ehygon Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Since my initial realization that I wasn't quite right, my problems are so very different. Initially, I was weepy, and self injurous, and didn't have the will to go to school for months at a time. Relatively obvious, I was depressed. Fast forward to know, currently toying with the idea of leaving my second pdoc, after probably a year of talk therapy, and eighty bazillion pills later. I'm not on any meds at the moment, but we'll get to that. Right now, when I'm in a bad mood, being sad or crying aren't symptoms. My problems are more, excessive guilt, mild paranoia, fatigue, and occasional thoughts of suicide. But I don't see how this is depression, without the obvious depressed mood. I have absolutely no interest in anyone, or anything, and I'm generally always tired. My social phobia keeps me from doing pretty much anything productive or entertaining, like going out, getting a job, or even using the phone. These problems are with me 24/7. I have hypomanic symptoms, not overly often, which mainly consist of rage, anxiety, aggression, and sometimes a little paranoia. My pdoc tells me "thats good" when I complain about them, and inform him that I haven't started my homicidal spree. Occasionally, I'll have a nice euphoric period, where I can't stop thinking about screwing every other person who passes me, getting through obscene passages in textbooks, and being very giddy. Generally, these are worse when I'm taking his silly pills, which most recently consisted of remeron and lithium. I kind of want to bring this up with my pdoc, but I really despise him, and I'd rather not open pandora's box without knowing whats in it. Comments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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