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What questions do you still have that have never been answered?

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Most of my questions relate to why I ended up losing the genetic lottery and ending up with bipolar instead of most of my six siblings, including the really shitty narcissistic one, but that's probably not what you meant with your question. 

On another note, as a cis female not getting any younger, I am curious what course my bipolar and anxiety will take as my hormones change and whether the bipolar will go out of control. That's something I have increasing concerns about. 

But did you have anything specific in mind when you asked this question?

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55 minutes ago, Unstrung Harp said:

Most of my questions relate to why I ended up losing the genetic lottery and ending up with bipolar instead of most of my six siblings, including the really shitty narcissistic one, but that's probably not what you meant with your question. 

On another note, as a cis female not getting any younger, I am curious what course my bipolar and anxiety will take as my hormones change and whether the bipolar will go out of control. That's something I have increasing concerns about. 

But did you have anything specific in mind when you asked this question?

The point was to hear any questions that you had. I did not have anything in mind in particular.

I also have 5 siblings and I am  the only one with bipolar. I think it has to do with a combination of genetics and environment. It is not 100% genetics. There are other factors such as food, exercise, viruses, food intolerances, metal toxicity, emotions (they van change gene expression)

In relation with getting older, hormones declining and affecting mental health I have the same doubt and fear.

Thank you for your reply
 

Edited by CookieN

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How do people who can work but have a rough time doing it actually keep getting up every day and going? I know everyone’s different. This is a serious problem for me. I work full time because I need to, to avoid being homeless. Yet at least a couple times a week I’m so exhausted I can’t function and stay home. You’d think it’d be enough to remind myself I don’t want to be homeless again. The loss of pay makes things hellish. Yet some mornings I’m so exhausted and sad I don’t go. I’m getting a sleep study soon for sleep apnea (my own request, not the dr’s recommendation) and if that’s an issue, maybe treatment for that will help. I’m just mad at myself for not getting it together. My pdoc is no help; insurance doesn’t allow me to change doctors at this time. The pdoc said, “Just go.” I think it just lies with me. I need to force myself, no matter what. Fed up with MI, fed up with myself. What do others who work do? It may sound simple, but it’s not. 

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6 hours ago, AyYiYikes said:

How do people who can work but have a rough time doing it actually keep getting up every day and going? I know everyone’s different. This is a serious problem for me. I work full time because I need to, to avoid being homeless. Yet at least a couple times a week I’m so exhausted I can’t function and stay home. You’d think it’d be enough to remind myself I don’t want to be homeless again. The loss of pay makes things hellish. Yet some mornings I’m so exhausted and sad I don’t go. I’m getting a sleep study soon for sleep apnea (my own request, not the dr’s recommendation) and if that’s an issue, maybe treatment for that will help. I’m just mad at myself for not getting it together. My pdoc is no help; insurance doesn’t allow me to change doctors at this time. The pdoc said, “Just go.” I think it just lies with me. I need to force myself, no matter what. Fed up with MI, fed up with myself. What do others who work do? It may sound simple, but it’s not. 

You are very brave for working  everyday in spite of your symptoms. Have you checked if there is something else going on besides the mental heal issues and sleep apnea? Thyroid dysfunction and adrenal issues can cause fatigue.

To answer your question. I think people who do work with mental health symptoms do what you are doing. They make themselves work. 

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6 hours ago, AyYiYikes said:

How do people who can work but have a rough time doing it actually keep getting up every day and going? I know everyone’s different. This is a serious problem for me. I work full time because I need to, to avoid being homeless. Yet at least a couple times a week I’m so exhausted I can’t function and stay home. You’d think it’d be enough to remind myself I don’t want to be homeless again. The loss of pay makes things hellish. Yet some mornings I’m so exhausted and sad I don’t go. I’m getting a sleep study soon for sleep apnea (my own request, not the dr’s recommendation) and if that’s an issue, maybe treatment for that will help. I’m just mad at myself for not getting it together. My pdoc is no help; insurance doesn’t allow me to change doctors at this time. The pdoc said, “Just go.” I think it just lies with me. I need to force myself, no matter what. Fed up with MI, fed up with myself. What do others who work do? It may sound simple, but it’s not. 

wondered myself. I have worked in some high pressure, management jobs, public positions, etc...........and was crumbling inside, Going to an iop at night, but getting it done at work........out of work i couldnt function. I had to have people get my groceries

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Adds structure. I don't have much going on personally. Friends all married, having kids, etc, then there's me.

Basically what else am I going to do.

I think a lot of people with MI do the same

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How the hell do Some people get away with monotherapy?

we all have comorbid shit? They have more “pure” and endogenous issues?

really wtf.

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13 hours ago, argh said:

How the hell do Some people get away with monotherapy?

we all have comorbid shit? They have more “pure” and endogenous issues?

really wtf.

Yeah this never ceases to amaze me as well 

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14 hours ago, argh said:

How the hell do Some people get away with monotherapy?

we all have comorbid shit? They have more “pure” and endogenous issues?

really wtf.

In my opinion a certain medicine works for more than 1 issue. For example antideoressants can work for depression, but also anxiety and ocd. Also there are symptoms that ate common to different illnesses 

16 hours ago, argh said:

Adds structure. I don't have much going on personally. Friends all married, having kids, etc, then there's me.

Basically what else am I going to do.

I think a lot of people with MI do the same

I really do not follow the typical life (marriage, kids). I keep busy in self growth. (Exercising, eating healthy, meditating, learning a new language). Follow your passions

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17 minutes ago, CookieN said:

In my opinion a certain medicine works for more than 1 issue. For example antideoressants can work for depression, but also anxiety and ocd. Also there are symptoms that ate common to different illnesses 

I really do not follow the typical life (marriage, kids). I keep busy in self growth. (Exercising, eating healthy, meditating, learning a new language). Follow your passions

ha yeah. i just need to figure out what those passions are.  that's still up in the air but now on the table as i get better.

i get the whole overlap...but it's like damn,  what a nice perfect box. that was the goal for me..one med to rule them all...guess not for the time being, lol

Are you stable on a single med?

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2 hours ago, CookieN said:

I really do not follow the typical life (marriage, kids). I keep busy in self growth. (Exercising, eating healthy, meditating, learning a new language). Follow your passions

And bear in mind that self-growth sounds like bullshit at the depressive end.

Just saying

A mood-driven post, but then what's not

Edited by Will
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1 minute ago, Will said:

And bear in mind that self-growth sounds like bullshit at the depressive end.

Just saying

Self-growth is really important for me. Actually is my main purpose in this life. 

1 hour ago, argh said:

ha yeah. i just need to figure out what those passions are.  that's still up in the air but now on the table as i get better.

i get the whole overlap...but it's like damn,  what a nice perfect box. that was the goal for me..one med to rule them all...guess not for the time being, lol

Are you stable on a single med?

I am on 2 meds. But yes, I was stable with monotherapy for many years

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32 minutes ago, CookieN said:

Self-growth is really important for me. Actually is my main purpose in this life. 

I am on 2 meds. But yes, I was stable with monotherapy for many years

I'm happy for you.  Don't get me wrong.

But in a mixed episode like I'm in now I seem to have 2 "choices"...rage or despair 

Just glancing at an article about David Foster Wallace taking Nardil.  My mother took Nardil for years, a dangerous proposition.  And it didn't help.  There are reasons some people deal w/ hopelessness differently than others

Edited by Will
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and at this point in my episode several years ago,

lysergia asked, "Will, are you safe."

Yes, I'm always fucking safe due to my drive for self preservation

and that is my Infinite Jest

Edit:  better now, and for lack of a better term gonna call that a sine wave

Edit again:  I have a pretty good memory of past conversations on this board it appears.  I liked input from  lysergia

Edited by Will
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5 hours ago, Will said:

Yes, I'm always fucking safe due to my drive for self preservation

I relate to this and I'm also ridiculously bad at SI.  

Edited by Unstrung Harp

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And I view all of that now as self indulgent.  Hard to find peace

I've tried burning but that wasn't too much fun

bed rest may be in order so my question for the thread is the eternal 

"Why/"

Edited by Will
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