please help me talk about my anxiety?

[~nestling~]

I went to an Understanding Anxiety course today. Only 7 people turned up though, which meant that the trainer focused on individuals a fair bit. I felt like I was back at school and didn't know what to say really a lot of the time.

I did realise that my anxiety is like a secret that I actually struggle to talk about. I know I've had years of therapy, and I did sort of talk about it there, and I understand a lot. But there's definitely this secretiveness about it for me, probably because of the way that I was brought up.

Can you help me talk about my anxiety?
Thanks.

[Gearhead]

It would help if I knew who you most need to talk about it with first. Is your goal to tell your therapist or pdoc? Your family? Your employer?

[~nestling~]

9 hours ago, Gearhead said:

It would help if I knew who you most need to talk about it with first. Is your goal to tell your therapist or pdoc? Your family? Your employer?

Thanks. Well, just in general really, like on courses related to mental health. And to my GP and maybe my parents.

[Gearhead]

Well, I think a good place to start might be with pen and paper. Write down everything you wish you could say. Don’t worry about making the language flow or making it pretty. Just get it all out of your head and put it somewhere you can look at it. That always helps me think through a problem. 

Let it sit for a while. Go back and look at it. See if anything you wrote surprises you. See if you want to clarify anything. See if any of the thoughts seem to go together in a pattern, if one part connects to another in a particular way. 

Then maybe you can decide what you most need to say. 

[~nestling~]

On 12/7/2019 at 1:36 AM, Gearhead said:

Well, I think a good place to start might be with pen and paper. Write down everything you wish you could say. Don’t worry about making the language flow or making it pretty. Just get it all out of your head and put it somewhere you can look at it. That always helps me think through a problem. 

Let it sit for a while. Go back and look at it. See if anything you wrote surprises you. See if you want to clarify anything. See if any of the thoughts seem to go together in a pattern, if one part connects to another in a particular way. 

Then maybe you can decide what you most need to say. 

Thanks so much.

I can approach it like we do writing in writing group....

[Fluent In Silence]

It's difficult to find the words to express something which you probably know is ridiculous. I don't mean anything bad by that. Example: a few years ago I remember having to make a phone call to some government department. I had to psych myself up to do this and wait for my hands to stop shaking before I dialed. It doesn't make much of an anecdote to tell at a dinner party (as if I've ever been to a dinner party) and I don't think I've ever mentioned it to anyone before now. How to explain that? It can be difficult enough to make sense of why you feel so anxious to yourself, let alone explaining it to anyone else. But maybe that's the thing that other people can relate to and understand - the nonsense and bullshit which you get anxious about that doesn't make any real sense.

[~nestling~]

21 hours ago, Fluent In Silence said:

It's difficult to find the words to express something which you probably know is ridiculous. I don't mean anything bad by that. Example: a few years ago I remember having to make a phone call to some government department. I had to psych myself up to do this and wait for my hands to stop shaking before I dialed. It doesn't make much of an anecdote to tell at a dinner party (as if I've ever been to a dinner party) and I don't think I've ever mentioned it to anyone before now. How to explain that? It can be difficult enough to make sense of why you feel so anxious to yourself, let alone explaining it to anyone else. But maybe that's the thing that other people can relate to and understand - the nonsense and bullshit which you get anxious about that doesn't make any real sense.

My anxiety makes total sense in the context of my past...

Fact is though, at the moment I'm anxious about everything again. I realised that it's having come off 3 meds all at once that had a soothing effect on my anxiety.. yes, I'm on the Olanzapine now instead, but it takes time to sink in.