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Starting with new tdoc in Jan, what should I say for goals?

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I asked my current tdoc this at my last appointment.  I said I want someone that will be able to tell me if I seem symptomatic. She didn't seem to think I need to say that, but i am trying to come up with ideas. Tdoc suggested about wanting help with job stresses which is a big issue with me, but I have other things.

This new tdoc specializes in trauma issues.  I don't know how you qualify things as trauma or Trauma, but I had an unusual upbringing and felt there was no adult to turn to. I am in a place now that I could talk about these things, but I am not sure how to bring it up.  My current tdoc pretty much stayed in the present.

Also, I have some relationship issues. My mother and  I have just a superficial, how is the weather?, kind of relationship. She only wants to hear good things.  She is gentle but I never felt any warmth from her. And, my daughter and i are not close either. She used to be mean, insulting to me. Now,. she has been nicer but we don't talk much. (We are both pretty quiet). When I tell her i love her, she shrugs. My son is different. He tells me about his day and that he loves us.

I think I should write things down once i figure it out.

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I guess I would write down the things important to you and then you can sort out the path forward. Probably a good tdoc can help refine or prioritize a list. It sounds like you have good ideas. Also I’ve had tdocs listen to my lists and say, this group of things sound like actually one overall category—and then we can clarify. So maybe just a list of ideas?

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If you need to ask if something qualifies as trauma, you can be sure that there is at least something there, and it’s worth talking about. You could also say that you’d like to understand your relationships with your family better, and find ways to strengthen them. And say that it’s important to you to be reassured that someone is keeping an eye on you and will say it directly if you become symptomatic, because that would make you feel safer (if in fact that’s what you’d feel). 

Always remember: She works for you. If you need to talk about something, it’s her job to listen and help you think.

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I had my first session Th.  I think it went well. She asked me goals and I was squirming trying to think.  It took me until the end of the session to ask if she ever delves into the past if it is affecting me today.  She said that can be a goal.

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