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Wonderful.Cheese

My sincerest apologies

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I posted about this in my blog but wanted to post here because I know not everyone reads blogs.

I feel like I’m a nasty person lately. That I’m not nice to anyone and I’m not pleasant to be around at all. I texted husband this and asked for his honest opinion regarding this. He hasn’t replied yet. Ouff.

But I feel this started when I had to drop my zyprexa dose down to 5 mg instead of 10 mg. Maybe I’m more crazy/not feeling as well so I’m more crabby and not nice to anyone at all and not pleasant to be around? Or maybe I’ve always been this way?

I apologize to anyone here I have been not nice to. I feel awful about this. 

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I am sorry you feel that way Cheese. You could be misinterpreting things. You have always been nice here.

I get irritable some times. People do.  It's okay to have an off day.

Try to distract yourself until you hear from your husband.

I am surprised how much a small change in meds can affect me sometimes. I just increased my abilify a bit to try to help with anxiety.

I hope we both start feeling better soon

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1 hour ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

I posted about this in my blog but wanted to post here because I know not everyone reads blogs.

I feel like I’m a nasty person lately. That I’m not nice to anyone and I’m not pleasant to be around at all. I texted husband this and asked for his honest opinion regarding this. He hasn’t replied yet. Ouff.

But I feel this started when I had to drop my zyprexa dose down to 5 mg instead of 10 mg. Maybe I’m more crazy/not feeling as well so I’m more crabby and not nice to anyone at all and not pleasant to be around? Or maybe I’ve always been this way?

I apologize to anyone here I have been not nice to. I feel awful about this. 

Ha. You’ve been fine as far as what I’ve seen. I say ha because I think I’ve taken first prize in the bitch category lately.  But that’s just my perception. It happens. We’re mentally ill.  You’re fine. 

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Maybe you haven't been nasty to anyone. When I'm down I get obsessed by the what ifs. What if someone read something I said and thought I meant... Yeah everyone probably hates me now. This has happened to me so many times, and the offense that I was worried I'd caused wasn't felt by anyone. So obviously I learnt from that and will never think like that again. Nope. Nope. Nope. Of course I will.

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You’re fine, Chee. 

Why did you drop your Zyprexa dose? It seemed to be working so well for you.

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You seem nice to damn near everyone here. You're ok in my book

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21 hours ago, confused said:

I am sorry you feel that way Cheese. You could be misinterpreting things. You have always been nice here.

I get irritable some times. People do.  It's okay to have an off day.

Try to distract yourself until you hear from your husband.

I am surprised how much a small change in meds can affect me sometimes. I just increased my abilify a bit to try to help with anxiety.

I hope we both start feeling better soon

I hope I am misinterpreting things. Thanks confused.

I hope your increased abilify will help you with your anxiety. Anxiety is so bad and rough to deal with. Yuck. 

20 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

Ha. You’ve been fine as far as what I’ve seen. I say ha because I think I’ve taken first prize in the bitch category lately.  But that’s just my perception. It happens. We’re mentally ill.  You’re fine. 

Thanks DJ. I hope you're right. FWIW I think you are a lovely person.

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16 hours ago, Fluent In Silence said:

Maybe you haven't been nasty to anyone. When I'm down I get obsessed by the what ifs. What if someone read something I said and thought I meant... Yeah everyone probably hates me now. This has happened to me so many times, and the offense that I was worried I'd caused wasn't felt by anyone. So obviously I learnt from that and will never think like that again. Nope. Nope. Nope. Of course I will.

Oh goodness, yes!!!!! Those what ifs. If I had a, even a measly dime, for every what if thought I had in my brain I'd be a billionaire. Thanks for understanding. I'm sorry you go through the what ifs too, though.

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Awww that makes my day, 😊 thank you! Likewise. 💗

15 minutes ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

Thanks DJ. I hope you're right. FWIW I think you are a lovely person.

 

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15 hours ago, Gearhead said:

You’re fine, Chee. 

Why did you drop your Zyprexa dose? It seemed to be working so well for you.

Thanks gear.

I had to drop the Z dose because stupid pdoc's nurse would not call me back after repeated calls and I got fed up and said I'd just talk to pdoc myself. I don't see pdoc for 9 days. But before it was a lot longer of a wait. Stupid nurse wants a week advance to fill a week's worth of PRN Z (I get 14, 5 mg Z pills in a box). So I can only take one, 5 mg pill now without running out because of stupid "week's advance notice call rule."

12 hours ago, argh said:

You seem nice to damn near everyone here. You're ok in my book

Thanks argh. I appreciate it.

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10 minutes ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

stupid "week's advance notice call rule."

Ridiculous rule. Wtf are they doing? Ugh. 

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13 minutes ago, DammitJanet said:

Ridiculous rule. Wtf are they doing? Ugh. 

Agree that seems moderately rediculous 

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I never remember Cheese not being nice ever, I mean if you weren't nice I would assume it was just your pain talking (not that i wouldn't take what you said seriously, just that the not niceness of it i would put down to pain) but I've never had to do that with you and I've never seen you not being nice to anyone else either.

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i think you're a lovely person, cheese. i've seen you be irritable when your circumstances aren't good, but who wouldn't be irritable when their meds get screwed with? you're always kind and grateful to everyone you talk to here. there's a big difference between being frustrated with what's going on and being frustrated with the people around you, and even if your mood hasn't been great, i haven't seen you lash out at anyone here at all.

keep on keeping on, cheese. i'm cheering for you. :) 

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That’s such a ridiculous rule and so problematic.  

You have nothing to apologize for Cheese. I’ve never seen you as anything but kind, it would be perfectly fine for you to be in a bad mood, rage, have anger, etc.  you’re human.  I think apologies can belong on a smaller scale (like an individual conversation where you feel needed), but you really don’t need to broadly apologize.

Kind wishes.

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