Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

I had a horrible day at work. It was bad and yet, it was par for the course.

I can't do my job. I can't handle the pressure. I'm such a failure and a fuckup. Due to <<reasons>> I cannot get disability in the US, where I currently live. I cannot work part-time. I have limited options for finding new work -> please, just trust me that US immigration law is fucked up and there's only so much I can do. I refuse to return to Canada and live with my parents. My brother, who was the only good reason to go back to where I grew up, moved to the UK.

I am socially isolated and I can't get any kind of grip on this depression enough to try to work on the increasingly debilitating social anxiety. It's not that I want or need a lot of people in my life, but right now I have very few people and it's not enough.

I really think I'm done. There's no quick answer. I can't even take time off work because of the status of the project I'm in charge of. But if I did take time off... what the fuck do I do? I can't, at that point, seem to make myself get out of bed and I just end up lost in my head and swimming in the pain of just being. When work is less bad, it is usually a distraction.

I can't live or work to my full "potential". I'm just this gigantic failure.

  • Sad 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I relate to this on so many levels.  I sat and reviewed job ads today for nothing more than to remind myself I don't have to be here forever.  Of course then I feel unqualified and inadequate, but I still saw a glimmer of possibility.  You're right about taking time off too, then I sit around too much.  it's hard.

Bummers aside, I just get up and do because that's what I do.  Just doing the routine for the sake of the routine gets me by until the dark cloud lifts.

my saving graces now are exercise (brief relief from endorphins) and my pets.  I hope you can find something like that to hang on to enough to get through. I try to remember that things change and can get better if you can hang on thru the worst of it.  I hope you can do that until better comes, because it can.  I'm rooting for you!

Ps my apologies if I sounded cheesy there in the last paragraph.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Geek ❤️

If you moved back to Canada would you have to live with your parents permanently? Do you have any friends up there that you can stay with temporarily? Could you get some kind of assistance right away? You certainly would be deserving of it. You suffer so. I hate that you do. If work is impossible, I hate to see it ruin you. You are so good. I’m just trying to think of options. 

Have you ever tried NAMI or DBSA meetings? As an outlet?

I’m sorry you continue to feel so hellish. I really am. If there is anything I can do please please please let me know. I care a lot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Geek said:

I can't live or work to my full "potential". I'm just this gigantic failure.

I'm sorry things are so bad for you right now, Geek, and that it seems like a lot of avenues to change things are closed off. I think Cheese asks a lot of good questions about the possibility of ways in which moving back to Canada for a while might be more manageable (and US immigration law can fuck itself so hard). Is there a possibility that you can take a couple of weeks off and get Pdoc to get you into some kind of IOP or partial hospitalization program to both give yourself a break and stabilize? It's never good when we feel like we're out of options, and lots of times it's a least somewhat of a cognitive distortion tied to how bad we feel. 

I highlighted what you said above, because I think this "potential" thing is a bludgeon that many of us are beaten with that really screws us up, and that we beat ourselves with (I do it all the time). You seem like a decent person, and everyone fucks up at work sometimes (and maybe it's not as bad as you're telling yourself it is?). I doubt very seriously that you are a failure, even by those measures. That's just something you're telling yourself, and it's a lie. I hope you can stay safe and get relief from some of the pressure soon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Geek said:

I can't do my job. I can't handle the pressure. I'm such a failure and a fuckup

Shit man, I'm sorry to see you're in this predicament, even it's nothing new. I can empathise. I've been fired a bunch of times for underperforming. Some days I just stare at the screen, moving the mouse around an awful lot. I'm amazed I haven't been fired more often, frankly. 

17 hours ago, Geek said:

I am socially isolated and I can't get any kind of grip on this depression enough to try to work on the increasingly debilitating social anxiety. It's not that I want or need a lot of people in my life, but right now I have very few people and it's not enough.

That is a really difficult situation. Are there any other Canucks (I am a Limey) in your locality? Is there some common "thing" you could use to connect with people on meetup.com? I am "lucky" to have a family here but that comes with its own costs and downsides to my health. My wife and I barely talk and are absolutely only still together for the kids -_-

17 hours ago, Geek said:

I really think I'm done. There's no quick answer. I can't even take time off work because of the status of the project I'm in charge of.

You can take time off. You are protected to some extent by the law (I forget the name of the MI law) - you can't (easily) be fired for taking MI time off. My company sucked up me taking 3 months off nicely... and then engineered my firing. It was worth it in the end as I ended up at a place with much lower demands upon me. 

Also, you say you're in charge of a project. Could you transition to an IC (Individual Contributor) role like me? I've never managed anything and I think that has been a good decision. 

17 hours ago, Geek said:

But if I did take time off... what the fuck do I do? I can't, at that point, seem to make myself get out of bed and I just end up lost in my head and swimming in the pain of just being.

I don't know -_-  I have chronic anhedonia so I'm with you on that one. Are there any stimulants or benzos or ... anything that you could use temporarily to get yourself out there? Adderall/Ritalin are the only things that allow me to function else I'm SATW (Staring At The Wall) all day -_- 

17 hours ago, Geek said:

I can't live or work to my full "potential". I'm just this gigantic failure.

Yup, same here. I'm bright, convivial, witty... except I'm not because of my severe TR MI. It's good to cry over spilt milk frequently IMO, cos it's staring you in the face in our situations every single day. But most of the time you have to eat it and look elsewhere, as horrible as that is.

I wish I had a solution. I hope that empathy is a meagre second.

Pete

Edited by sming
removed duplicate post

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have no friends in Canada (barring a couple of CB-ers I've met once). I was a loser in high school (and middle school, and elementary school). I know nobody who is not connected to my parents. My brother and his fiancee were it, and he moved to the UK two months ago (she moved a year ago for school). I have nowhere to go except my parent's or a shelter.

I have never worked in Canada except as a minor. I don't know if I would qualify for disability benefits it's possible I would, because of agreements between Canada and the US, but even if I did... as we all know, those are never much. I do know that it would be 90 days after moving back before I would qualify for public health care. I know wait lists for psychiatrists are 1 year or more. I know therapy is not covered in the public system.

At the moment, amazingly, no one is upset with the quality of my work. But the stress, the pressure, the expectations... I nearly cried at work yesterday in front of multiple people (only one of whom is my supervisor, and I was not being scolded or berated or anything). No matter how hard I try, I can't get out of there after only 8 hours. It was a full hour later today than I said I'd stay from the moment I walked in.

I manage less experienced engineers in order to run projects. Doing their job I would be bored out of my mind. Doing my job, the pressure is too great. I don't know how to find an in-between. I have been at this company for 14 months. I was told this would be better than my last place, I was told that they don't want us working OT. When I have a project assigned, it's been very unusual to not work OT. On the plus side, they do pay me (straight time) for the hours, despite my being salaried. It's not worth it though.

Outside of work, I am no better. Just as depressed. Just as fucked up. I can't (or won't?) properly care for myself, my apartment or my dog. I stare at the wall, or I sleep. When I think about work, I panic and meltdown. Everything else just... I disengage.

I saw my pdoc at lunch today. She either doesn't believe me or doesn't know what to do. She doesn't seem worried. I wasn't doing very well at answering her questions. Sat there staring at the floor or the wall as I try to tell her that I can't keep going. That the long weekend was horrible, that work costs me more energy than I have. That I can't keep this up. She asked if I had self-harmed in the last week, and if it helped. I said that at least I could breathe afterward. She just nodded.

I called my tdoc one night this week. I'm supposed to practice good self care and have compassion for myself. She said in my session on Tuesday that maybe the reason meds don't help much is because my depression is less chemical than "intra-psychic". Doesn't that mean that it's my fault then? If I were trying hard enough, doing the right things, it would be... better. Tolerable, perhaps. I am weak for not making myself... function more. I can't have compassion for myself. I know she disagrees, and I know she would point out that I have compassion for people of all life situations. But it's different when it's me.

And now it's another weekend. Not a long one, for better or worse. But still two days of no people, no distractions, no nothing. And then it will be back to work.

How do you keep going? Or, why bother keeping going?

I'm sorry for the essay. I'm sorry for wasting your time and attention and everything. I'm a selfish, attention-seeking prick.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Geek said:

She said in my session on Tuesday that maybe the reason meds don't help much is because my depression is less chemical than "intra-psychic". Doesn't that mean that it's my fault then? If I were trying hard enough, doing the right things, it would be... better. 

I think you are doing the right things by talking out this and seeking solutions.  the chemical versus intra psychic thing doesn't make any sense to me.  The psychological changes to a person's chemistry and chemistry will influence the psychological.  The two are not separate, they are intimately connected.  I suppose that also means that with complex causes come complex solutions, and that is why so many of us have to try so many things to find relief.

I wish I had more encouraging words, so much of what you have said sounds so familiar, and I wish I could be more helpful.  But I also have been pondering about what a self centered (insert derogatory word here) I am, which may be why I can't get out of my own head enough to say something useful.  However I am compelled to keep replying because I so strongly relate.  I really hope it gets better.

Don't be sorry for what you've written.  I came to this board voluntarily because it makes me feel better to read this stuff and know im not the only one dealing with these things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Geek said:

How do you keep going? Or, why bother keeping going?

I'm sorry for the essay. I'm sorry for wasting your time and attention and everything. I'm a selfish, attention-seeking prick.

When it's bad I literally keep going one day or five minutes at a time. It sucks, but there it is. Because the alternative is not so great, as compelling as it might seem sometimes to give up. 

You're not wasting anyone's time here, Geek, and you're not selfish or attention-seeking for sharing what you're feeling and maybe looking for a little support. And your depression is not your fault, and I doubt that's even what your Tdoc meant. You're having a shitty time of it, and I'm sorry about that, but I hope you keep writing it out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, Geek said:

She said in my session on Tuesday that maybe the reason meds don't help much is because my depression is less chemical than "intra-psychic"

What the heck? I don’t understand what that means one bit. I’m angry that she said that to you and upset you like that.

Listen to me geek my dear. You have TRD. That is why meds only help so much/don’t help much. You are treatment resistant. It’s very sad but also true. Your own pdoc and others (if I’m remembering correctly?) have said so. It is absolutely *not your fault* that you have TRD. I don’t understand why your tdoc would say such a thing! If she tries bringing that up again I’d point out the *fact* that you have been diagnosed with TRD by a medical dr/a specialist/a psychiatrist!

You are never a bother or attention seeking or selfish here. We like you. We care. You are good stuff, I promise. Keep writing it out, as harp said.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/6/2019 at 9:00 PM, Geek said:

I was a loser in high school (and middle school, and elementary school). I

You must have been OK at least to end up as a developer and then a project manager... surely?  I'm sure you know this but thinking in terms of losers and winners is a sure way to feeling rotten. Everyone's gradations of crap and OK and quite good. No one's all-amazing or all-horrific-at-everything.

On 9/6/2019 at 9:00 PM, Geek said:

My brother and his fiancee were it, and he moved to the UK two months ago (she moved a year ago for school).

Could you piggyback their move and head to the UK? Being from there I can say that the MI support is awful but if being with your brother helps like 50%, it might make up for it? Plus there's a ton of tech jobs there (well, in London anyway).

On 9/6/2019 at 9:00 PM, Geek said:

At the moment, amazingly, no one is upset with the quality of my work

It's amazing isn't it? Some days I do very little indeed. It makes me think that Normals have an even easier time of it than I usually think: they must dick around having fun an awful lot. Whilst we "waste" our time suffering and being unable to think, they waste time pissing around reading sports news and going on social media.

On 9/6/2019 at 9:00 PM, Geek said:

I don't know how to find an in-between.

Could you become a senior dev or some other kind of IC (Individual Contributor)? Could you be the right-arm of the project manager i.e. you share their workload but they take the heat?

On 9/6/2019 at 9:00 PM, Geek said:

When I have a project assigned, it's been very unusual to not work OT.

As laborious and odious as changing jobs is, I'd leave. That's a company "smell". Unless a diktat comes from the top, it ain't gonna change soon.

On 9/6/2019 at 9:00 PM, Geek said:

I stare at the wall, or I sleep.

:( Same here. Have you tried stimulants? They at least relieve my TRD and severe anhedonia to the extent that I'm functional. Stimulants + Oxycodone means I can occasionally enjoy things for an hour.

On 9/6/2019 at 9:00 PM, Geek said:

That the long weekend was horrible, that work costs me more energy than I have.

:( Yup. You're right. As horrific as workdays can be, they're often defacto better than weekend days 😕 

On 9/6/2019 at 9:00 PM, Geek said:

How do you keep going? Or, why bother keeping going?

I don't know. And I don't know again. I ask myself these questions every night before sleep (at 7:30pm - the earliest I can knock myself out by. By that time, my Adderall has run out and hence there's zero reasons to be conscious).

Man I wish I had better answers. But if I did, I wouldn't be reading and replying to your post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pete

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, sming said:

You must have been OK at least to end up as a developer and then a project manager... surely?  I'm sure you know this but thinking in terms of losers and winners is a sure way to feeling rotten. Everyone's gradations of crap and OK and quite good. No one's all-amazing or all-horrific-at-everything.

Could you piggyback their move and head to the UK? Being from there I can say that the MI support is awful but if being with your brother helps like 50%, it might make up for it? Plus there's a ton of tech jobs there (well, in London anyway).

It's amazing isn't it? Some days I do very little indeed. It makes me think that Normals have an even easier time of it than I usually think: they must dick around having fun an awful lot. Whilst we "waste" our time suffering and being unable to think, they waste time pissing around reading sports news and going on social media.

Could you become a senior dev or some other kind of IC (Individual Contributor)? Could you be the right-arm of the project manager i.e. you share their workload but they take the heat?

As laborious and odious as changing jobs is, I'd leave. That's a company "smell". Unless a diktat comes from the top, it ain't gonna change soon.

:( Same here. Have you tried stimulants? They at least relieve my TRD and severe anhedonia to the extent that I'm functional. Stimulants + Oxycodone means I can occasionally enjoy things for an hour.

:( Yup. You're right. As horrific as workdays can be, they're often defacto better than weekend days 😕 

I don't know. And I don't know again. I ask myself these questions every night before sleep (at 7:30pm - the earliest I can knock myself out by. By that time, my Adderall has run out and hence there's zero reasons to be conscious).

Man I wish I had better answers. But if I did, I wouldn't be reading and replying to your post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pete

I had no friends in public school. There were a few people I met online, in a place similar to CB... but we grew apart when it came time to go to university. They went to private liberal arts schools. I was overcome by depression and isolated myself. I went to a small state school and got an engineering degree. I had some friends at university - a couple of guys I would meet with to do homework, primarily. Not people I was very close with though, and I don't know where they're at now.

I'm a mechanical engineer, and a project engineer. I run the mechanical design and engineering portion of a project, and provide technical/field support during the manufacturing, construction and commissioning phases. I could never be a project manager... but I do a lot for them. In many ways I am the right arm for them - they do higher level coordination, but I get involved in solving the everyday problems. The project I'm assigned to is actually under construction in my city, which is highly unusual -  my company has projects all over North America and Europe. It's just coincidence, really, that this project is in my city - though it is why it was assigned to someone from my office. As a result of its proximity (about 20 min drive from the office) I am expected to have greater than usual contact with the field. I have been instructed to schedule visits every other week, for 2-4 hours at a shot. The PM is not out of my office/city, so I will be doing more of their job simply due to proximity.

In my field (or the industry in which I work), individual contributors do no design work. They simply do drafting - they create installation drawings from 3D models created by my team. It is very dull - no critical thinking required and highly detail oriented. I find it torturous to do.

I do take stims. I have ADHD and the stims make a big difference in my ability to focus. Unfortunately, the Emsam I'm currently taking interacts with Vyvanse. My pdoc is letting me try some anyway - 20mg dose right now. Enough that I don't get much sleep... but not enough to help my focus.

I am scared to leave my current city. At least here I have a few people I know. My chosen family, my tdoc and my pdoc. If I leave here - whether to return to Canada, or out to the UK where my brother is... I have nobody, or almost nobody. My brother is not living in a big city, and I doubt I could get work where he lives. He commutes hours each day to the big city where he works (managing software developers). I cannot live or even temporarily stay with my brother - I am very allergic to cats, and they have 3.

I'm just... trapped. I don't know how to stop and be okay. I'm not sure it's possible.

I want to ask my pdoc to dope me up so I stop caring. Load me up on seroquel, zyprexa... haldol... I'd rather be a zombie than this.

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/5/2019 at 2:58 AM, Geek said:

I had a horrible day at work. It was bad and yet, it was par for the course.

I can't do my job. I can't handle the pressure. I'm such a failure and a fuckup. Due to <<reasons>> I cannot get disability in the US, where I currently live. I cannot work part-time. I have limited options for finding new work -> please, just trust me that US immigration law is fucked up and there's only so much I can do. I refuse to return to Canada and live with my parents. My brother, who was the only good reason to go back to where I grew up, moved to the UK.

I am socially isolated and I can't get any kind of grip on this depression enough to try to work on the increasingly debilitating social anxiety. It's not that I want or need a lot of people in my life, but right now I have very few people and it's not enough.

I really think I'm done. There's no quick answer. I can't even take time off work because of the status of the project I'm in charge of. But if I did take time off... what the fuck do I do? I can't, at that point, seem to make myself get out of bed and I just end up lost in my head and swimming in the pain of just being. When work is less bad, it is usually a distraction.

I can't live or work to my full "potential". I'm just this gigantic failure.

@Geek I could've written this, I have TRD as well. My emotional & mental bandwidth is narrow. I can't sustain work pressure long-term, yet I'm highly functional at times,  I absolutely need work to avoid drowning in painful thoughts and sadness. Weekends are just as bad, I just end up ruminating, sleeping too much and staring at the wall.  Like @sming I've been conveniently let go (several times) after taking medical leave and it all makes me feel like I'm totally incapable, damaged. A failure.

My 2 cents:

1.) Consider related jobs that might be less demanding, even if it's slightly lower level position? But with no required OT...I'm in the same boat, living abroad, no friends back home IRL (or anywhere for that matter), they are consumed with lives/family and forgot about me. My aging parents are difficult to be around and I'd struggle and isolate even more going back to live with them.

2.) Stay active & maintain self-care on weekends. To me this means, going out for a walk, eating properly, trying to go to the gym. Look at Meetups or an MI Support group. Like @sming I use stimulant (ritalin) to cope and stay active, make to-do lists, get on top of things. No cure, but it helps me move a bit. The more you withdraw and avoid life, the worse depression will get! If I could have a pet in my flat I would, furry companion to care for...

3.) What about a study or post-grad program abroad? In UK - you could live with your brother or roommates and study full time? (I realize studying is a huge priviledge not everyone can afford), but after a string of lay-offs, this is what I had to do to avoid complete breakdown and hospitalization. It's been a perfect balance of learning, mental stimulation (with less pressure) plus socialization with students, I wish I could stay in school full time longer. It doesn't "solve" the work problem (I'll need to start job search) but it will  give you respite, buy you time, accomplishment. Better than being in the hospital (not cheap either!) or holed up unemployed with my parents, feeling like the biggest loser.

Keep writing & fighting. We're here for you.

{Big Edit] I just read your last post which already addresses my suggestions (I'm sorry they may not be helpful after all, or you've already considered all of them) 😞 I wish I had more answers....

 

Edited by Blahblah
  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, Geek said:

My pdoc is letting me try some anyway - 20mg dose right now. Enough that I don't get much sleep... but not enough to help my focus.

So you must be taking 12mg of the Emsam, for the PDoc to consider interactions since under 12mg it only inhibits MAO-A IIRC. I am considering Emsam (for some reason. Probably sheer desperation). It sounds like it isn't helping you a great deal :( 

14 hours ago, Geek said:

I want to ask my pdoc to dope me up so I stop caring. Load me up on seroquel, zyprexa... haldol... I'd rather be a zombie than this.

Yeah I've wished for this many a time. The meds that have totally zoned me out make me even more tired, listless and depressed in my experience. You just can't win 😕 Pretty much any TCA I've tried has done that.

4 hours ago, Blahblah said:

Consider related jobs that might be less demanding, even if it's slightly lower level position?

Agreed.

4 hours ago, Blahblah said:

But with no required OT.

A must.

4 hours ago, Blahblah said:

going out for a walk

This is about the only thing I can tolerate on the weekends. You don't have to interact with anyone. It sometimes enables a change of perspective. I listen to podcasts (Dan Carlin's Hardcore History) if I'm not ultra anhedonic. I always wear my headphones though to discourage randoms from striking up conversation
e.g. "What lovely weather, eh?!"
"Actually I couldn't care less about the weather because I strongly wish I was dead. Have a nice day."

4 hours ago, Blahblah said:

{Big Edit] I just read your last post which already addresses my suggestions (I'm sorry they may not be helpful after all, or you've already considered all of them) 😞 I wish I had more answers....

 

Ultimately @Geek we need you to find a set of meds that actually enable you to function and not suffer greatly. The this end, I assume you've tried all the med classes, TMS, ECT and all that jazz?

Edited by sming
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Geek, first off, I'd like to say that I'm terribly sorry you're going through this. For what it's worth, though, I understand to a great degree what you're going through. I don't know if that's of any solace or comfort though, but I figured I'd at least say I can totally empathize with you, as well as others here on CB. Kinda cheesy, I know, but when things are really dark and seem hopeless, remember that today will never happen again, and things can't suck forever. 

On 9/6/2019 at 8:00 PM, Geek said:

She said in my session on Tuesday that maybe the reason meds don't help much is because my depression is less chemical than "intra-psychic". Doesn't that mean that it's my fault then?

I think what she was probably trying to say (and shouldn't have said what she actually said) is that your depression may be endogenous rather than exogenous, meaning it is the result of an internal, biological factor rather than an outside stressor (I believe is how that goes...). It's also called melancholic depression, in contrast from atypical depression. Supposedly tricyclics work better for endogenous/melancholic depression, but then again, I've also read that endogenous depression results from an "abnormal" opioid system, not an "abnormal" monoaminergic system, which could be where she was trying to specify the reason antidepressants/meds don't work well for you.

23 hours ago, Geek said:

I do take stims. I have ADHD and the stims make a big difference in my ability to focus. Unfortunately, the Emsam I'm currently taking interacts with Vyvanse. My pdoc is letting me try some anyway - 20mg dose right now. Enough that I don't get much sleep... but not enough to help my focus.

I was going to make the suggestion to ask your pdoc if you can take a stimulant with your Emsam. Stimulants are "classically" contraindicated with MAOIs, but they can be taken safely concomitantly if done properly. There are experts who say that methylphenidate is better to take with an MAOI as amphetamines can cause serotonin syndrome, but I've safely taken an MAOI + stimulant as well as an MAOI + stimulant + TCA and lived to tell about it... lol. It would be prudent to stick with methylphenidate though if taking a stimulant with an MAOI, especially if you're taking a TCA with it too. But amphetamine, if started low and increased slowly, could be safe too, like Vyvanse, which you could take up at 10 mg increments every month or so and establish the lowest effective dose for depression and ADHD at the same time, which might be lower than you would be accustomed to taking if not taking an MAOI as MAOIs boost stimulants' efficacy (and stimulants boost the MAOI's efficacy). Wow, I hope I worded that in a way that you can understand... I have a tendency to talk in circles sometimes.

I don't know much about medicines in Canada, is Vyvanse the only amphetamine-based stimulant legal there? 

Also, a friend of mine said her pdoc sometimes takes Emsam into supratherapeutic doses, like 15-24 mg, using multiple patches. At 6 mg I believe it is said to only inhibit MAO-B, but at doses 9 mg and above, it starts to inhibit MAO-A as well. Theoretically, supratherapeutic doses 15 mg and above would more potently inhibit MAO-A dose-dependently, creating more of an antidepressant effect as the dose goes higher. It may be expensive to do this though, as you'd be either paying for two different doses of a brand-only med, or paying for double the amount of patches, which insurance companies absolutely despise covering anything above their "quantity limits." However, I don't know if this is the case in Canada or not.

If you do add a TCA, I would suggest either desipramine or protriptyline. Nortriptyline is good, but didn't work well for me. The former two have worked very well for me in the past, especially desipramine.

 

I hope you are able to find some relief soon. Best of luck to you and keep us updated!

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Geek...shit.  I get feeling like a fuck up at work and overcome.  I do.  

And as someone who has (hopefully I'm not talking out of turn) met you, I do have to say - you're amazing.  Really.  You might not feel that way but you're great to be friends with here and it was fun hanging out with you IRL.  I like you.  I care.  

You do have TRD and I don't know what to suggest.  I was going to say though, here, there are some publicly-funded therapists, but at least in this province, our delightful premier I think it trying to remove that for depression (GRRR).  Which is something to consider.  I have been able to get specialists including pdocs faster, but again, where you are will affect that.  I'm in a major centre.  

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...