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My first major depressive breakdown was a month and a half before my first end of term.  and i stuck myself in my house, never answering the door or the phone for a week.  got in trouble for dat.  the rest of the story is lurking somewhere in this forum so anyhow.

i'm currently set at 30% disability.  well i haven't had a real job in 2 years, and even then, after military service, i couldn't keep a job longer than 8 months (most only lasted 3-6 months).  this went on for six years then i decided to try college.  well failed that the first time around (don't worry i don't quit when beat).  now, noone near where i live will hire me, and if i was to move to get a job, it would last about 3 to 6 months before either i breakdown into depression, or really piss off my superiors (it's usually both)

i'm trying to do one of two things; 1) start my own business or 2) get better disability.  most people recommend the disability thing first then work from there.  wich sounds quite sound.

i have an appt w/ a veterans pdoc next wed to establish my increase in my disposition.  i could use the money to help myself and to better my position in those damn tax brackets since i didn't even make enough to file this last year.

any other veterans here with some advice would be greatly appreciated.

US Navy, Fleet Air Recon Squadron THREE, ComStratCom Wing 1, avionics communications tech.  Went from unfrocked E-5 to E-2 after my breakdown.

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I'm a vet, too.  3 years active duty and 8 in the reserves in the Army Security Agency as a cryptologist/intel traffic analyst.  Still I know next to nothing about disability.  Somehow, at least so far, I have always been able to work and can continue in my current job as long as no one finds out I'm actually stupid now ;)


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thnx Air marshal, i knew of them, however i'm using a "nurse/counselor" under contract for the VA to help me.  so that part is good, i think.

I guess i'm just anxious and nervous because if i was to stay at my current disability rating, i will continue to become more indebted, for i can not find very much paying work around where i live.  Only my family will continue to "hire" me from time to time.  but as many of you know, family don't pay well.  especially in farming.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey, I'm a vet, too.

Had my 1st C+P a week ago.

there's a great site, hadit!.com. they have a message board,


sorry, hit caps. but really, they are great over there.

I had filed for my back, and MMD/GAD.

Minor preexizsting MDD, but after 10 years, yeah, I'm pretty crazy.

Had an IMO last June, gaf listed as 60.

VA doc had me at 50-55.

I assume I will be SOL in getting an ok amount the 1st

time up.

I'm trying for at least 50%. I had to quit Effexor due to money

issus, so health coverage, even though VA, is better then none.

Please DONT give up when you deal with the VA.

U.S. Navy 1995-2005

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my 1st c&p said i was only 30%, but looking through the DSM IV i've found out that with the problems i have with work/family/friends/etc... is at least enough to get 50%.  I'm not greedy, just indebt and broke from medical expences.  The VA near me usually rotates their good pdocs so i only get the left overs that just "go through the motions"

This second c&p, last week, was more in depth and covered how MY life is affected ....




Reconron ooorah  ;)

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well, the advice given to me was that the sooner I

can take "control" over the interview, the better.

Hadit! has great tips for how to say stuff:


It was also recommended to me to present as if

it was my worst day ever.

So I did just that. Drity hair, frumpy clothes.

I feel that really helped lower my gaf.

Like you, not greedy, just really, really broke.

Shit, I always just read the 1st part of posts, sorry if this

didnt help at all.

But I'll leave this up here in case it helps any others.

Duh. ;)

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I was classified as an avionics & communications technician, sounds kewl when you tell your parents that you were class honor man to such.

already had the c&p, but i dressed very.... casual yet ...whatever... any way i looked better than i had in six plus months, someone told me to take a picture of me at xmas time when i looked like shit, just to get the doctors attention.

luckily i didn't need it, the doc was very intuitive and observant to past details in med recs.

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i've got a meeting with my continuing education counselor tomorrow.  try to convince them it may take more than normal methods in this more than normal circumstance.  everyone tries to slow me down, though sometimes i need it, it (them slowing down my progress) is usually what causes my frustrations.  which just makes things worse...




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  • 4 weeks later...

Its been a month since my last c&p. Haven't heard anything official yet. I had an inside person say that the pdocs evaluation stated that my BP had worsened and since the fact i haven't been able to get a job in the last two years plus withdrawing from school "helped" in that in her terms "have a chance of getting more support"

i guess only time will tell. I just wish it didn't take 6 months for government paperwork.

then again it is up to the board for the recommendation for more compensation.

The hardest thing for me is knowing that it was my MI that caused my unauthorized absence, and for that they (my bitch of a skipper) busted me down from E-5 to E-2. ;) It REALLY sucks because i was the first one in my rate to make E-5 in 3.5 years without a field promotion since like Vnam. Even got one of those stupid letters for such.

I'm trying to see if I can get my old rank back, a matter of pride i suppose, probably trivial. BUT, there was no excuse to bust me down and give me shitty work after workin my ass off for 3 years to get where i got and just because i had a panic attack. But the skipper had it in for me (the rest of the squadron loved me) I got shit done!

just ranting because i can

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