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scared of asking for time off at work

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is anyone else seriously bad at this? i keep waiting until day before to tell my boss i need to come in/leave an hour early because of pdoc/tdoc appointments. he's always reacted well and doesn't mind in the slightest, but i did get scolded today for not giving more notice. it's so embarrassing. why do i keep doing this?

it's an anxiety thing, i guess. and a workaholic thing. i feel like i cannot ask for time off. it doesn't matter how reasonable it is. i have such a hard time doing it, and it always fills me with anxiety that leaves me frozen for the 15 minutes or so before asking. 

has anyone else dealt with this? how have you worked around it? i feel awful about being scolded. i know i need to give more notice, but it's so scary that i leave it until i can't leave it any longer. agh!!!

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i'm glad you understand me with the anxiety, harp -- the cognitive reasoning is probably a good idea. that's generally how i try to handle my other anxieties, but i always forget to reason it out with this particular issue. it's so scary!!

my pdoc had a suggestion for why i struggle with this so much. she says i have strong avoidant traits (as in AvPD), and i feel like that's eventually going to result in a full dx, if she hasn't already made her mind up about it (i didn't ask). it explains a lot about me. i might blog about it later.

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