I cut myself again.

[MisterMelancholy]

It's my 3rd time now that I've cut myself intentionally. I sliced my wrist at school and a teacher saw it. I did it to try to cope with my feelings of self hatred. I then had to see my school counselor after he saw me do it. It was kinda a bittersweet meeting. I cried a little after I got back to class but noone saw as I didn't weep and only shed 2 tears. I still can't believe I relapsed. I feel guility.

[Will]

What does a school counselor do in those circumstances?   Notify your parents?

[MisterMelancholy]

2 hours ago, Will said:

What does a school counselor do in those circumstances?   Notify your parents?

Yea.

[MiaB]

@MisterMelancholyI am very sorry to hear that you found yourself in this position.  Many of us who are struggling or have struggled with self harm have relapsed and know what this feels like.  I recall from your intro post that you have received various diagnoses in the past.  Are you currently receiving any kind of psychiatric assistance (apart from the school counsellor)?

[Will]

Also, I don't think I'd accept a label such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

Too many labels.  I know that may be a diagnosis for adolescents (??) but I could label myself (or others could label me) as having some sort of disorder such as Avoidant Personality Disorder.  And, I was mislabeled as having schizophrenia at one point which led to the wrong kind of treatment.   A label might fit in the judgment of one therapist, but it just doesn't help I don't think.  You might want to explore some cognitive forms of therapy, in addition to the psychiatric assistance MiaB recommended.

[MisterMelancholy]

11 hours ago, MiaB said:

@MisterMelancholyI am very sorry to hear that you found yourself in this position.  Many of us who are struggling or have struggled with self harm have relapsed and know what this feels like.  I recall from your intro post that you have received various diagnoses in the past.  Are you currently receiving any kind of psychiatric assistance (apart from the school counsellor)?

I see another counselor and a psychiatrist who prescribes meds.

[Iceberg]

7 minutes ago, MisterMelancholy said:

I see another counselor and a psychiatrist who prescribes meds.

Is the pdoc/counselor aware of what happened ? 

[MisterMelancholy]

3 hours ago, Iceberg said:

Is the pdoc/counselor aware of what happened ? 

Me and counselor exchanged numbers a long time ago. I texted her yesterday. No response yet.

Lol sorry guys for being a bit vague about my situation

[Will]

On 10/16/2019 at 8:01 AM, MiaB said:

@MisterMelancholyI am very sorry to hear that you found yourself in this position.  Many of us who are struggling or have struggled with self harm have relapsed and know what this feels like.  I recall from your intro post that you have received various diagnoses in the past.  Are you currently receiving any kind of psychiatric assistance (apart from the school counsellor)?

Good advice. 

I don't DM but I'll mention it here that I  find it amazing you have been doing this since '05, MiaB.  I hope it's helped you as you have helped others.  Another thread swipe?  No, one time comment

 

Edited October 21, 2019 by Will

[Antecedent]

Don't feel guilty for a lapse, it's a lapse/slip, not a relapse. It happens when we give things up, it lets you know you are not over the addiction (or addiction-like thing) yet but as you try and try to stop the lapses get further and further and further apart eventually you realize you are no longer addicted, you have other coping mechanisms, and you will never do it again. Be kind to yourself

Edited December 6, 2019 by Antecedent