OrganicFarmBitch Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 The unhappiness rules my life sometimes. I feel so down and isolated and out of control. Never let your kids know. They see it, you crying, not being able to get out of bed or just sleeping forever. I suck it up for them, even if it’s to just make a simple dinner. I do try. But then there’s a dark side to me, I’m festering up old wounds and can’t comprehend my emotions. The only thing I can do is cut. I have an old school sharp shaving blade that is magical. It doesn’t even hurt, so I cut so much more than I should. The bright red blood makes me feel relief. But I do it where none will ever see with underwear on. My kids will never see it. I don’t have to look at it, just feel it and know the pain was released. Never let your kids see the ultimate pain you feel on the inside. That’s what tattoos are for, to feel the pain but show off a piece of art. It’s the same difference Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooster Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 I'd actually like to challenge you a bit on the idea that self harm and tattoos are the same difference. Tattoos are socially sanctioned, as you say, piece of art. Self harm is a way to manage distress and make emotions understandable by making them external. Just FYI, in general, we don't talk about methods and tools of self harm here, because we want to support people in finding other ways to manage distress. I'm glad you've found us and I hope you find some helpful resources here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintalto Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 (edited) I grew up with a very unstable mother who just lost it sometimes. But I loved her for who she was and her other more admirable qualities. I prefer her any day to a mother who sucks it all in and pretends everything is okay. It’s okay to show vulnerability. Dealing with it in my mother taught me empathy and understanding. Edited December 16, 2019 by saintalto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicFarmBitch Posted December 16, 2019 Author Share Posted December 16, 2019 I’m so sorry my love, I try to suck it up for my 4 kids and husband. I’m the most empathetic person so I feel everybody’s pain. Most love to you. May this pain go away so we can live this glorious life we were give Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicFarmBitch Posted December 16, 2019 Author Share Posted December 16, 2019 6 hours ago, Wooster said: I'd actually like to challenge you a bit on the idea that self harm and tattoos are the same difference. Tattoos are socially sanctioned, as you say, piece of art. Self harm is a way to manage distress and make emotions understandable by making them external. Just FYI, in general, we don't talk about methods and tools of self harm here, because we want to support people in finding other ways to manage distress. I'm glad you've found us and I hope you find some helpful resources here. I’m not sure if this is answering this column sorry, I’m computer illiterate. But I was just reaching out in pain, I’m bipolar, and sometimes my mania gets out of control. I apologize for my behavior, I totally regret it I was doing so good. Just found myself in a deep dark space and needed to vent. Once again I apologize for doing it here as graphically as I did. I will leave this place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooster Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 It's not necessary to leave this place because you get some feedback about posting on this board. We seem to be a little unusual in terms of mental health support sites around self harm in that a) we talk about self harm, but b) we talk about it in terms of helping each other. You're not in trouble, and it's totally ok to vent here. I just wanted to offer a little guidance in case you hadn't seen the "read this before you post here" thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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