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Your values

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My therapist gave me this and I love it
What blows my mind about it is that
1. Everyone will have completely different answers, and all the answers are equally good, objectively
2. I can choose my values


That number 2 is a really big deal. Say I wanted to be a millionaire by 40, and then I lost my job, well, theoretically, I could just change my number 1 value to friends, and spend more time with my friends. Ok, it's not that easy, but just that sense of choice is very liberating. I had this kind of tunnel vision, thinking the way I had in my head of being happy was the only way, and this little photocopy made me realize that if one of those doors closes I can find something else on the list and work on that. You know?

I think sometimes our culture tells us we need to fill no. 1 into all those boxes and have each and every one of them and spend 24/7 chasing each and every one of them, nonsense. I also like how it helps me understand other people. For me free time is higher than wealth, but someone who rates wealth higher might be perplexed I choose free time, because they don't see values as subjective, that's fine! That's their deal. I don't need to feel embarrassed about working part time, because it lines up with my values... Peace, calmness, health, free time [no need to mention i'd fall apart and be let go if i tried to work more hours]

Seeing this as feasible is a sign I'm not depressed right now, I get that, this will be impossible when I am depressed. All those values will look equally important and unobtainable

Edited by Antecedent
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Thank you. I clumped a couple together and got a top 7

i have few close relationships- immediate family, siblings, friends. I lumped those all into number 1.  I do try to keep in touch and have good communication. It makes me certain I want to keep trying to be more attentive.

stability- financial, mental, physical.  I don’t need wealth but I want to be secure.

humor and fun

peace. Inner peace, less anxious

nature- I don’t think about this, but I do enjoy nature




interesting exercise. I think I will bring this to my tdoc for something to talk about

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I think one and two are related. Everyone has different answers because nobody has the answers. If nobody knows shit then you should choose for yourself what's important to you, as long as it isn't chaining up hitchhikers in your basement or anything like that. But most people probably want the same things - love and a sense of belonging, meaning and purpose. I don't mean to sound like a hippy but money often seems like some fake proxy of these things. If I lived in a mansion and had a fleet of sports cars then I'd be a miserable person who lived in a mansion and had a fleet of sports cars. So smash the system or something.

But my 10 Commandments -

1. Try not to be a dick.

That'll do. The other 9 would just be various philisophical arguments based on the central tenet of not being a dick. But best to keep it simple coz I'm not Jesus or anything. Yet.

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