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Coping with losing the genetic lottery.

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I fucking hate how ugly I am. 

I have naturally curly and wavy hair like that girl on Peanuts. It's really messy and whenever I try to comb it always goes back to the way it was as if I've never combed in the first place with 3 minutes. Everyone at school makes fun of me by calling me a "crackhead" and a homeless person because of my hairstyle.

I am also morbidly obese, weighing 237 pounds. I hate how fat I am and I used to wear jackets all the time even in the summer to try to hide my fat. I also try to hold my breath to be temporarily skinnier. I trying to lose weight but it's impossible as I don't have access to any gyms especially since I'm only 16 and I'm not really the well off type.

I also eat a shitton and I'm really impulsive about it. I'll try to commit to eating less and healthy but 5 seconds later I've downed a whole tub of ice cream and I've only realized it when it's too late and I feel guilt.

I've contemplated starving myself as a result to lose weight. 

Is anyone else going through similar stuff? Anyone have any advice?

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Firstly, curly hair is not ugly! It just needs a certain kind of care and not many people really know how to care for it. Have a Google for the "curly girl" method (not just for girls!) and you'll learn a bit. Curly hair shouldn't be combed when dry. If you must comb it, do it in the shower or just after the shower when it's still wet. Anyway, if you Google you'll find more info. You don't have to do the full method (I don't) but you can take any parts that work for you and roll with it. It'll take some patience and experimentation. Also, never underestimate the power of a good haircut. 

I'm not overweight but I relate with the impulsive eating. I'd start by looking at what you think could be driving your impulse to eat. Is it for comfort? Do you do it when stressed? When angry? To harm yourself? I do it for all of the above. Your doctor might be able to refer you to counselling for it. Otherwise, you could try finding an Overeaters Anonymous meeting in your area, if you are open to that. Are you taking any medications? Some meds can stimulate appetite. 

Being 16 is a really rough time. Teenagers are brutal. I got picked on for just about everything and my self esteem sucked. Hang in there. Haters gonna hate. Fuck em. What they say is a reflection of them, not of you. 

Gyms aren't the only way to exercise. A couple years ago I installed an app on my phone called couch to 5k. It got me from no running, no running 5km in about 9 weeks. From there I worked my way up to 10km. It was the healthiest I've ever been and it was free (aside from buying a really good pair of running shoes). But there's also walking which is a highly underrated exercise. An hour's walk each day could really help you. 

I know it's hard, but try not to focus on weight loss and instead focus on healthy lifestyle changes. Try changing just one thing at a time. If you try to change everything at once you won't be able to stick to it. You could try adding a starter salad to your lunch, or a big bowl of steamed vegetables, then follow up with a smaller portion of what you'd normally have. Foods high in fibre will help satiate you for longer. Just try and change one thing each week. You will face setbacks and that's okay. If you want to succeed I firmly believe you'll need to learn to be kind to yourself. Putting yourself down is very demotivating. 

I hope this doesn't all sound preachy. I certainly don't have it all together. I think really you'll come a long way by addressing the psychological aspect of your eating problems. Good luck! 

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Curly hair is beautiful...!!....I have curly hair and think it is one of my best features.......Although I do admit curly hair is more high maintenance than straight hair.......My hair is also red, so guess who got teased and called "carrot top" and "carrot girl" in elementary school?

I agree with @Melancholya that you shouldn't comb dry curly hair......I have to put some  leave-in conditioner and a little bit of gel on mine after I wash it, just to keep frizz down.....I do the whole "curly-girl" care routine, and you can look up tips for curly hair easily with google.

I'm not overweight now, but in the past I tried Seroquel and gained about 40-50 lbs.......I did stop the Seroquel at that point, and I lost the weight by giving up sodas for plain water, giving up dessert, junk food, and fast food,  and walking about 30 minutes per day......Walking is free--all you need is a decent pair of sneakers........I have maintained my weight loss by doing the same things, although I don't really walk as much as I should now.

Like Melancholya said, do small, healthy changes to your eating habits a little at a time, instead of a starvation diet.....You might lose weight with an extreme diet, but as soon as you start eating normally again, the weight will come right back......If you do small healthy changes to your routine, and maintain them, the weight you lose is more likely to stay off.

Edited by CrazyRedhead

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i don't think i've ever talked to someone who wanted to relive being 16 again. it's a truly, truly tough time of your life, especially with MI, and especially when you're being bullied. i just wanted to say that life does get better after high school. i was depressed as shit in HS and after, but life was still better. being 16 is hard as fuck. they should give out medals for surviving teenagehood.

redhead and melancholya have good advice about weight loss and curly hair care. i just wanted to add that i've always wished i had curly hair. it's not fair that people are making fun of you for something you were born with. it's pretty cruel to insult someone about something they can't help. 

do what makes you feel good. if you want to cut your hair, cut it. if you like it the way it is, keep it that way. being beautiful is an unfair bar to always try to grasp -- it's okay to just be you, even if it's not "beautiful". i didn't like how i looked for a long time, and what helped me was thinking of ugliness as a fake concept. there's no "ugly" people -- there's just people. there's no ugly hair, just hair you like and hair you don't like. you're okay the way you are. you don't have to change. what you do have to do is try to find a way to make peace with your physical body and feel okay living in it. for some people, that's entirely a mental journey. for some, it's physical, and for some, it's both. you are more than your body, but your body keeps you alive. it's okay to feel ambivalent about what your body looks like, but you're stuck with it as long as you're here. it's in your best interest to be comfortable with it.

i don't love the shape of my body. i maybe never will. i carry my weight in my stomach, which is annoying, and i don't like my chest. but my body and i are cool. i put clothes on it that i think are cool and it lets me do the things i want to do. i take care of it and keep it healthy, and it helps me ask for help, talk to people online, and walk my dog. we need each other. so we do our best to be civil to each other, and enhance each other.

for some people, imagining the body and self as two entities exacerbates how bad they feel about one or the other. but it helps me feel at peace with myself, and helps me better take care of myself. maybe it'll help you, too, but if it doesn't, don't worry. 

take care. what you're going through is tough. keep going.

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You could try the reddit recommended routine


I do that. Yes its body weight but there are easier progressions on there.

if nothing else, start with pushups and rows (you want balanced muscles, none of that 100 push-ups thing). Along with diet, you can progress as you lose the weight.

i use a power tower and rings but you can eventually get away with just a pair of rings.

Dietwise, you can try intermittent fasting


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You don't sound dumb and you can express yourself well with the correct spelling. I don't mean that to sound patronising because of your age or anything, because people twice your age can be barely coherent on the old internets. You won the genetic lottery in some ways by being smarter than the dumb fucks who mock you. Being 16 and going to school can be awful, but many people grow up eventually and stop acting like such dicks. Not all of them unfortunately, but the dickheads are easier to ignore when you don't have to see them every day.

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I am losing weight using meal replacement shakes plus phentermine which is a prescription drug for obesity. I started at 233 lbs now 216lbs in a couple of weeks. Might be worth speaking to your doctor or a dietitian.

Edited by mcjimjam

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