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Am I supposed to want to do things?

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Well it looks like my meds make me a bit more calm. Am I supposed to want to do things now? Do meds motivate or am I just lazy and wanting the meds to magically make me care?

Cause I'm a lazy bastard. I try to want to do things, I even dream about doing these little things, then I wake up, and I'm like ok I didn't really do... anything...

Part of it is because of the avoiding situations that make me anxious, namely being around people. It hasn't always been like this... however in the past I push myself so hard, that I completely lose it. Again being around people... working, schooling, etc. And it goes round and round like that.

I do have things coming up, like a test for a job. Yesterday I picked up my meds. My therapist hunt has come to a stop. It was a half ass attempt and I got rejected as well as them never calling back. Oh, and I need to get groceries!! It's been two weeks since I was supposed to.

Yeah yeah, excuses, excuses, I'm just lazy

People tell me to do something! I do have things coming up, however small it may be. It's at a snail's pace, and disorganized. Oh yeah, I forget to feed myself all to often!! ;)

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Is there something to do?  Is there somewhere to go?  Hobbies? 

You are not alone my friend.  Oh, except I feed myself far too much.  Is eating a hobby?  How about smoking? 

I'm sure if I took up knitting my whole life would change.  ;)

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i'm attending a day treatment thing starting next week.

it's actually called a 'remotivation program'


will it motivate me to throw pretty coloured plates at the wall and make deviant sculpture out of it? what??

motivation. motivation to start a revolution??

online bingo sounds good. cheaper than real bingo?

i know what's cheap.

a nap.

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I didn't want to do anything for a long.....time. They called it depression. I finally got on the meds that were right for me and I'm feeling like doing a few things now.

Maybe that would work for you.

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I hear tell that I'm on the right meds, cause I am not cycling every 3 1/2 minutes--altho if you look at Modtracker, that does NOT look like a normal person--

But I have no motivation to do anything--Nothing--nada--no hobbies, no reading--no shopping--just sleeping and watching TV.  Right now its car racing which I will watch till my eyes fall out.

What happened to ME?  I think I want to be crazy again--I had a shit load more fun.

china, the most boring person on the entire planet--sitting, sitting, oh, look, a car wreck, sitting some more--  I dont even play games--takes too much energy and concentration---yawn--

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Well if anyone wants to play I am on bingocabin.com.  It's cheap and i can't get in as much trouble here as the other BAD gambling sites.

You can chat with other players and it's fun.  Find me me if you like.  Same name as here.

I just won.  Woohoo! ;)

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ionline bingo sounds good. cheaper than real bingo?

i know what's cheap.


***S9, who has blatantly stolen Olga's entry into a room--Peej, do I need to look for a Bingo Anonymous link?"***

NNXT--eating food once in awhile is essential to the survival of the organism, or so I've read on the INTERNET.

I am the most demotivated person in my household. But I do everything and get the bills paid, get the job done.

Besides, when you're between a *rock* and a hard place, what is there to do? Isn't that part of the dilemma?

I took up graphic arts. Years ago. Web design. Spending days in the virtual insane asylum aka CB. Are these things?

The less I have to get off my ass, the more thingee they sound to me.

Sex would be awesome, but I have been relegated to the hell of celibacy because, I found out through past-life regression, I was a very nasty Mesopotamian Queen, who abused her slave boys terribly, and now I am paying in this life--my penance, no sex. <toggles to Soup Nazi voice> "NO SEX FOR YOU!"

I have drank one beer. Time to log out!

Listening to collaberation between JayZ and my re-current fantasy, Beck.

"banging like an 808..."

Roland TR 808, drum machine


<shivers> leaving now...

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Peej, do I need to look for a Bingo Anonymous link?"***




the numbers are my friend.

i won 200 dolla last week.

but i have been cutting back. it's expensiver and i have other things i'm uh.. doing. <ducks>

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808 drum machine, the 808 kick is overused in today's mainstream Hip Hop ;) In it's original form it sounds like a freaking rubber band! It's good that you mention that I use the NNXT sampler, which is software in this day and age. I have all the 808 sounds on there too *geeks out*

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808 drum machine, the 808 kick is overused in today's mainstream Hip Hop ;)
Ahem, young man, I would not call Beck mainstream hip hop...anyway, 808 justs sounds so cool especially in this context:

Excerpt from Beck Interview:

Q: Favorite song to make love to


A: I don't really need music when I make love. I got a beat in my body, I got an 808 in my pelvis.

Having seen him in concert, I don't know about his pelvis (unfortunately) but I can say the dude has something going on in there...

I should say, when I was a young drug addled, smug know-it-all 20-something, and Loser made it's debut, I thought, "what shite!"

Odelay got my attention

Mutations more so

Sea Change has saved me through a broken heart.

So, yeah, I have accumulated a lot of respect for this oft ridiculed, but in my opinion, gifted musician.

I'm always turned on by the mind first. It has gotten me in serious trouble.

Am I digressing? I have now had 3 beers. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Geriatrics on alcohol!

You are okay NNXT. Old soul...you'll be alright, but plese, lay low when in enemy territory.



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in my experience, doing things, no matter how little they are, helps.  staying in bed or on the computer (i have to say i do this all the time) will not help.  but right now i'm in a rut too, but doing things really does help.  go get those groceries, you must be hungry!

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I'm just wondering could it be a med problem? I went through a lot of crap recently and got home about a month ago. Even though I was depressed I was doing a lot, maybe too much. It's like my mind and body shut down on me. I was really stressed out by the events, which happened to be life threatening as well.

I really do feel better on the meds, but now I'm so lethargic. It's a good thing too as I've been on so much medication and I feel a bit of difference now, finally. The bad side is this laziness.

Luckily, I can orgasm fine on meds. I can't have sex though because I literally don't know anybody... Nobody knows I exist...

Maybe if I get another job it will put me in the right direction. It's hard though after years, of failure, aka being around people. Argh I can't stress that enough, it's the most awful experience and the truth is it's going to happen again!

Or perhaps I'm just blaming, procrastinating... But when you see the same result over and over and OVER, again and again and AGAIN, there's truth behind it.

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Ok, a serious reply from me now.

Maybe the lethargy will pass with time as you adjust to the meds.

Don't beat yourself up about feeling lazy.  You don't feel depressed and that's GREAT!  Take your time slowly getting back on your feet.

Try not to obsess over what you should be accomplishing.  Just do what you can.


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