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KnickNak

How do you find Desire when you’re depressed.

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Posted (edited)

Ok. So it’s no secret. I am depressed and have been for months. If I get a glimpse of happiness or hope. I know that it’s short lived. I have heard this over and over again  “No one or something can make you happy, you have to find it or want it.” When you lose desire, good luck. I have pretty much given up. I can whine all I want. But in reality it’s not whining anymore, it’s the truth. I try to focus on others and their happiness instead of how sad I am. How long do I have to pretend? I am waiting for my happy fairy. Man. I am a sad sack of shit. 

Edited by KnickNak

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Posted (edited)

Well like you mentioned, expressing your symptoms and your discomfort doesn’t mean you’re whining, especially on a board like this where lots of us have personal battles with the shittiness. I don’t think it’s true that no one or nothing can make a person happy. In fact I kinda call bullshit on that. It implies the whole you have to “pull yourself up by the bootstraps.” And that depression is yours alone to fix. It not. We all have our support system and we all have the things that help us cope. I’m not saying that people can’t be empowered or help themselves out, but just because it’s really grey right now doesn’t mean you’ve used up your chances and are now hopeless. Painful dips are a part of MI, but rebounding can be a big part as well. That said- I kno it’s not easy to keep looking “for the fairy” and I am really sorry that is where you are. I’ve also been there watching the happiness of everyone else (my tdoc used to say the whole “fake it til you make it” thing) and waiting for it to spill over. That sucks, and I’m sorry and I’m really hoping that fairy flies along for you soon. 

do you have any family/friend support? Is a doc treating you? 

Edited by Iceberg
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I was literally going to write the “ Fake It Til You Make It” quote. Haha. Thanks for understanding. It is Grey ATM. I have been here before. I tend to look back on these posts to see what kind of place I was mentally . I do have support. But my family’s support has transitioned to not listening to me anymore. And that I have to figure it out on my own and they can’t fix me. I just started seeing a new therapist last week, so far she seems great. I am hoping she can give me some tools. Without having to rely only on meds. I do see a pdoc as well for over 7 years now. Currently increasing the Seroquel a bit. Things have been bumpy. I am hoping this will pass soon and instead of being severely depressed I will just go back to feeling apathetic. Thanks for the response, it helps. 

1 hour ago, Iceberg said:

Well like you mentioned, expressing your symptoms and your discomfort doesn’t mean you’re whining, especially on a board like this where lots of us have personal battles with the shittiness. I don’t think it’s true that no one or nothing can make a person happy. In fact I kinda call bullshit on that. It implies the whole you have to “pull yourself up by the bootstraps.” And that depression is yours alone to fix. It not. We all have our support system and we all have the things that help us cope. I’m not saying that people can’t be empowered or help themselves out, but just because it’s really grey right now doesn’t mean you’ve used up your chances and are now hopeless. Painful dips are a part of MI, but rebounding can be a big part as well. That said- I kno it’s not easy to keep looking “for the fairy” and I am really sorry that is where you are. I’ve also been there watching the happiness of everyone else (my tdoc used to say the whole “fake it til you make it” thing) and waiting for it to spill over. That sucks, and I’m sorry and I’m really hoping that fairy flies along for you soon. 

do you have any family/friend support? Is a doc treating you? 

 

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Ya I hear this a lot too, and clearly if i was able to "find what makes me happy" I probably wouldn't be depressed.

Maybe you have to throw yourself into things until that spark happens?  Idk, I've been clinically depressed for nearly 2 years now.

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