while we were off at college (he went to a different school than me), and I was eventually told about it because I was apparently the closest person to him - even though it seemed very hesitant on the part of the tellers, as everyone I had much connection to already knew I was pretty sick, and it seemed like people were very unsure as to whether I should even be told. And what I can say is that after that I was just sad on top of my preexisting depression, and then was repeatedly just suddenly hit by pure darkness completely unexpectedly, which repeated itself over quite a period of time. And this was with someone who I honestly did not even expect to see again, except maybe at high school class reunions, rather than with, say, a family member. I still cannot help but specifically remember this at random moments, even though it has been quite a few years since then. What no one else knew, though, is that I had already made a suicide attempt earlier in school, which was aborted only because I lost confidence in that I would actually have a lethal dose of aspirin available (even though in hindsight I probably did have a lethal dose on hand), and hence did not want to make a needless trip to the hospital, and because even one mouthful was proving very hard to actually swallow. Even after that I tended to have quite a bit of suicidal ideation in school, until my high school friend's actual completed suicide, which mostly put a stop to that for a long time (even though it itself made my depression quite a bit worse). This was until the past couple years, where my symptoms became quite a bit more severe than before (until just recently) and my suicidality managed to come out again full force. This time, though, I have done my best to resist acting on my suicidal thoughts, despite how strong my impulses may be, with what effect I expected it to have on others be one of the few things actually keeping me alive (considering what effect the suicide of someone who I did not even expect to see much again had on me). Edited May 1, 2012 by Closure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whyLuna Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Is it considered suicidal thoughts if you know you're not going to act on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fromtheoutside Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 whyLuna- I think that would be called suicidal ideation. But that quickly can take a turn for the worse and become actively suicidal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Elvis Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Is it considered suicidal thoughts if you know you're not going to act on them. If you don't want to kill yourself but can't stop thinking about it, it could be OCD. If you'd be OK with dying, for example if you leave your seat belt off half the time while ignoring traffic laws, that can be considered being "passively suicidal." If you just think about suicide and go "yeah, that would be nice but it's not going to happen any time soon" that's suicidal ideation. I've waxed and waned in and out of various combinations of the three for 25 years. I've gotten pretty good at telling them apart. I'm sure there are other kinds of suicidal thought that go along with bipolar and schizophrenia that can't be as clearly defined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 Is it considered suicidal thoughts if you know you're not going to act on them. That is called "Suicidal Ideation". In other words, you are having thoughts about suicide. You may not have any intention, no plan. This might be an occasional thing, or you may have these as "intrusive thoughts" that keep coming to the fore, despite them being unwanted. It is not 'wrong' to have these thoughts. The significance to your pdoc is as an indicator of your your mental state. Something I learned from experience was that after being diagnosed and medicated that I was no longer scared or terrified by these thoughts and that sometimes I could make them go away. If I couldn't then I needed to call my pdoc for med adjustment. a.m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scatty Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Suicidal thoughts should eventually go away with the right treatment. I know suicide runs in my family- two aunts, two uncles, one grandparent have succeded in commiting suicide. Several other relatives have attempted, but not succeded. I really believe it can be inherited, mostly in my family due to bipolar, but in the past there was less treatment available. I know lithium has been around a while, but none of my relatives tried it. They suffered in silence until it was too much to bare. I am now on lithium for wanting to jump in front of a bus. I can't stress enough how that those who are considering suicide, to reach out for help. Call your family, friends, a crisis line, a suicide hotline, the samaritans- use all the resources available to you. I used to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I found that if I just ASK for help BEFORE the crisis point, others are willing to help me. Don't let pride stand in the way. Tell people you NEED HELP. The relatives I had who killed themselves, I believe, could have been saved by some support. REACH OUT! My aunt killed herself when I was out of state when I was 12 years old, and I was closer to her than I was to my own mother. I think of her all the time and know if she had reached out, she could have been saved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maybell Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Dammit....I just wrote a really heartfelt reply to a post from someone who was talking about taking his own life, and then the thread got deleted (yeah, yeah, I know he was kinda trolling). I don't want my reply to be wasted so I'm putting it here, maybe it will help someone else who is at that point. ------ I see from your profile that you are a young man, and I'm sorry that you are in so much pain right now. I have struggled with mental illness and wanting to end my life for a long time. I have felt like a drain on the taxpayer too...but most taxpayers are also parents too, who would not want to lose their child to suicide, or cancer or drink driving, or any multitude of things that our taxes go towards preventing. It's not a waster. YOU are not a waste. However I don't see debating the values of economic benefits as being relevant at all to the decision to take your life. People, animals...we are worth more than just a dollar value. I also feel like a drain on the taxpayer because I am not well enough to work. But I've found reasons to keep going, for me it is in volunteering and advocating for the welfare of unwanted animals. If that is all I can ever do with my life, then that is enough to keep me going It might be something different for you. I hope that you can reach out to someone and get some help to recover. You don't know where life may lead you...if you are able to hold on, and ask for help (and I know how fucking hard it is to do that) then in ten years you might be able to give another young person some advice, or a helping hand...and be the difference in that person's life. It may be hard to believe, but a lot of what you are saying and feeling right now is your mental illness talking...and sometimes it will take medication and therapy to silence the mental illness enough that you will be able to hear your own voice. Maybe there's a little part of you that has always wanted to travel to Argentina, or fly a kite over the Grand Canyon, I don't know. Please reach out to someone. Every life is has value 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokendishes Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has ever worked the crisis line. As someone with severe, debilitating depression it's incredibly comforting to know that people are out there who actually care and can empathize. I've called my local battered women's shelter because it's part of the crisis line...They were very nice and listened to me. I wasn't near ready for an exit plan, but I felt close to needing to be hospitalized--and they listened and understood. So from this crazylady, thank you so much for your kindness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DontLookAway Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 What are the crisis lines like? I've never mustered up enough courage to call one when suicidal. I have phone anxiety and it scares the shit out of me to call a crisis line. I don't know what to expect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hagar Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 (edited) What are the crisis lines like? I've never mustered up enough courage to call one when suicidal. I have phone anxiety and it scares the shit out of me to call a crisis line. I don't know what to expect. There are also suicide crisis chat networks, which I could see myself using, unlike the phone lines (I have phone anxiety too). Here is one of them which I happen to have bookmarked, but I know there are many more out there: https://www.imalive.org/ eta: That one I linked to is allegedly staffed entirely by volunteers who are trained in crisis intervention- if you end up using a different one, I would make sure it says somewhere on the site that the people who run it are trained and/or certified to do so. Edited January 6, 2014 by hagar running Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DontLookAway Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 What are the crisis lines like? I've never mustered up enough courage to call one when suicidal. I have phone anxiety and it scares the shit out of me to call a crisis line. I don't know what to expect. There are also suicide crisis chat networks, which I could see myself using, unlike the phone lines (I have phone anxiety too). Here is one of them which I happen to have bookmarked, but I know there are many more out there: https://www.imalive.org/ eta: That one I linked to is allegedly staffed entirely by volunteers who are trained in crisis intervention- if you end up using a different one, I would make sure it says somewhere on the site that the people who run it are trained and/or certified to do so. Oh yeah, I forgot about that site. I've used it before. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enduranceessential Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 It seems recently that I am waging a mental battle between visions of the future with no depression and thoughts of "peace" now through an untimely death. I know I must stay alive to feel whole again.Relief will come if we find ways to survive each day.Thanks everyone for your comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Jimmy Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 (edited) The Samaritans for me only listen..'I don't want you to fucking listen, I want you to help me'. If I go to A&E, they'll just send me home...because that's what they do. They make promises that I'm going to get help which is utter bullshit, because my mental health team is on the border of malpractice. I never get help. No one takes me seriously. Last time I was suicidal I took 120 pills of paracetamol and almost died, but because I was under 18, people gave a fuck. Edited September 10, 2015 by StJimmy9151 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 The Samaritans for me only listen..'I don't want you to fucking listen, I want you to help me'. If I go to A&E, they'll just send me home...because that's what they do. They make promises that I'm going to get help which is utter bullshit, because my mental health team is on the border of malpractice. I never get help. No one takes me seriously. Last time I was suicidal I took 120 pills of paracetamol and almost died, but because I was under 18, people gave a fuck. Do you want to go to chat? Someone there may have an idea. I am in the US and don't know what to say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enduranceessential Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 St. Jimmy, it sounds like you are dealing with utter frustration as well as the depression. I wish it wasn't so.Who can you complain to about the mental health team to get resolution?Can you go to their superiors?Is there anyplace to "walk in" separate from the mental health team and speak to someone in person?Please don't do anything sudden or permanent. Wishing you peace and strength... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtclms Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Endurance, maybe you are in the UK, but if you are not, the UK's mental health care is hardly there. There have been members here in the UK who have been left manic or depressed for months. His healthcare team may have higher ups, but the healthcare team is going to be believed by those higher ups, not the patient. Anything is possible I suppose. But this is a pattern we see again and again on CBs.I've always wanted to live in the UK. But I don't now, after seeing how bad their mental health care is. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enduranceessential Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I didn't know that. I'm sorry to hear it. I hope there will be another positive solution that avails itself somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Jimmy Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Well they say a desperate man will be desperate.Yesterday noon I got really drunk and made an attempt on my life by gashing my wrists in my room. One of the people that work at the semi-independent placement came in because I didn't answer and I got rushed into hospital. I was given some blood and I have 23 stitches now. But again they send me home...at least this time with high intervention, so I get seen daily. I'm trying to get a second opinion doctor asap, the crisis team have been pushing me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enduranceessential Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Damn. At least it seems like you will get more help now. They better pay attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Well they say a desperate man will be desperate.Yesterday noon I got really drunk and made an attempt on my life by gashing my wrists in my room. One of the people that work at the semi-independent placement came in because I didn't answer and I got rushed into hospital. I was given some blood and I have 23 stitches now. But again they send me home...at least this time with high intervention, so I get seen daily. I'm trying to get a second opinion doctor asap, the crisis team have been pushing me. So Sorry this happened. You shouldn't have to go to such lengths before your care providers take notice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Right Honourable Jimmy Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Well they say a desperate man will be desperate.Yesterday noon I got really drunk and made an attempt on my life by gashing my wrists in my room. One of the people that work at the semi-independent placement came in because I didn't answer and I got rushed into hospital. I was given some blood and I have 23 stitches now. But again they send me home...at least this time with high intervention, so I get seen daily. I'm trying to get a second opinion doctor asap, the crisis team have been pushing me. So Sorry this happened. You shouldn't have to go to such lengths before your care providers take notice.I didn't do it for them to take notice....if I was going to do that I wouldn't have been bleeding to deathWhat I meant is I've been that miserable and fed up about life in general that I was desperate and played Russian roulette with my wrists. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Well they say a desperate man will be desperate.Yesterday noon I got really drunk and made an attempt on my life by gashing my wrists in my room. One of the people that work at the semi-independent placement came in because I didn't answer and I got rushed into hospital. I was given some blood and I have 23 stitches now. But again they send me home...at least this time with high intervention, so I get seen daily. I'm trying to get a second opinion doctor asap, the crisis team have been pushing me. So Sorry this happened. You shouldn't have to go to such lengths before your care providers take notice.I didn't do it for them to take notice....if I was going to do that I wouldn't have been bleeding to deathWhat I meant is I've been that miserable and fed up about life in general that I was desperate and played Russian roulette with my wrists. I didn't mean to suggest you did it to get attention. I've just seen how you've been struggling and how your doctors haven't been of much help. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enduranceessential Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Something I learned when I was first suicidal is "you never know". Life could continue to go the way you think it will when most depressed (a completely skewed outlook), or it could change drastically for the better in terms of circumstances and how you feel. I was so glad and grateful later that I didn't succeed in ending things. I hope you get the help soon that you need to stick around and see what happens.Peace... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lookslikerain Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 The only thing that keeps me from suicide is the knowledge that I don't always feel like that. In that moment, I am so desperate that it seems like the only option but I know also that it will pass. It might take weeks though, and it really fucking wears me down. I've resisted emergency care in the past but the next time I probably won't. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.id Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 May I add this to the list of helpful sites I could not find it in any other post http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/02/24/suicide-when-it-hurts-too-much-to-live/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenTea Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Sometimes, but would never do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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