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I wonder if I have too high expectations, am jaded or a hopeless case. But I've only had 1 Therapist in 20+ years of regular therapy that I felt was pretty decent, who helped me progress & feel better (and I've seen at least 15).

Beyond obvious traits like: good listener, observant, empathetic, caring, dedicated, positive, clear communicator, transparent, proactive, validating, non-judgemental, intelligent (and someone who simply just understands & "gets" you.) Nobody's perfect, but..

What other traits, qualities, behaviors make a great therapist? Have you ever had one that totally meets your criteria?  I am so sick of settling and trying to find someone who can really help me. I give everyone like 4-5 session trial at least. Maybe I just need to quit altogether, go at it alone and try harder to help myself 😢

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Blahblah said:

I wonder if I have too high expectations, am jaded or a hopeless case.  

I've been in the same boat........I don't think your expectations are too high.

I just started seeing a new therapist last month, because my previous therapist admitted there was nothing else she could do to help me.

I've only seen the new therapist 2 times, but I think I've found a keeper.......She says that when she accepts a new client, she feels fortunate that she has been invited to help them along their journey......I was upset about something and called her, she called back within about 30 minutes, so I was impressed about that............She is trained in many different areas of therapy,  because she thinks just using one method won't work for everyone.....Very easy to talk to, makes me feel comfortable about sharing even not-so-good things about myself..

I'm reserving final judgment until a few more sessions, but so far, very good......                                                       

Edited by CrazyRedhead

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I would also add accessibility, and a good memory. Like if you tell them the people in your life they actually remember and you don't have to reexplain every time. I've been fortunate in that my Pdoc, who does therapy, pretty much exhibits all of these things. He's reliable, responsive, remembers what I tell him, empathetic and non-judgmental. Sometimes I wish he would tell me what to do instead of telling me that I am choosing between reasonable choices, but I guess that's not really his job. He's probably not perfect, but is extremely trustworthy, and has been responsive to me when I've been in trouble. I think therapists like that are out there. But it's really hard to find them and seems pretty much to be by the luck of insurance and referral. Though I was referred to this one by a previous psychiatrist who was okay, but broke various confidentiality rules, talked about herself all the time, and would say things like "if we spend all this money to educate the intellectually challenged what have we really gained?" So I'm not sure how I lucked into the great referral from her. But I live in fear of when he retires.

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