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haven't left the house since thursday


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I have't been able to get myself out for four days. the sad thing is that this is not particularly unusual. i guess i usually get some rejuvinating sense of connection on the weekends but unfortunatly i've become a basketball widow to march madness.

i feel so disconnected i don't even know what to ask for- so i thought i'd reach out for a little connection through cyberspace.

i'd been increasingly anxious and spacey so i upped my serequel and now i'm so lethargic. i don't want the phone to ring so i stay online- ever feel like the lonlier you feel the less you want to talk to anyone- stupid huh?

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ever feel like the lonlier you feel the less you want to talk to anyone- stupid huh?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May be stupid, but I've certainly been there!

Tommy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

absolutely.  and trying to explain it later was even worse, which is probably one of the reasons I have no friends anymore!

actually, don't think it's "stupid" at all!

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I have't been able to get myself out for four days. the sad thing is that this is not particularly unusual.....

i don't want the phone to ring so i stay online- ever feel like the lonlier you feel the less you want to talk to anyone- stupid huh?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

mrsloony -

I feel like this all the time and am turning into quite a recluse and realize days and days go by and I haven't talked to anyone except my cats.  On some level I know it should bother me more than it does but I keep the phone unplugged most of the time so it's a downward spiral.

I know I feel better when I do make an effort to connect with people but there are lots of times I feel the need to be left alone.  I guess if it were five hundred years ago I would have been burnt at the stake - alone with two cats, up late at night, music at odd hours of the day...... 

I'm glad to have found others like myself here since it's hard to make people who thrive on companionship understand what it feels like.  I don't think it's stupid at all.

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I've felt that way too, but I'd like to point out that if you go out you might be able to find some REALLY GOOD ICE CREAM! I don't mean to trivialize. I know sometimes encouragements like this don't work, and that it's really hard to do what you know is good for you. But sometimes I'll work to get Breyer's or other good eats when most things wouldn't make me move at all, this side of a high velocity boot. You can sneak out to the 24 hour store at 3am and probably no one will feel like talking anyway.

Being depressed isn't any more stupid than being sick in some other way. My s.o. was saying bronchitis was stupid, recently.

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ever feel like the lonlier you feel the less you want to talk to anyone- stupid huh?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May be stupid, but I've certainly been there!

Tommy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

absolutely.  and trying to explain it later was even worse, which is probably one of the reasons I have no friends anymore!

actually, don't think it's "stupid" at all!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Maybe it is stupid and self-defeating.  Honestly, I think it is.  BUT I do it anyway.  I NEVER answer my phone.  I am a big ass hermit, all the while whining about how lonely I am. It's strange.  I really wish I had met "The One" by now, and could be at home, but not alone.  Sigh.

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Heya mrsloony,

All the time.

And I *like* being alone.

Know what?

(Keep in mind I'm a wacko too.)

It's okay to be alone.

And can be fun.

And you can eat a *lot* of ... well, for me it's not ice cream, I was thinking of all-day breakfast.  Especially at local restaurants who make a lot of breakfasts.  And who don't care if you read while you eat.

And watch movies you like.

And mess around on the internet a whole bunch.

It's okay.

Really.

As long as *you* feel okay about it.

Do you?

--ncc--

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Thank you everyone for your responses! i am finding that coming on the boards is often really good company for me- and that i like reading about others'experiences and offering feedback.

i sort of feel like i've been introduced into this new "social" circle- but its safer to be friendly with people than in real life- also safer because people here understand.

the ice cream idea has worked unfortunately too well. i think i am at my heaviest in my life ( very very hard with past hx of ed).

("kirsty ally? what's that number again????")

i wish everything in life could come to me!!

i wish no one would expect anything from me!

i wish i had no expectations for myself!

i wish Everything didn't make me feel like the center of a pressure cooker!!

( and as long as i'm wishing- i wish i had a big hot fudge sundae right here right now!!!)

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Thank you everyone for your responses! i am finding that coming on the boards is often really good company for me- and that i like reading about others'experiences and offering feedback.

i sort of feel like i've been introduced into this new "social" circle- but its safer to be friendly with people than in real life- also safer because people here understand.

the ice cream idea has worked unfortunately too well. i think i am at my heaviest in my life ( very very hard with past hx of ed).

("kirsty ally? what's that number again????")

i wish everything in life could come to me!!

i wish no one would expect anything from me!

i wish i had no expectations for myself!

i wish Everything didn't make me feel like the center of a pressure cooker!!

( and as long as i'm wishing- i wish i had a big hot fudge sundae right here right now!!!)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Goddamn!  I want a hot fudge sundae too.  Fuck you Jenny Craig. ;)

I'm glad to hear you are getting comfy here Lady.  It's about the only place we can just be ourselves and lose the facade of pretending to be normal.

Now, we all need to find some scheme to make money without leaving the house.

Everyone combine their bipolar superpowers.  There has to be a better way!!!!  Seriously.  Isn't there?  God I hope so....

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Guest Doodlebug

actually, don't think it's "stupid" at all!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't either ;)

Tommy

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi I'm new but I think I belong here ;-)

The phone comment got me...I cringe when the phone rings. It's almost enough to send me into a panic attack some days. Someone knocking on the door too...OMG thats even worse. I have to face someone!

As for leaving the house...once a week at the most, do I even walk out my front door. I live in an apartment complex and have a very supportive friend next door so that helps, but even she has said at times, "I haven't seen you in weeks" Her front door is 15 feet from mine!

As to the isolation, I agree the meds just make you content in your isolation and make you believe that all is good. I know I need to go out, have an active life but, sad to say, I don't want to. I have no desire to have a life outside of my apartment. The sad part is I have two children. (8 and 10)

I have a very active, soon to be divorced, with new boobs best friend, who has never looked better,  begging me to come to Florida to visit.

I just can't do it, I can't. All I have to do is buy a ticket....less than $150 she takes care of all my other expenses happily. I last went down a year ago January.

I love her and once upon a time would have flown down on a whim. But not anymore.

Thanks for listening,

Doodlebug

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