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Targeted ads on CB

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I don't own a car, or have a license. Maybe this is responding to the mutant unicycle above?

 

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Uniqlo thermal underwear now.

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I opened this on my phone because I had to play along and my computer blocks ads.  I got an add for condominiums in downtown NYC for “only” 300K and super fancy clothing.

how has my phone/the internet been convinced I have a ton of money?  I’d at least like to have a chunk of what the internet thinks I have.

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personalized gold necklaces. i almost never wear necklaces, and when i do, they're certainly not solid gold.

also: a TV show i've never heard of, hosted by a streaming service i don't subscribe to, and very feminine discount sweaters.

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Ad for compensation paid to 2nd generation children of Holocaust victims. 

I’m about as protestant born, flaxen blonde, and blue eyed as they come (though my hair is currently dyed red). 

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Well here's a new one (for me):

ad.thumb.PNG.bbdc46c20559f3b2998719aa2269b315.PNG

I don't even have a monitor for it to fit under. Frankly, I don't even use a desk. I have my own lap, the arm of a couch or my kitchen table.

And "kapow"? Really? Plus, I think it's going to take a lot more than 5000 lossless albums at the touch of a button to make the world a better place. 

I don't think a lot of professional effort went into creating this particular ad. It looks like a last minute homework assignment someone turned in for a class they don't care about. Create an ad for "x" product, due Monday. The font choice is even terrible. Not to mention the punctuation. I think there's a period missing at the end. And I'm pretty sure they're abusing the hyphen when an em dash would be more appropriate. Not sure. 

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25 minutes ago, saintalto said:

Ad for compensation paid to 2nd generation children of Holocaust victims. 

I’m about as protestant born, flaxen blonde, and blue eyed as they come (though my hair is currently dyed red). 

I’ve been getting a lot of those too.

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A shoe with an "aggressively grippy" sole: Speedgoat 4 GTX. Because nothing says athletic prowess and sexiness like our friend the swift and sure-footed... goat.

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As Rabbit noted, I cracked under the pressure and inadvertently posted this in the questions thread. I’ll post it here, too, for continuity’s sake.

Fuck you, Berrylook. I do not look good in A-line skirts. I know that’s supposed to be a universally flattering cut, but I am too small-boned to have any extra fabric hanging off me. I look like I’m playing dress up in my mother’s clothes.

And I think I just got an ad that somehow pertains to basketball. As I loathe all forms of sportsball, I need to convey to these advertisers that I am more likely to buy ED meds for my non-existent dick than I am to spend money on any sport-related endeavor. 

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20 hours ago, DogMan said:

No indication of what Jira actually does

 

Screenshot_20191126-112533_Chrome.jpg

well you're bound to eventually get there and find out. It's really out of your hands.

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This, this... parade of nonsequiturs:

1317714066_ScreenShot2019-11-26at4_26_00PM.thumb.png.cd01a0c027c2a324998591b413d0f15e.png
No accompanying text except the URL nearly hidden at the bottom to let one know that the ad is from some outfit calling itself 6dollarshirts. But imagine for a moment that you lacked that vital piece of information. What, then, would you make of this array?

1. A symbolic prophecy of the coming of our Robot Overlords?
2. A juvenile attempt at humor
3. A logo bizarrely suggestive of a latex clothier (never get into wearing latex - repairing it is a bear)
4. Either a snarky joke for atheists or a blasphemous provokation aimed at believers - I suppose it depends on the wearer's mood
5. A reference to the film The Fifth Element. For anyone who hasn't seen it, this would be baffling.
6. Annotated bicycle diagram. 

Six squares that have no relation to each other whatsoever. Or do they...? Could this be an Illuminati code?

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Men’s clothing and the ballpark pouch today. I’m a man today it would seem. Yesterday I was decidedly more feminine according to the ads.  

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