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Bad Haiku

Sometimes I Hate My Mother

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My mother takes ativan and drinks on top of it, and when she does, I utterly hate her.

That is all.  I just needed to tell someone.

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Hating your mother is a perfectly fair option if your mother happens to suck. 

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12 minutes ago, Gearhead said:

Hating your mother is a perfectly fair option if your mother happens to suck. 

She'll call me multiple times a night and say the exact same things without realizing we talked about it less than an hour before.  Over and over in an endless loop.  I thought she was developing Alzheimer's or dementia or something until I caught her drinking on ativan and realized what she was doing to herself.  I brought it up to her and her response was, 'I know I have a problem, and I'll deal with it when I'm ready.  Not because you want me to.'

Fuck her, and fuck her passive aggressive bullshit.

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18 minutes ago, Bad Haiku said:

She'll call me multiple times a night and say the exact same things without realizing we talked about it less than an hour before.  Over and over in an endless loop.  I thought she was developing Alzheimer's or dementia or something until I caught her drinking on ativan and realized what she was doing to herself.  I brought it up to her and her response was, 'I know I have a problem, and I'll deal with it when I'm ready.  Not because you want me to.'

Fuck her, and fuck her passive aggressive bullshit.

I feel ya. Is it an option to just not answer your phone after the first call? That’s all I can think of. 

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Just now, DammitJanet said:

I feel ya. Is it an option to just not answer your phone after the first call? That’s all I can think of. 

I will, yeah.

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There is often some guilt in expressing a dislike for our parents. We're supposed to love our parents and we think there's something wrong with us if we don't. But I think many of us are here on this board for people with mental health problems because of shitty parents, and you aren't alone in feeling like that.

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No kidding on the passive-aggressive bullshit.  It would have sucked if it had a neuro basis like dementia or alzheimer's, but that would have been understandable (maybe?).  Knowing that she knows the cause and that she knows the impact on you is awful. 

Sometimes parents are hate-worthy.  And I'm not the one to make that call for you.  But you have a right to that feeling if it's the one that surfaces.

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On 7/24/2019 at 5:01 AM, Bad Haiku said:

My mother takes ativan and drinks on top of it, and when she does, I utterly hate her.

That is all.  I just needed to tell someone.

I feel your pain. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and she is so fucking awful when she's drunk. My sister also drinks and when they are drunk together they fight, physically. 

I just don't have a close relationship with my mum anymore because I have basically removed myself from my family, physically. My parents and my sister all live in the same city, even just around the corner from each other, and I'm in a city five hours away (by car). Putting distance between me and them has definitely been one of the best things I could have done for myself. Maybe you could set a boundary with your mum, like telling her you won't talk with her when she's been drinking after her ativan? Much love to you. 

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My extended family are a bunch of backstabbing thieves.

good riddance

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