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lisa2712

Do You Believe in Giving to Nonprofits or Charities?

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Hi,

Do you believe in giving money to charity or nonprofits? 

I know "charity begins at home," and I do offer to give my parents how ever much money they need to survive, although I have a low income. However, I'm able to save money because I live with my parents. I also know there are people who give to neighbors, friends, family, etc., and people they know personally, but I don't know any other people, besides my parents, sister, and uncles. I don't even know my neighbors, who I lived near for 20 years! Due to social anxiety and avoidance of them. I also know that many people give back by volunteering, but I tend to have a problem doing this, again because of social anxiety, which is severe. 

So, I feel my way to make a small difference is to give money to nonprofits who I believe in. Not a lot, just like $5.00 a month. In my religion, they emphasize giving a tithe to people in need. (I'm no longer religious, due again to SA :(

I use charitynavigator.com to gauge nonprofits and choose good ones. I have this thing, (I have too much time on my hands lol), where I debate about giving a small amount of money each month (about $5-$10) in causes I believe in. My mom says I'm selfish giving for the wrong reasons because I often choose to give money to charities that are selfish for me, that deal with causes that effect me (such as mental health research, disease research, etc. ) 

So, do you guys think I am throwing away my money ($5-10 /month) by giving money to nonprofits I believe in? My mom is totally against me doing this. She wants me to hold on to every penny I get, because I get very little each month. I debate with myself if giving money is a waste of money, or if it's doing some good. 

 

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Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, lisa2712 said:

So, do you guys think I am throwing away my money ($5-10 /month) by giving money to nonprofits I believe in? My mom is totally against me doing this. She wants me to hold on to every penny I get, because I get very little each month. I debate with myself if giving money is a waste of money, or if it's doing some good. 

I think it's great that you give some money to causes you believe in, even it's only a small amount.

It is doing good, IMO......It's really none of your mom's business what you use your money for....It is your money, after all.

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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How on EARTH could mental health or disease research be selfish? 

I do give to charity, but I’m extremely wary of who. I once was talked into giving a $20 donation to a breast cancer society. Good cause, but then they sold my name to every damn organization out there. I was furious. And, the larger the organization, the greater chance that your dollars are going to PR, advertising, and business expenses. 

I give to smaller ones, and in ways I know can help, and the money isn’t diverted. Recently a vandal in Texas destroyed quite a number of beehives, I guess just for shits and grins. It was a local beekeeping association, and I was happy to donate to help replace hives (my daughter is obsessed with bee welfare). Every year we choose from a publicized local wishlist of animal rescue organizations at Christmas time. I do send a check, but include a note to please not send me a thank you letter. Don’t waste the stamps! I donate goods as well... food or litter to the humane society, canned/dry goods to the local food pantry. 

If you’re looking for karma... every so often I see stories about kids with cancer or terminal illness requesting cards. One recently was a young girl who loves dogs, and wanted to receive pics of other people’s dogs. I made up a tiny book, with pics of my doggos and my granddog 😊 with descriptions of their personalities. It went viral, actually, I heard she received over 70,000. I was happy to do my part. I don’t put return addresses on the envelopes. 

Yeah, volunteerism doesn’t work for me either. Mostly you have to like people to do that... 

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2 hours ago, Rabbit37 said:

How on EARTH could mental health or disease research be selfish? 

I do give to charity, but I’m extremely wary of who. I once was talked into giving a $20 donation to a breast cancer society. Good cause, but then they sold my name to every damn organization out there. I was furious. And, the larger the organization, the greater chance that your dollars are going to PR, advertising, and business expenses. 

I give to smaller ones, and in ways I know can help, and the money isn’t diverted. Recently a vandal in Texas destroyed quite a number of beehives, I guess just for shits and grins. It was a local beekeeping association, and I was happy to donate to help replace hives (my daughter is obsessed with bee welfare). Every year we choose from a publicized local wishlist of animal rescue organizations at Christmas time. I do send a check, but include a note to please not send me a thank you letter. Don’t waste the stamps! I donate goods as well... food or litter to the humane society, canned/dry goods to the local food pantry. 

If you’re looking for karma... every so often I see stories about kids with cancer or terminal illness requesting cards. One recently was a young girl who loves dogs, and wanted to receive pics of other people’s dogs. I made up a tiny book, with pics of my doggos and my granddog 😊 with descriptions of their personalities. It went viral, actually, I heard she received over 70,000. I was happy to do my part. I don’t put return addresses on the envelopes. 

Yeah, volunteerism doesn’t work for me either. Mostly you have to like people to do that... 

Lol about volunteering! I'm volunteering because I need to get out of the house more, because my dad and I don't get along. :( But I'm not good with people, and I fear that volunteering will be a challenge for me. I have severe Social anxiety, and after I had my volunteer orientation today I was nervous and ate a big bag of chips! There goes my diet. The same thing happened 2 months ago after I had a volunteer interview. 

My mom thinks I'm selfish donating to these, because they relate to me and my issues, and I likely wouldn't be donating to them if I didn't have these issues. I tell her that donating money to a good nonprofit like the Brain and Behavior Research foundation, which researches mental illness, may be for selfish, but it may also one day help someone else with similar issues to mine. My issues are: Social anxiety (maybe other issues too), and having trouble tolerating mood stabilizers and/or Atypical Antipsychotics. 

A good resource for donating to nonprofits is Charity Navigator (www.charitynavigator.org). Yeah, you have to be careful who you give money to. Luckily, the few nonprofit organizations that I've given to from Charity Navigator have never sold my email or name to other organizations. 

That's nice that you took the time to make the dog picture book for the sick girl. Years ago, I wanted to send a card to a sick boy in Texas, but I had to use a stamp on the letter to send it from Florida (which is 75 cents, I think ?) and my mom wouldn't let me use the stamp. 

 

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It's not at all selfish to donate to charities that relate to your problems. There are so many needy causes and of course you're going to relate more to those causes which have affected you. Testicular cancer research is a worthy cause, but it would be strange if you suddenly found a passion for donating and volunteering for the benefit of testicles while ignoring any other charitable causes. Of course you don't have to have experienced exactly the same situation in order to feel some empathy and want to help, but whatever the reason, donating to a charity is not a selfish thing. Sorry but your mom sounds pretty damn cynical.

I remember hearing that people on low incomes give more generously to charities, as a proportion of their income. The rich might put on some big fancy benefit dinners, for their own benefit more than anyone else's you sometimes feel. I mean they could forgo the caviar and quail, get a KFC and give the money to the charity rather than using it all as an excuse to socialise with your rich friends while demonstrating to everyone what a good person you are for caring about the subhumans. I can be plenty damn cynical myself, but I don't agree with your mother saying you're selfish.

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53 minutes ago, Fluent In Silence said:

It's not at all selfish to donate to charities that relate to your problems. There are so many needy causes and of course you're going to relate more to those causes which have affected you. Testicular cancer research is a worthy cause, but it would be strange if you suddenly found a passion for donating and volunteering for the benefit of testicles while ignoring any other charitable causes. Of course you don't have to have experienced exactly the same situation in order to feel some empathy and want to help, but whatever the reason, donating to a charity is not a selfish thing. Sorry but your mom sounds pretty damn cynical.

I remember hearing that people on low incomes give more generously to charities, as a proportion of their income. The rich might put on some big fancy benefit dinners, for their own benefit more than anyone else's you sometimes feel. I mean they could forgo the caviar and quail, get a KFC and give the money to the charity rather than using it all as an excuse to socialise with your rich friends while demonstrating to everyone what a good person you are for caring about the subhumans. I can be plenty damn cynical myself, but I don't agree with your mother saying you're selfish.

Well, I don’t think my mom wants me to donate any money, unless it’s $1 maybe. But on the Internet, most nonprofits don’t accept donations less than $5. My mom is very frugal. But it’s my money , not hers. 

That would make sense about people on low incomes. 

My mom and I used to fight about a lot of things, a battle of the wills, but now I let most things slide and give in to what she wants. She acts the same way towards my dad (tries to control him) . 

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It’s not selfish at all. In fact, it’s wise. Who cares about us but us? Why should we not take care of our own? It’s like saying Catholics shouldn’t give to Catholic charities. It makes no sense.

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There are so many charities and causes out there. I think it's great if you want to give to something that you care about. You're right, it's your money and none of your mum's business. 

I am careful about donating - if someone comes to my door, or approaches me in the street asking for money for a charity, I don't sign on. I don't like the pressure and I like to take time to make a decision, not sign up on the spot. I also like to have good knowledge of something before I give my money to it. I think right now, hubby and I donate to Amnesty international. But every so often we change to another charity we care about and donate to that for a while. 

That was a bit of a ramble. I think if you want to donate to a charity you care about then that is awesome :)

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Yeah, if someone calls us asking for money, we know not to do it, because the telemarketers get a large share of the money. This scam was exposed in the news. 

 

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7 hours ago, lisa2712 said:

Yeah, if someone calls us asking for money, we know not to do it, because the telemarketers get a large share of the money. This scam was exposed in the news. 

 

Ah yes, that's a good point too. My husband used to ask (when approached in the street) "are you a volunteer for this cause?". Most of the time they weren't! I dunno but it puts me off when I know someone's motivation is to get paid, rather than being motivated by the cause. 

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