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I often find myself in groups where people break off in discussions and I find myself excluded.  It happens different places, so it must be me.  I end up standing back, and observing the conversations. Not a dissociation thing, just watching.

this has happened since I was school age.  In a way, it is good. No pressure to answer questions about myself, but I am not sure what to do.  

I feel like I missed that day at school where they taught social skills.

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I have been told that in such instances, I am not being deliberately excluded - it's more that others tend to be more assertive than me, or presumptive of inclusion.

Dunno if that helps you at all - sometimes it does for me, and sometimes not.

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Posted (edited)

Yes, I know it is not purposeful because it happens with different groups.  It just hits me that I am not part of any of the conversations.  I try to find one and to join in, but I am not very assertive, like you mentioned.  Is it okay to just hang out by myself when everyone is conversing? I feel like a dolt just standing there. Maybe, I will go for a walk, check my phone, I don’t know.

this is a meetup group for mothers who have grown children and free time. Most have/had more of a career than I do.  I can’t say I am a peer in mental health.  I just say mentor and that I assist the residents. But, it does not usually get that far.  There were 7 women at this activity.  I am not sure why I joined.  It was the first meetup I thought I could follow through on because the activities are light. Yesterday was a paint and sip where you follow an instructor and everyone paints the same picture.  They all looked different, but good.  Mine was not very good, but my family was kind and it was fun.  Don’t know that I need to do that again.  It was a beach scene and they gave us a cup to trace to make a sun and I still could not stay in the lines.  

What do you do when in that situation (not part of conversations)?

Edited by confused

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