Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org
CrazyRedhead

Sister Trying to Control Adult Daughter's Eating

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

I don't quite know how to start, but my niece (sister's daughter), is clinically obese.....She is about 125 pounds overweight.....She is very smart, does well in college (she is 21),  has many friends, is very social, and is a very nice, happy girl....

My sister tells me that niece had a complete physical, and all bloodwork was normal, no high cholesterol, no high blood sugar, normal range blood pressure........Everything was normal, except her weight.......According to my sister, the doctor did tell her that she was at risk of developing certain health conditions if she didn't lose some weight.......... doc gave her some literature to read, and recommended Weight Watchers as a sensible program to lose weight....

My sister is very worried about her daughter's weight, and tells her constantly that she "will never have a boyfriend because she's fat".....I personally thought that was terrible of my sister to say that, and told my sis that shaming her daughter won't help with the weight issue.

My sister keeps snacks and goodies locked up in her house, and also locks the fridge at night......But my niece attends college Monday-Fri all day, so she eats whatever she wants at school.......But when at home my sis makes a "diet dinner" for my niece, and she and her son eat different food.......My sister has tried to get my niece to go to a nutritionist for guidance, but niece refuses......Niece also refuses to exercise even though my sister tries to make her do it......Of course, my niece is an adult, and I told my sister this.

I tried to tell sis that when her daughter wants to lose weight for herself, she will.....I don't think that my sis fat-shaming her daughter is right at all, and may be making things worse.......I really can't do much about the situation, but try to advise my sis what to do.........Basically I have told her that forcing anything on her daughter will not work, and that my niece will lose weight when she's ready to do it for herself........

Is there any other advice I can give my sister?.......this situation really makes me feel bad for my niece.....

 

Edited by CrazyRedhead

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don’t know what you could tell your sister that would even sink in... but honestly for your niece’s sake I hope she can graduate soon, and move out. I understand your sister is concerned, but that’s a really shitty way to treat her, locking the fridge and making different dinners. 

Since your niece has many friends, there might be hope that one of them could try to persuade her to live a healthier life, either by saying something or by example. 

Sounds like sis has good intentions, maybe *she* could take a nutrition class, and show her daughter good examples, and make dinners that they can all eat, and not single niece out. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Rabbit37 said:

I don’t know what you could tell your sister that would even sink in... but honestly for your niece’s sake I hope she can graduate soon, and move out. I understand your sister is concerned, but that’s a really shitty way to treat her, locking the fridge and making different dinners. 

Since your niece has many friends, there might be hope that one of them could try to persuade her to live a healthier life, either by saying something or by example. 

Sounds like sis has good intentions, maybe *she* could take a nutrition class, and show her daughter good examples, and make dinners that they can all eat, and not single niece out. 

Good ideas........My niece is a junior, so only has one more year of college.......I agree my sister is not treating her daughter right.

I think at least my sis could benefit from taking a nutrition class, serving the same food to everybody, and also quit locking up the food....**SIGH**.........Serving her daughter a different dinner than everyone else is just terrible, IMO.

On another note, I am considering asking niece if she would like to move in with me....She gets along great with my daughter, but I will discuss it with daughter first and see how she feels about it.........But if she moved in with me, that would be sure to piss off my sister......No easy answers on this one, for sure.......**SIGH**

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

she just seems pretty lazy. and slovenly. I guess it's why she's overweight.

i wouldn't worry. but then I don't see why it's your business to be fair, considering that it's your sister's daughter. i'm not being rude at all. I just feel that whilst she needs to lose weight, it could be how she was raised, or just how she IS as a person. 

  • Confused 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, coa999 said:

she just seems pretty lazy. and slovenly. I guess it's why she's overweight.

i wouldn't worry. but then I don't see why it's your business to be fair, considering that it's your sister's daughter. i'm not being rude at all. I just feel that whilst she needs to lose weight, it could be how she was raised, or just how she IS as a person. 

You completely missed the point of the original post. Try re-reading before you jump in and call names. 

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

most people who are overeweight is ultimately down to sloth. this was my angle here. it's why many people drink and smoke to excess. 

i don't see anything reall wrong here, based on what the OP has said. it's not pathological - if anything it's pretty normal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, coa999 said:

most people who are overeweight is ultimately down to sloth. this was my angle here. it's why many people drink and smoke to excess. 

i don't see anything reall wrong here, based on what the OP has said. it's not pathological - if anything it's pretty normal.

that's beyond offensive to those of us (including me) who are overweight.  I gained weight while on a medication and I'm now doing everything in my power to lose the weight--watching calories, seeing a nutritionist, exercising each day.  To me, that's the antithesis of the definition of a sloth.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, dancesintherain said:

that's beyond offensive to those of us (including me) who are overweight.  I gained weight while on a medication and I'm now doing everything in my power to lose the weight--watching calories, seeing a nutritionist, exercising each day.  To me, that's the antithesis of the definition of a sloth.

The OP said that her niece is normal.

This is the context i meant it in.

i don't see why what i said frankly was offensive. 

 

 

Quote

I don't quite know how to start, but my niece (sister's daughter), is clinically obese.....She is about 125 pounds overweight.....She is very smart, does well in college (she is 21),  has many friends, is very social, and is a very nice, happy girl....

My sister tells me that niece had a complete physical, and all bloodwork was normal, no high cholesterol, no high blood sugar, normal range blood pressure........Everything was normal, except her weight.......According to my sister, the doctor did tell her that she was at risk of developing certain health conditions if she didn't lose some weight.......... doc gave her some literature to read, and recommended Weight Watchers as a sensible program to lose weight....

 

you can bully me all you wish for just offering an opinion,  based on a reading of what the OP HERSELF said.

 

so based on this, hence why i said it's normal. who doesn't know a fat person who is such not out of any underlying issue, but due to slovenliness? 

leave me alone.

Edited by coa999

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

it's you who is being harsh here lol.

NOT me. i didn't do anything wrong. i'll block you since you're a cunt who likes to bully random people for no reason.

9 minutes ago, Hume's doona said:

:popcorn-and-drink-smiley-emotic

i did nothing wrong.

read any text on weight in modern society. you'll see i'm right.

19 minutes ago, dancesintherain said:

that's beyond offensive to those of us (including me) who are overweight.  I gained weight while on a medication and I'm now doing everything in my power to lose the weight--watching calories, seeing a nutritionist, exercising each day.  To me, that's the antithesis of the definition of a sloth.

lol.

you're a bully. go away and leave me be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/6/2019 at 3:53 PM, CrazyRedhead said:

I don't quite know how to start, but my niece (sister's daughter), is clinically obese.....She is about 125 pounds overweight.....She is very smart, does well in college (she is 21),  has many friends, is very social, and is a very nice, happy girl....

My sister tells me that niece had a complete physical, and all bloodwork was normal, no high cholesterol, no high blood sugar, normal range blood pressure........Everything was normal, except her weight.......According to my sister, the doctor did tell her that she was at risk of developing certain health conditions if she didn't lose some weight.......... doc gave her some literature to read, and recommended Weight Watchers as a sensible program to lose weight....

My sister is very worried about her daughter's weight, and tells her constantly that she "will never have a boyfriend because she's fat".....I personally thought that was terrible of my sister to say that, and told my sis that shaming her daughter won't help with the weight issue.

My sister keeps snacks and goodies locked up in her house, and also locks the fridge at night......But my niece attends college Monday-Fri all day, so she eats whatever she wants at school.......But when at home my sis makes a "diet dinner" for my niece, and she and her son eat different food.......My sister has tried to get my niece to go to a nutritionist for guidance, but niece refuses......Niece also refuses to exercise even though my sister tries to make her do it......Of course, my niece is an adult, and I told my sister this.

I tried to tell sis that when her daughter wants to lose weight for herself, she will.....I don't think that my sis fat-shaming her daughter is right at all, and may be making things worse.......I really can't do much about the situation, but try to advise my sis what to do.........Basically I have told her that forcing anything on her daughter will not work, and that my niece will lose weight when she's ready to do it for herself........

Is there any other advice I can give my sister?.......this situation really makes me feel bad for my niece.....

 

I can get FULLY why you and your sis are worried.

And for her to say she'll never get a bf is wrong. at least when I was younger, I knew a lot of fatter girls who got dates. being slim was a preference, like it is now, but even now it's not an absolute bar. 

but bar the bullying of other posters here, i think she shold lose weight. the excess weight could take its toll in the future, and it's good to get things sorted now.

 

On 5/6/2019 at 3:53 PM, CrazyRedhead said:

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Rabbit37 said:

You completely missed the point of the original post. Try re-reading before you jump in and call names. 

well no. you and your friend crazyhorse or whatever she calls herself are clearly online bulls/trolls.

i'm not bothered though - i'm just acting here in good faith, unlike both of you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, coa999 said:

she just seems pretty lazy. and slovenly. I guess it's why she's overweight.

Umm, my niece is not lazy nor slovenly.........She works hard to maintain excellent grades in college, she volunteers for a horse rescue, plus has a job as a vet assistant.....She has been accepted to start veterinary school...I would call those pretty significant accomplishments for a 21 yr old.

Edited by CrazyRedhead

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
18 minutes ago, coa999 said:

well no. you and your friend crazyhorse or whatever she calls herself are clearly online bulls/trolls

What....??.......My screen name is CrazyRedhead and I am not a "bull" or a "troll"........I can't see where anyone who has replied to you has been a troll.........

Edited by CrazyRedhead
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

CR, I'm a bully for posting one thing that challenged the concept of people overweight being slovenly.  I think you're probably fighting a losing battle. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, CrazyRedhead said:

Umm, I do take offense to that.........My niece works hard to maintain excellent grades in college, she volunteers for a horse rescue, plus has a job as a vet assistant.....She has been accepted to start veterinary school...I would call those pretty significant accomplishments for a 21 yr old.

There are many people who are functional and overweight. most of it is down to bad diet or lack of exercise. this is what i meant by slovenly. 

she just needs to change her diet and exercise more, and tht's it. it doesn't seem like there are any other factors making her fat. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, dancesintherain said:

CR, I'm a bully for posting one thing that challenged the concept of people overweight being slovenly.  I think you're probably fighting a losing battle. 

I don't think you're a bully at all, dances.........You're right, I probably am fighting a losing battle.......I just take offense when name-calling happens to anyone here......You are not slovenly, nor is my niece.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
58 minutes ago, CrazyRedhead said:

What....??.......My screen name is CrazyRedhead and I am not a "bull" or a "troll"........I can't see where anyone who has replied to you has been a troll.........

i didn't mean you. i meant the other person.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Which other person?

2 minutes ago, coa999 said:

i didn't mean you. i meant the other person.

Which other person?.....I don't think anyone who posted has been a bull or a troll.....

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...