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Has anyone heard of this? It’s like a form of OCD but really intense and tends to just be intrusive thoughts ALL THE TIME. I am pretty much wasting my good years and making myself physically sick with my OCD. I refuse to go on another med. sometimes it feels like I almost have a tick in my brain that can’t stop the thoughts. It’s very discouraging and makes me feel like a freak. 

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my OCD is far more obsessive than compulsive. i deal with a lot of intrusive thoughts that don't have compulsions attached to them. interacting with men and using bathrooms that aren't mine often give me sexual intrusive thoughts (i have no sexual trauma in my history that would otherwise account for this). from childhood until starting medication, i would get violent, gory thoughts out of nowhere that made it impossible for me to see cartoon violence without feeling nauseous. i used to get disgusting intrusive thoughts whenever i saw certain shades of green as a child. i still don't like the colour green in anything but plants. all along, i've almost never had typical OCD compulsions like checking, cleaning, or other rituals (however, in retrospect, i can identify a few things i used to do that were probably compulsions).

part of pure-o sometimes entails compulsions that are primarily in your head, and don't get translated into overt physical actions. i used to be obsessed with efficiency (a weird OCPD/OCD crossover) and would run through how i could change the whole course of my day by saving a minute or two while making breakfast or whatever. i put a lot of mental energy into mapping out paths to take and ordering my actions into schedules that felt "efficient". physically, this would result in me doing stuff like bringing everything i needed for cooking out of the fridge in one go, and not putting anything away until i was done with everything and could bring it back in one trip. mentally, i was planning things down to the footstep. it was exhausting. i remember wishing my brain would just turn the fuck off, for once.

you're not alone, and you're not a freak. i'm sorry things are so rough right now. keep posting about it -- we're here to listen.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, echolocation said:

my OCD is far more obsessive than compulsive. i deal with a lot of intrusive thoughts that don't have compulsions attached to them. interacting with men and using bathrooms that aren't mine often give me sexual intrusive thoughts (i have no sexual trauma in my history that would otherwise account for this). from childhood until starting medication, i would get violent, gory thoughts out of nowhere that made it impossible for me to see cartoon violence without feeling nauseous. i used to get disgusting intrusive thoughts whenever i saw certain shades of green as a child. i still don't like the colour green in anything but plants. all along, i've almost never had typical OCD compulsions like checking, cleaning, or other rituals (however, in retrospect, i can identify a few things i used to do that were probably compulsions).

part of pure-o sometimes entails compulsions that are primarily in your head, and don't get translated into overt physical actions. i used to be obsessed with efficiency (a weird OCPD/OCD crossover) and would run through how i could change the whole course of my day by saving a minute or two while making breakfast or whatever. i put a lot of mental energy into mapping out paths to take and ordering my actions into schedules that felt "efficient". physically, this would result in me doing stuff like bringing everything i needed for cooking out of the fridge in one go, and not putting anything away until i was done with everything and could bring it back in one trip. mentally, i was planning things down to the footstep. it was exhausting. i remember wishing my brain would just turn the fuck off, for once.

you're not alone, and you're not a freak. i'm sorry things are so rough right now. keep posting about it -- we're here to listen.

Ugh. I understand what you’re saying. I would have to say the sexual intrusive thoughts can be a hard one to shake off. Was that a sexual pun? See. Even writing things without thinking I turn into sexual somehow. It seems like when you want to block that thought out it comes back even stronger. A friend told me just to keep reminding myself to say it’s just a thought it will pass. Isn’t it frustrating how much time is wasted and consumed by this shit? Yes! It would be nice to have a quiet brain. But then me being overly obsessed would wonder why I’m not thinking these things anymore.  sooo dumb. . It’s a damn bad loop to get in. Thanks for the reply!

Edited by KnickNak

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Posted (edited)

Hi @KnickNak Good to see ya around again. I thought I read somewhere that in OCD, the pure "O" symptoms are actually much more common than compulsions. I dunno. I often obsess over symptoms and then google for days, other than that, I get a lot of intrusive thoughts with my depression, don't know if they are obsessive, but man they are like a broken record on repeat...negative, worrisome ruminations, bleh.

Edited by Blahblah

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I would love that, a quiet brain. Not so much thinking 'it' but just doing things (working, writing, eating, etc) without the intrusive thought(s) would be so nice!

By 'it' I mean my intrusive unwanted thought. I developed an obsession with getting rid of that thought. It's similar to Pure O but doesn't involve different obsessions.
In psychology it is called 'ironic process theory' or 'the white bear problem'. 

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10 hours ago, KnickNak said:

Has anyone heard of this? It’s like a form of OCD but really intense and tends to just be intrusive thoughts ALL THE TIME. I am pretty much wasting my good years and making myself physically sick with my OCD. I refuse to go on another med. sometimes it feels like I almost have a tick in my brain that can’t stop the thoughts. It’s very discouraging and makes me feel like a freak. 

Yes, I know about Pure-O.....However, with my OCD, I have obsessions and compulsions....I spend a LOT of time each day ruminating and performing compulsive rituals.......I have mainly the "checking" type of OCD.....

I have tried many meds, and have also tried CBT therapy,  to try and help my OCD, but it still tortures me every day.....I agree it is very discouraging.

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Exposure therapy (which can also be used in Pure O) worked best for me. I am very lucky that I found  a therapist that specializes in OCD and that my HMO has a month long OCD group class, which I've done twice. Mindfulness can help too.

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41 minutes ago, CeremonyNewOrder said:

Exposure therapy (which can also be used in Pure O) worked best for me. I am very lucky that I found  a therapist that specializes in OCD and that my HMO has a month long OCD group class, which I've done twice. Mindfulness can help too.

I would really like to try the exposure therapy, but so far I can't find any therapists in my area that are trained in it........Most in my area are trained in CBT and/or DBT.

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Posted (edited)

Don't have so many smart things to say here, other than that pure-o *definitely* exists.

My pure-o OCD hit me when I was about 12 years old.
I felt so bad about having these thoughts and thanks to not having compulsions I managed to hide it so well that nobody knew about it, until I decided to go see a pdoc myself, 14 years later when I felt that I finally hit the bottom where I couldn't care less if I were to die tomorrow.

I got it under control with my meds cocktail. Not perfect, but possible to live with.

Edit:
Compulsions do exist within this type, but they are not overt... i.e. not seen... i.e don't exist, as far the outside world is concerned.

Edited by HydroCat

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