Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

Man I don't know if I hate Haldol or just need a higher dose or what but I'm still lactating.

Was taking 7.5mg since last...Tuesday?  A week ago I guess.  Sunday I started going up in energy/mood/behaviour.  By Monday mid day I'd crashed and was depressed.

Monday was the election here and Tuesday morning I posted a manic-rage-filled rant on FB that hopefully I deleted before too much damage but people did see it.  I had to go to an appointment of my mom's Tuesday afternoon so had taken the afternoon off and stayed with her overnight - I ranted at her and then burst into tears.  Deeply ashamed of myself, and so embarrassed.  

I haven't been sleeping normally either - not awful, but not normal.  Last night my sleep was weird and I was so upset I didn't go to work today.  Became mildly suicidal by noon and Toby ended up coming home from work so I wouldn't be by myself.  Then I cycled back up.  Seem pretty even if weird at the moment.  I'm all over the place.

I took 9mg of Haldol last night (I didn't bring my pill cutter for 7.5mg staying at my mom's and have 5mg and 2mg tablets from previous dosing).  Was thinking of trying 10mg tonight.  But I'm not sure this is enough to deal with the mood cycling.  It's a rollercoaster.  And going up won't help the lactating (pdoc says meds that stop lactation not good long term solution).  

When he offered me Haldol he also said I could try Rexulti or Risperdal.  I'm not interested in Risperdal - I lactated on Invega - and Rexulti I dunno.  

I've been on Saphris in the past and did decently on it for a time.  Is it good for mania?  

At least my psychosis is better now.  For now.

I see pdoc on the 30th and GP Friday.  GP won't change my meds but she wanted to see me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks guys.

 @argh I don't think pdoc will put me on something to stop lactating when I could be on a med that doesn't cause it.  

I did some research and rexulti doesn't sound good for mania.  Apparently it failed a few trials.  

@saintalto perhaps I shouldn't stress too much that I continue to lactate.

Saw GP today, she said to continue at 10mg, I see her again tomorrow at which point we'll assess going to 12.5mg.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@argh yes loxapine was causing tremors and not controlling rapid cycling, especially once I dropped the dose to deal with the tremors.  It was no longer a tenable med.  I am pretty sure my pdoc would prefer I not double up AP/AAPs as it increases risk of side effects like tremors etc.  I really do not need TD and I also would rather not be on double meds.  Plus, as I said, he doesn't want me on meds to control lactation as a long-term solution.  He suggested Haldol because of the uncontrolled mania.  He IS a psychopharmacologist so I feel comfortable that he can handle this.  I'd just like some ideas for things to discuss with him as I don't want Rexulti or Risperdal.  

GP said I have way more room to go up on Haldol, pdoc is trying to keep it as low as possible due to side effect risk.

And I'm aware about the potency differences, it's why Haldol doesn't sedate me and loxapine was mildly sedating.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lithium has been unsuccessful for me twice, and pdoc is not convinced by val acid.  I NEED an anti-psychotic and to stop side effects was dropping loxapine too low for that, so starting val acid doesn't help that in any event.  AAPs never worked as well for me as loxapine did which is why I wanted Haldol.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@jarn how did your next GP appointment go? I am sorry things are so rough. I hope you got a further increase in the haldol and that it starts to knock out your symptoms ASAP.

When I briefly tried it, my pdoc had me taking 5 mg, three times a day to start out. But I quit it before I really could find out if it would have been helpful or not.

Anyway, thinking of you. ❤️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

@jarn how did your next GP appointment go? I am sorry things are so rough. I hope you got a further increase in the haldol and that it starts to knock out your symptoms ASAP.

When I briefly tried it, my pdoc had me taking 5 mg, three times a day to start out. But I quit it before I really could find out if it would have been helpful or not.

Anyway, thinking of you. ❤️

Thanks Cheese ❤️  My GP appointment went well, she raised my Haldol to 12.5mg as I'm still having some up periods that she's concerned about.  So hopefully this takes!!!!!!  I appreciate you checking in.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I did my prolactin test yesterday - looked at the results today and it's higher than it was on loxapine.  I mean, not like I'm stable on Haldol, but now I've got to do another med-go-round.  I'm leaning strongly to Saphris.

Like I'm already not depressed enough.  And I can't talk to my mom because she told the whole family I was suicidal 'So we could work through it' like FUCK OFF THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.  We've talked about it and she's apologized and says she'll ask in the future but I still don't trust her at the moment.  

I didn't take Ativan last night and per my watch was up for 5:50hrs and had 0:19hrs deep sleep.  Usually I get 4 hrs deep on weekends.  So that's not good. 

I feel like I'm irreparably broken and will never get any joy back.  Everything I want to do in life is slipping away from me.   

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, jarn said:

Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I did my prolactin test yesterday - looked at the results today and it's higher than it was on loxapine.  I mean, not like I'm stable on Haldol, but now I've got to do another med-go-round.  I'm leaning strongly to Saphris.

Like I'm already not depressed enough.  And I can't talk to my mom because she told the whole family I was suicidal 'So we could work through it' like FUCK OFF THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.  We've talked about it and she's apologized and says she'll ask in the future but I still don't trust her at the moment.  

I didn't take Ativan last night and per my watch was up for 5:50hrs and had 0:19hrs deep sleep.  Usually I get 4 hrs deep on weekends.  So that's not good. 

I feel like I'm irreparably broken and will never get any joy back.  Everything I want to do in life is slipping away from me.   

I’m so sorry jarn. The med go round is awful. It’s an awful game that we must play at times. Ugh. Just ugh.

And what your mom said to everyone was not right IMO. I would be upset about that too. Very upset. I’m sorry that happened too.

Maybe try ativan tonight and see if that helps if you think it’s helpful? It might help you relax and sleep? I know klonopin helps me relax and sleep.

I have hope for you. I think you will get joy back. Thinking of you for sure. ❤️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Cheese.

I went to meet my husband tonight.  I didn't want to leave but as I'd been lying on the couch all day hoped it would perk me up.  Walked by someone smoking and thought to myself 'I should start smoking so I can get cancer and die' which according to Toby is suicidal ideation.  I dunno.  I am pretty depressed.

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

jarn, i've had similar thoughts about cigarettes. smoking isn't self-harm for everyone, but if i had started smoking, it would have been with intention of shortening my life. when put like that, it sounds a lot like ideation. thankfully my depression got better before i could legally buy cigs, but when i'm lower, i still fantasize about it.

i'm sorry to hear that your prolactin levels aren't better. i didn't know haldol could affect lactation. keep us updated as you switch to your new med. it sucks going back on the med-go-round.

you're not broken. it might take a minute to get back to where you were before coming off loxapine, but you've been there, and you can get there again. it's possible. in the mean time, one day at a time. keep moving forward -- there's no other direction to go. sending gentle and hopeful thoughts your way.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Wonderful.Cheese said:

How are things @jarn? Thinking of you. ❤️

Thanks so much Cheese.  I'm exhausted.  I only managed to look at one blog right now.  I'm really very depressed.  Feel a bit better at the immediate moment.

Saw pdoc today.  I am going off of Haldol and back on loxapine to restabilize, and then he wants to consider clozapine.  Which freaks me out.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...