Loon-A-TiK Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 hi- I post a lot, so you all know about what's going on wtih me. I'm in a mixed state from hell and breaking my pdoc and tdoc's orders by working so I can feel myself. I am a contractor with no benefits and no job security. Every day at work could be my last day at work. And that's how I'm feeling about life. I'm learning my job so slow because I can't concentrate, can't think, can't react. I just panic all the time and think about how I'd like to suffocate myself If I go to the hospital, it will be the 4th time in a year. I want to stay out. I want to keep working. If I go, I'll lose my job and be worse off. Or better off? Who knows? Do you ever WISH and PRAY for a hypo/mania? In my opinion, my manias are a reaction to traumatic life events, and usually a backlash against my first reaction of depression. I'm wishing so hard for a mania. In the meantime, I'm taking a very strong AD combo and hoping to salvage the situation... Please, help me stay out of the hospital. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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