Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

My mood has been absolutely deplorable for the past month or so. I honestly don't know how to begin to describe how bad it is. I have a lot of the "negative" symptoms, a profound deficit of positive affect. Nothing in life gives me pleasure, suicidal thoughts begin to surface, and I sometimes descend further into psychotic depression. These are my depressive episodes. I don't know how else to paint the picture more thoroughly because I never know what to say, and it really bothers me when I'm like that when I'm around my boyfriend. I want to talk, but I can never think of anything to say, so I rely on him to start conversations.

I don't get it... Dopamine has been posited to be a central neurotransmitter in the pathenogenesis of anhedonia, and I'm on multiple meds that supposedly on their own and in combinations with other meds I'm taking can treat anhedonia. What am I missing??

I'm on Dexedrine up to 60 mg as needed, Vyvanse 50 mg, Wellbutrin 200 mg, Viibryd 40 mg (increases dopamine via postsynaptic 5-HT1A receptor stimulation), Vraylar 3 mg... What else could possibly help?

There's no relief in sight when I'm like this.

  • Sad 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, mikl_pls said:

There's no relief in sight when I'm like this.

I don't have much advice, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone..........I have felt like this for months, maybe years...............I try to hold on to hope...

Edited by CrazyRedhead
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, CrazyRedhead said:

I don't have much advice, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone..........I have felt like this for months, maybe years...............I try to hold on to hope...

Thank you for your response. I'm sorry you go through this. I have, in the last year or so, felt better, but it comes in little bursts of a few weeks long, and then I go back into depression. I was okay for actually a whole year or so with high dose Abilify, but the Abilify was making me spend compulsively. Both my credit cards are still maxed out. I had to get off Abilify.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, mikl_pls said:

My mood has been absolutely deplorable for the past month or so. I honestly don't know how to begin to describe how bad it is. I have a lot of the "negative" symptoms, a profound deficit of positive affect. Nothing in life gives me pleasure, suicidal thoughts begin to surface, and I sometimes descend further into psychotic depression. These are my depressive episodes. I don't know how else to paint the picture more thoroughly because I never know what to say, and it really bothers me when I'm like that when I'm around my boyfriend. I want to talk, but I can never think of anything to say, so I rely on him to start conversations.

I don't get it... Dopamine has been posited to be a central neurotransmitter in the pathenogenesis of anhedonia, and I'm on multiple meds that supposedly on their own and in combinations with other meds I'm taking can treat anhedonia. What am I missing??

I'm on Dexedrine up to 60 mg as needed, Vyvanse 50 mg, Wellbutrin 200 mg, Viibryd 40 mg (increases dopamine via postsynaptic 5-HT1A receptor stimulation), Vraylar 3 mg... What else could possibly help?

There's no relief in sight when I'm like this.

 Would doc bump Wellbutrin? 

I know some docs who Rx cytomel for “the blahs”

Ketamine 

Edited by Iceberg
  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly, the ONLY medication to help with this the most for me has been Clozaril/Clozapine. I was constantly psychotic, depressed, paranoid, or manic. I had no pleasure. I felt like I was barely alive. Trileptal is helping as well, but I believe you are already on this? Paxil helps as well, mostly with the anxiety and OCD. Maybe you could try clozaril/clozapine and eliminate some of your other medications?

 

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Iceberg said:

 Would doc bump Wellbutrin? 

I know some docs who Rx cytomel for “the blahs”

Ketamine 

Yes, she would I believe.

I was on Cytomel 50 mcg by my NP and I had never felt better (more or less) and then I got referred to a endocrinologist who switched me to Synthroid (on 150 mcg now). I sorta felt the same "never been better" for a while but it kinda seems to have faded over time.

I've looked around and the closest ketamine clinic near me is one state over, about a 3-4 hour drive one way. Do you know if there are any ketamine clinics in Alabama or a way for me to find out? I did ask my pdoc this last time about Spravato (esketamine) and she said she likes it but she doesn't have a whole lot of patients on it so she couldn't exactly tell me whether I'd be a good candidate. I think next time I see her I'm going to request it.

4 hours ago, Butterflykisses said:

Honestly, the ONLY medication to help with this the most for me has been Clozaril/Clozapine. I was constantly psychotic, depressed, paranoid, or manic. I had no pleasure. I felt like I was barely alive. Trileptal is helping as well, but I believe you are already on this? Paxil helps as well, mostly with the anxiety and OCD. Maybe you could try clozaril/clozapine and eliminate some of your other medications?

 

I have honestly been thinking of asking for a (really) low dose of clozapine, something like 25-100 mg? I don't know if it would be effective as an adjunct or not. Yes I'm already on Trileptal 1200 mg, and it has helped in the past, particularly with my anxiety. Perhaps so, I do have a lot of meds. It would be nice to find a one-treats-all pill...

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Butterflykisses said:

Honestly, the ONLY medication to help with this the most for me has been Clozaril/Clozapine. I was constantly psychotic, depressed, paranoid, or manic. I had no pleasure. I felt like I was barely alive. Trileptal is helping as well, but I believe you are already on this? Paxil helps as well, mostly with the anxiety and OCD. Maybe you could try clozaril/clozapine and eliminate some of your other medications?

 

Clozaril alone not so much (but I think I was overdosed) but cloz+adderall was my best combo for that. I also mentioned ketamine before because it helped when we felt clozaril had no more to give but the expense is hefty. I’d definetly Pursue spravato  And please let us know how it goes if pdoc gives the green light! 

Edited by Iceberg
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Iceberg said:

Clozaril alone not so much (but I think I was overdosed) but cloz+adderall was my best combo for that. I also mentioned ketamine before because it helped when we felt clozaril had no more to give 

I would need to keep taking my stimulant for sure if I were on clozapine if not for the ADHD/hypersomnia (the latter of which would get much worse on clozapine) then also to help keep the weight gain down (I think weight loss as a goal on clozapine is next to impossible for me as olanzapine caused tremendous weight gain when I took it for just a week or two).

I would absolutely love to give ketamine a try. I just wish I didn't have to go to Georgia to get it. I could try rechecking that website, though, it's been a while. It was a supposed directory of ketamine clinics.

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Iceberg said:

I would assume the spravato might become more prolific if it works well 

Meaning more access

True.

I looked into where there might be some ketamine clinics near me, and not to my surprise, Alabama still has none... T_T The closest one is in Marietta, GA, about a 2.5 hour-ish drive. Traveling wouldn't be the only inconvenience, I don't know if I could afford ketamine treatments, nor do I know if my family could afford to help me out with it.

I'm wondering if ECT or TMS is another option that might help with all this... I know Huntsville Hospital does ECT, and there are I believe a few psychiatrists who do TMS (not rTMS though) around Huntsville which is very near by relatively speaking.

If none of those work, then I guess it would be time to start considering vagus nerve stimulation or deep brain stimulation... 😮 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Didnt lamotrigine work for you but you got bad acne? Your med list is...heroic for lack of a better description but what about adding the lamotrigine back then something else for the acne?

methylene blue? It is a rima, not sure how you can get some short of fish tank cleaner, but the could be a possibility if you’re completely out of options. And it makes your pee blue so that’s also a plus. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
35 minutes ago, argh said:

Didnt lamotrigine work for you but you got bad acne? Your med list is...heroic for lack of a better description but what about adding the lamotrigine back then something else for the acne?

methylene blue? It is a rima, not sure how you can get some short of fish tank cleaner, but the could be a possibility if you’re completely out of options. And it makes your pee blue so that’s also a plus. 

I actually asked my pdoc about that this past visit and she turned the idea down. I think she sees something I don't. Heh, yeah, I've been on quite a few meds before. I take minocycline for acne now, and have several topical medicines I'm (supposed to be) using. They've never helped in the past with lamotrigine-induced acne though. I've tried taking antihistamines with lamotrigine before in case it could've been a histmine thing, but it must not have because that didn't work either. Lamotrigine is "ehh" at best for me. When I first started it, it was a life saver, but it eventually pooped out and has never worked the same for me.

Methylene blue? I really doubt my pdoc would go for that, she has become rather conservative in her prescribing compared to how she used to be. It couldn't hurt to ask because I've been on EVERYTHING save for a few meds. Blue pee sounds interesting lol. How do you take methylene blue anyway?

Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, mikl_pls said:

I actually asked my pdoc about that this past visit and she turned the idea down. I think she sees something I don't. Heh, yeah, I've been on quite a few meds before. I take minocycline for acne now, and have several topical medicines I'm (supposed to be) using. They've never helped in the past with lamotrigine-induced acne though. I've tried taking antihistamines with lamotrigine before in case it could've been a histmine thing, but it must not have because that didn't work either. Lamotrigine is "ehh" at best for me. When I first started it, it was a life saver, but it eventually pooped out and has never worked the same for me.

Methylene blue? I really doubt my pdoc would go for that, she has become rather conservative in her prescribing compared to how she used to be. It couldn't hurt to ask because I've been on EVERYTHING save for a few meds. Blue pee sounds interesting lol. How do you take methylene blue anyway?

it seems you can get it at one of those nootropic stores. so failing getting it from your pdoc, that could be a solution. doesn't seem cheap though. i've seem it mostly as IV in the medical sense online, but i think there is one oral solution too. might be weird to get a 30 day supply of a drug that's  taken as a one off.

it is a damn shame we don't get RIMAs here. I wonder if you can somehow get an RX for that RIMA that starts with an M and get some from canadian mail order pharmacies. like you said, you've been on damn near everything.

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, argh said:

it seems you can get it at one of those nootropic stores. so failing getting it from your pdoc, that could be a solution. doesn't seem cheap though. i've seem it mostly as IV in the medical sense online, but i think there is one oral solution too. might be weird to get a 30 day supply of a drug that's  taken as a one off.

it is a damn shame we don't get RIMAs here. I wonder if you can somehow get an RX for that RIMA that starts with an M and get some from canadian mail order pharmacies. like you said, you've been on damn near everything.

I can't remember if it was here or if it was on crazymeds back when it was still up, but I tried to post thread about how to import meds from other countries with a prescription from my pdoc for the medicine in question that are used for depression that aren't available here, such as amisulpride, sulpiride, flupenthixol, reboxetine, etc., and my thread got shut down. I specifically stated in my thread that I was looking for a legal way to import the medications and take them under the supervision of my pdoc, and they said they were shutting it down because whichever site it was doesn't condone "illegally" importing medicines, and I was like, "IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST READ MY POST YOU'D SEE THAT I WASN'T-..." I dunno. It was a smack in the face for sure. I put a lot of time into carefully wording that post.

It is a shame that the FDA doesn't approve various medications that would probably actually work for some and increase treatment options.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Though I still experience it to some degree, I did notice some improvement when I started forcing myself to take Abby on brisk walks early every morning...it’s something I still loathe but I do feel a good degree better the rest of the day...I know everyone suggests exercise and I always wanted to tell them to fuck off, but now if I skip a day, I feel much worse. Ntm guilty as hell. It doesn’t help much if I don’t put much effort into it. But when I force myself to walk relatively fast, there’s definitely a pretty big improvement. Just a thought. 

PS if you already do this just tell me to shut up. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/15/2019 at 5:08 AM, mikl_pls said:

My mood has been absolutely deplorable for the past month or so. I honestly don't know how to begin to describe how bad it is. I have a lot of the "negative" symptoms, a profound deficit of positive affect. Nothing in life gives me pleasure, suicidal thoughts begin to surface, and I sometimes descend further into psychotic depression. These are my depressive episodes. I don't know how else to paint the picture more thoroughly because I never know what to say, and it really bothers me when I'm like that when I'm around my boyfriend. I want to talk, but I can never think of anything to say, so I rely on him to start conversations.

I don't get it... Dopamine has been posited to be a central neurotransmitter in the pathenogenesis of anhedonia, and I'm on multiple meds that supposedly on their own and in combinations with other meds I'm taking can treat anhedonia. What am I missing??

I'm on Dexedrine up to 60 mg as needed, Vyvanse 50 mg, Wellbutrin 200 mg, Viibryd 40 mg (increases dopamine via postsynaptic 5-HT1A receptor stimulation), Vraylar 3 mg... What else could possibly help?

There's no relief in sight when I'm like this.

I’m so sorry Mikl. I know how awful that is. Zyprexa really saved the day for me and I’m watching my weight closely and I’m actually losing weight slowly! I’m also on Abilify and lamictal and klonopin for pure psych meds.

 

 

I agree with the low dose clozapine suggestions. Higher doses really wiped me out and came with a high cost side effects wise IME.

What about symbyax (sp?)? 

120 mg of latuda?

Wellbutrin IR or SR?

celexa?

Upping the seroquel to a more therapeutic dose for the psychosis or trying the XR version (my personal preference)? Like 800 mg regularly?

How is your full panel of thyroid looking? Has that been done recently?

Sorry if unhelpful. Just trying to think of possibilities.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

I agree with the low dose clozapine suggestions. Higher doses really wiped me out and came with a high cost side effects wise IME.

What about symbyax (sp?)? 

120 mg of latuda?

Wellbutrin IR or SR?

celexa?

Upping the seroquel to a more therapeutic dose for the psychosis or trying the XR version (my personal preference)? Like 800 mg regularly?

How is your full panel of thyroid looking? Has that been done recently?

Sorry if unhelpful. Just trying to think of possibilities.

I had never thought of trying Symbyax, but I think it might be better if I just tried the two meds seperately, it might actually be cheaper.

Last time I was on Latuda 120 mg, I got parkinsonism, but I wouldn't mind giving it another try! My pdoc actually mentioned going back to Latuda as a possibility other than Vraylar, but I want to get to the 12 week mark with Vraylar before I give it up because that's when it reaches steady state. I've been on it 8 or 9 weeks now. At my next pdoc appointment I think we will see what's going on and make a decision from there.

I'm currently on Wellbutrin IR 200 mg, but have plenty of room to go up. I have to be careful though because of seizures.

I want to stay away from Celexa if I can because it's related to Lexapro which I had a horrible time with in high school. Also, the Lexapro sapped every ounce of will to do anything out of me, I was so lazy my room got piled up even worse than it is now! lol

I've thought about Seroquel XR before, but never gave it a try. I think I'd try that after Latuda but probably before Clozaril.

My thyroid is doing fine I believe. I'm on Synthroid 150 mcg and was doing very well until this recent bout of depression hit me.

Thanks for all your suggestions and your response!

Thank you everyone, btw!

 

1 hour ago, DammitJanet said:

Though I still experience it to some degree, I did notice some improvement when I started forcing myself to take Abby on brisk walks early every morning...it’s something I still loathe but I do feel a good degree better the rest of the day...I know everyone suggests exercise and I always wanted to tell them to fuck off, but now if I skip a day, I feel much worse. Ntm guilty as hell. It doesn’t help much if I don’t put much effort into it. But when I force myself to walk relatively fast, there’s definitely a pretty big improvement. Just a thought. 

PS if you already do this just tell me to shut up. 

That makes a lot of sense, as I'm very, very sedentary. I could start going to the park and walking or something, or just walk around at the house since we have a lot of space around our house. Just have to watch out for snakes is all... ugh!

I wouldn't tell you to shut up for making a suggestion to help me! Thank you for your suggestion!

Thank you, everyone, for your suggestions! :) 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, mikl_pls said:

That makes a lot of sense, as I'm very, very sedentary. I could start going to the park and walking or something, or just walk around at the house since we have a lot of space around our house. Just have to watch out for snakes is all... ugh!

Physical activity was one of the lifestyle interventions I tried while I didn't have a pdoc or meds. In my experience it helps some -- not nearly as much as fitness "influencers" claim, but enough to be worth the effort. I walked around inside my house and used a pedometer app on my phone

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Similar Content

    • By Inanlae
      So for seventeen years I've had pain depression.  It especially feels like it's squeezing my heart.  It hasn't historically been *about* anything.  I've just chalked it up to biochemistry, heredity.  And I've thought about suicide, most days, for at least fifteen years - because pain sucks.  Ups-and-downs.  Roller-coasters.  Probably every person on here has done time at the worst torture theme park in the world.

      Two years ago, my cocktail started working.  There was some CBT and DBT in the mix too.  I decreased my daily Ativan from 3mg to 2mg.  Plus 20mg Latuda, 300mg Sertraline, 100mg Topamax.  I actually felt happy, for about two years, until this October.  Then it stopped working.  And I stopped working.  I work in a level I trauma center, where I identify cancer, anemia, and the effects of the coronavirus on the human body.  I feel like I have a front row seat to human suffering, without being empowered to ameliorate it, and it's another kind of torture.

      I am very tired of fighting.  If there was a euthanasia travel agency, where I could just walk in, plan my funeral and end-of-life arrangements, plan my ideal death, and just call this thing at 38, that would be a somewhat attractive option (not telling, The Tallest Man on Earth, flaming-Viking-burial-at-sea.)  I'm tired of fighting this disease, personally.  And I'm tired of coming up against the tsunami of "world suck" (H/T Vlog Brothers) which seems to be hate-fucking itself ad astra.

      So the strain theory, which I haven't read much on yet, is that we consider the termination of our lives when under one or more types of strain.  I personally find this theory hopeful, as targeting the sources of strain, i.e. "world stuck," could reduce the inducements to terminate one's life.  The General Strain Theory, according to one Wik I. Pedia cites loss of positive stimuli, addition of negative stimuli, or the inability to reach a desired goal, as three possible sources of strain.  I will follow up on this with my tdoc on Wednesday.  I think work is introducing negative stimuli, and I have a shit ton of unreached goals, but am starting to care about goals less and less.  Basically, it pisses me off that I've had to dramatically reduce my goals due to my diseases, and it's kind of tempting to just leave the party.  Please feel free to weigh in if you have personal and or academic experience with this.

      I'm also meeting virtually with my pdoc tomorrow... to tweak the cocktail.  Would love recommendations.  My current rx mix, dxs and rx, failures are in my signature.  Lamictal induces hives and vomiting.  Depakote causes dyskinesia.  Lithium ruined the thyroid and causes acute renal failure.  Medicine.  Ha ha.  Organ roulette.

      So the observation about different species of depression is that while for a decade-and-a-half I experienced what seemed like purely biochemical, chains-around-my-heart, tar-and-shark-filled, basements-beneath-basements depression.  This feels more like a rational(?) depression, which has me concerned about whether it will be responsive to biochemical therapy.

       
    • By Isaiah2017
      I'm having a hell of a hard time and experiencing rather weird symptoms. Whether they've anything to do with Mirtazapine (Remeron) is something that I strongly feel but can't quite convince any doctor of.   I was put on 15 mg of it in spring 2015 for depression and a severe insomnia - I hadn't slept an hour like since 25 nights back then! The benefits showed immediately within a day and surprised myself and my family. I would sleep well and be in a very happy and cheerful mood.   Then however, from summer 2016 I developed some strange food intolerances; caffeine, sugar, fruits containing high amounts of fructose, yoghurt, butter and so on. Eating anything of that would cause me jitteriness and insomnia. I steered clear of those foods.   From autumn last year though, a lot of those food intolerances have relented and it changed into intolerance towards medicines and supplements that I was on; the thyroid medicine for hypothyroidism, Vitamin D, Calcium, Vitamin E and could never again tolerate any new medicine or supplement. Symptoms resulting from these are, again, jitters, insomnia and a strange kind of feeling of being struck on the head, like I can't hear anything and the thinking becomes very unclear and blurred. Coupled with this is a weird sensation that if a medicine has any potential side-effect (even physical, such as urine retention), I get it at all costs. So I'm steering clear of the culprits here too.   However, avoiding the culprits doesn't end my misery, it just helps in avoiding a whole new set of symptoms, because since autumn 2016 I'm under constant brainfog anyway, have heart palpitations immediately after every meal (but worst after breakfast), have concentration and focus issues, lead a life without any hobbies, wishes or desires. Nothing excites me, nothing interests me and nothing catches my attention. Leave tasks pending for months (the most unlike me habbit), have badly lost my sense of humour. My sense of humour was something that I literally used to pride on, and friends from around the world would call me to fresh up if they were having a dull day. My mind feels numb, although it isn´t as if it´s the sedating effect of the Mirtazapine because 90% percent of the nights I don´t sleep well, and on a lot of nights I feel as if I´m asleep with an awake mind!   The GP who put me on it considered it to be just the effects of anxiety and depression and recommended the doubling of the dose to 30 mg. When I contested that, given that I´ve my doubts of a lot of these issues being brought upon by Mirtazapine itself, she referred me to a psychiatrist. He too strongly denies of Mirtazapine having any hand to play on it and instead thinks it´ll be best to combine it with another antidepressant for day-time.   He put me on Paroxetine, boom, a flood of side-effects! Then changed to Fluoxetine (Prozac) - third day on it and having weird feelings. The heart poundings are one and is in fact making me very depressed and hopeless!
    • By Blahblah
      Even when my mood is stable (and I don't really feel depressed), I have excessive boredom... or is it laziness or Apathy? Especially since the confinement, nothing is open, nowhere to go, nowhere nice to even walk around to distract myself. I'm unemployed. It's been much worse. I can manage to do basic things on good days (like shower, exercise, go outside for a walk, cook, eat healthy)....but this literally is all I can do....
      I try to initiate something enjoyable (like reading a book, or doing something creative, listen to music) and I cannot engage. I have extreme resistance, cannot sustain any interest. It feels like a combination of boredom, resistance and apathy..... I do sort of enjoy some things (napping and watching netflix). But it is impossible to get myself to do anything productive. I feel lazy and worried I won't be able to function in a job.
      Since I do feel some pleasure in taking a shower, napping, I assume it isn't full anhedonia? There seems to be no cure for this, my pdoc seems to be pleased when I'm stable and not depressed. I've felt like this for many years and essentially just force myself to do everything....stimulants help me focus but they don't allow me to be interested in anything.... pdoc has no ideas & doesn't seem to think that this is depression.....or even worth treating. Help.
    • By Adolf
      "Best" as in being effective with fewer side effects. Which ones were the best for you? Which ones did you take? What condition(s) did you treat? What side effects did you get? How did the antipsychotics compare to "conventional" antidepressants?
      Can antipsychotics be an alternative to "conventional" antidepressants? What are the risks? What are the benefits? Do they make you a tomato with time? Psychiatrists prescribe them more often in recent times, it seems.
    • By Blahblah
      Have a strong itch to drop Effexor...(I won't go cold turkey). It stopped my dysphoric crying spells, but now, 10 months later, I'm feeling increasingly flat, apathetic, numb, no motivation (even after dropping to 75mg). I hate how all A/Ds have this lobotomy effect on me longterm. It's initially fine in acute episodes, I'm not sad now, but I can't function properly, and I continue to score Moderate-Severe on the depression scale.
      I think it's counteracting my Ritalin (which I increased to 30-40mg)? I don't want to increase Effexor above 150mg, I'd never be able to go off.
      I'm trying dosing at night instead, will this make any difference @mikl_pls ? I skipped yesterday's morning dose (then came the intense nausea, over stimulation & brain slosh awfulness @10 hours later) and I took my dose with dinner.
      I'm seriously considering going on low-dose mild SSRI instead (Prozac?) I'm sensitive to meds & side effects, and I'm also VERY worried about withdrawals. Especially from Effexor, they are the WORST, and I just read study that Effexor withdrawal syndrome is not dose-dependent:
      https://www.researchgate.net/publication/7402189_Venlafaxine_and_Serious_Withdrawal_Symptoms_Warning_to_Drivers
      https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/24/woman-shares-coming-off-antidepressant-ruined-life-7255570/
       
       
×
×
  • Create New...