Depression without despair and sadness...

[yellowlovesgray]

I can’t decide if I’m being lazy or if I’m still depressed.

I took Adderal, Clonazapam and different ssri’s the last decade and was forced to withdraw last year.

 

for the first time in the last 10 years I feel a lack of despair, hopelessness and sadness. It’s consistent too. And I don’t “worry” about things.

but that’s what concerns me. I can’t be bothered to work (I’m self employed), do even really basic things or do anything physical for “fun.” I just lay around and sleep all day and watch Hulu.

I bought a bike and was so excited sorta about it coming but I can’t bringmyself to ride it.

I mean that’s still depression isn’t it? Or is it not?

im literally confused about how normal life and functionality works without meds. I’m exhausted. No desire to work and I’m a workaholic with a fun creative job. I’m being a teeny bit social after not doing so for years and that’s good.

but I don’t feel like this lack of give a damn and motivation is normal. It’s like I’m just apathetic to everything but I’m blinded by how chill I am. Thoughts?

 

 

[argh]

I had that early this year. To me it was sort of a very lowgrade mild depression. Made a med adjustment with my pdoc and have been good since.

Enjoy a break from the despair and sadness. I know I sure as hell did

[yellowlovesgray]

I’m so grateful and in love with that part. I just can’t work and I need to get back to it. ? I’m self employed and having trouble just getting started again.

[argh]

I had to get back on a regular sleep schedule and exercise schedule to help sort that out somewhat. granted you mentioned your bike,  which is exercise. Unfortunately it is all a matter of just doing it. I haven't felt like exercise in a while but Everytime I do it, I do get a fair mood boost. I'm to the point where it is starting to get regular again and really it came from just forcing myself. Now my headspace was more along the lines of I didn't feel like it versus I just can't. To be fair I'm not completely out of it...but working my way out slowly.

Seasonal affective disorder? The amount of light out as well as temperature makes a huge difference for me. Even a few degrees or sunlight through the window makes a massive difference.

[yellowlovesgray]

True, I keep trying to force myself to work but when I sit down I just cannot focus. Like to the point where I don’t know how to do what I do almost. And I’m actually really skilled at it, but I open software I’m certified with and have used for my entire adult life and nothing makes sense. Like it’s almost painful to try to untangle and sort out.

I do think a huge part of it is my ADD but the non drum meds just do not work for me and make me nauseous and it’s become really hard to get stimulants here. Argh.

[CrazyRedhead]

9 hours ago, yellowlovesgray said:

 I do think a huge part of it is my ADD but the non drum meds just do not work for me and make me nauseous and it’s become really hard to get stimulants here. Argh.

Would it be possible to ask your doc about trying Strattera?......It is the only adult ADD/ADHD drug that is not classified  as a controlled substance--it has been approved by the FDA for ADD/ADHD......As of 2017, it became available as a generic.

Just mentioning that because it might be easier for you to get, since it's not a control.......Also, sometimes Wellbutrin is used off-label to treat symptoms of ADD/ADHD.

Edited February 27 by CrazyRedhead

[yellowlovesgray]

On 2/27/2019 at 9:23 AM, CrazyRedhead said:

Would it be possible to ask your doc about trying Strattera?......It is the only adult ADD/ADHD drug that is not classified  as a controlled substance--it has been approved by the FDA for ADD/ADHD......As of 2017, it became available as a generic.

Just mentioning that because it might be easier for you to get, since it's not a control.......Also, sometimes Wellbutrin is used off-label to treat symptoms of ADD/ADHD.

Straterra didn’t work for my ADD and it also makes me nauseous and it makes me violently puke. ?

I don’t know what’s wrong. I feel like ADD is an issue but I also feel like I have massive anhedonia. I’m seeing a therapist tomorrow because my psychiatrist wants me to see one because of our prescribing laws here, but I don’t know what she’s gonna tell me that’s useful. Bleah.

[Iceberg]

22 minutes ago, yellowlovesgray said:

Straterra didn’t work for my ADD and it also makes me nauseous and it makes me violently puke. ?

I don’t know what’s wrong. I feel like ADD is an issue but I also feel like I have massive anhedonia. I’m seeing a therapist tomorrow because my psychiatrist wants me to see one because of our prescribing laws here, but I don’t know what she’s gonna tell me that’s useful. Bleah.

I would look at Wellbutrin it can help with motivation and general blah

[Iceberg]

Assuming u can get it where u are...

[Ion]

What you describe is a lot like my usual symptoms (anhedonia, no motivation, laying around all day, but not a lot of despair). My doctors and I have been considering it depression in partial remission, but also have been finding it quite puzzling and are now going to test for ADHD.

[CrazyRedhead]

15 hours ago, yellowlovesgray said:

Straterra didn’t work for my ADD and it also makes me nauseous and it makes me violently puke. ?

I don’t know what’s wrong. I feel like ADD is an issue but I also feel like I have massive anhedonia. I’m seeing a therapist tomorrow because my psychiatrist wants me to see one because of our prescribing laws here, but I don’t know what she’s gonna tell me that’s useful. Bleah.

I second Iceberg's suggestion of Wellbutrin if Straterra didn't help.....

 

14 hours ago, Iceberg said:

14 hours ago, Iceberg said:

I would look at Wellbutrin it can help with motivation and general blah

 

 

[yellowlovesgray]

On 3/8/2019 at 5:16 AM, Ion said:

What you describe is a lot like my usual symptoms (anhedonia, no motivation, laying around all day, but not a lot of despair). My doctors and I have been considering it depression in partial remission, but also have been finding it quite puzzling and are now going to test for ADHD.

I think it’s annedhonia exactly. I started Wellbutrin again and it did help, I think I need to go up in dosage though because I’m constantly drowsy still and I’m on a pretty high dose already.

still not terribly motivated and I’m super apathetic. Like I know consequences to my apathy exist but I don’t seem to care.

I did start exercising again, I bought a bike and I’ve been consistent and feel physically better and a little happier, I just can’t motivate myself to work, get ready in the morning, etc. 

Outside of my daily bike ride I just watch tv in bed on my phone all day.

 

[gb84]

I struggle with energy and motivation as well.  Every night I tell myself I am going to ride my bike the next day.  But the next day I feel miserable and usually try and sleep instead.  I'm hoping rexulti will help this as I've tried too many AD's to list.  I'm also trying to get back on extended release dexedrine as the IR version just isn't cutting it. 

I spend most of the time watching TV or YouTube.  It's a struggle for me to find anything I like anymore.  

[Iceberg]

3 hours ago, yellowlovesgray said:

I think it’s annedhonia exactly. I started Wellbutrin again and it did help, I think I need to go up in dosage though because I’m constantly drowsy still and I’m on a pretty high dose already.

still not terribly motivated and I’m super apathetic. Like I know consequences to my apathy exist but I don’t seem to care.

I did start exercising again, I bought a bike and I’ve been consistent and feel physically better and a little happier, I just can’t motivate myself to work, get ready in the morning, etc. 

Outside of my daily bike ride I just watch tv in bed on my phone all day.

 

What dose?