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falling over the border-land

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That's the border of anxiety and psychosis/delusion.

Fact is, I have a tech glitch of some kind [too paranoid to describe it here, though it's probably totally benign, but mind says no] and it's triggering the hell out of me.

I am close to that psychosis-place I was in 3 years ago. I feel raw, frantic and out of sorts. 

A month ago my low dose anti-psychotic was changed, and I feel worse not better, so far anyway.

I can't bear it if I have another breakdown. I can't bear it if the tech glitch is suspicious [though it probably isn't, but.]

I was discharged by the CMHT, so I don't have a psychiatrist any more. 

I don't know what to do.

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Just now, saintalto said:

I would get a referral to a psychiatrist again. Can your GP do it?

They only discharged me just over a month ago, but technically my GP could do that. I see her on the 2nd January - I couldn't get an appointment sooner, and that's when I made it a couple of weeks ago. 

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1 minute ago, saintalto said:

Can you call the office and see if they can’t do a referral for you without having an appointment?

The CMHT or my GPs? If it's the CMHT I reckon they would direct me to the crisis line - which would probably direct me to the CMHT... Trouble is it's *that* time of year isn't it. Bad time of year to have a crisis...

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The GP’s office. I know when I was in New Zealand I had a nurse handle the referral request over the phone once without an appointment. I’m not sure how similar the healthcare is between England and New Zealand. 

Also, how bad does your psychosis get/how bad is it? I have schizoaffective, but I can usually handle lighter psychosis symptoms on my own until an appointment if the appointment is only a week away. If it’s intolerable I suppose I would just call your GP, get ahold of the nurse, and see if maybe you can get a dosage increase of the antipsychotic to tide you over.  

Edited by saintalto
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3 minutes ago, saintalto said:

The GP’s office. I know when I was in New Zealand I had a nurse handle the referral request over the phone once without an appointment. I’m not sure how similar the healthcare is between England and New Zealand. 

That's good that the nurse was so helpful. Over here there is a lot of red tape. It wouldn't be a problem if I hadn't been discharged. If I hadn't been I would have had a follow up around this time to sort things more. 

Mind you, they can't take away this tech 'glitch' of mine. I've taken my meds for tonight now, and I feel a bit calmer for now, but it doesn't last, and I'm still scared to go offline because I'll be totally alone then.

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When it was bad 3 years ago I was obsessively checking and searching re bad signs re tech up until like 3 in the morning, not eating, not sleeping, 24/7 quietly frantically panicked I was being spied on. 

It's not as bad at the moment, but I can see warning signs that are a bit similar. 

The psych nurse at my GPs only works every other Thursday, and I'm on the waiting list for an appointment with her. She's psych liaison so works across lots of practices. 

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Over here, I’ve found that doctors will often do things like change a recently changed dosage back to what it had been without seeing you so long as you have an appointment on the books. If you point out that you only made the change recently, that you feel noticeably worse, and that you’ll be in to discuss it very soon, maybe they would do that for you.

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Thanks @Gearhead. The med is completely new to me. I'm going to see how I am when I get back from my parents after Christmas, and maybe call the single point of access crisis line. Because since I posted this thread, things have got even worse, as yesterday a letter was delivered to my address without my name, with another name, and it was a debt collection letter. I've informed them and they've said they've taken the address off their records. But even so I've been completely panicked. Like when I had the psychosis episode, but this isn't psychosis this is worse, it's real. I hope that that's the end of the contact, but you know what anxiety does. I've been obsessively searching online about people with similar experiences, though I've managed not to do that this evening.

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Oh, hon, that’s just someone’s fuckup entering a name or number into a computer. Like if your address was 1234 Main St., and the person who was supposed to get the letter lived at 12345 Main St. Speaking as someone who has been responsible for trying to keep mailing lists straight, believe me, this shit happens all the time

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