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Dating While on SSDI


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Background: I have Bipolar II, I'm currently in the middle of a 6 year long depression (currently on the feeling-slightly-better end of things), and have been on disability almost this whole time. I haven't been stable enough or well enough to date for the past 2-3 years.

I'm getting back into dating, for now at least, and I'd like to know how other people have handled the sort of topics that come up when you first meet someone - "what do you do," etc. When I've been straightforward - "I haven't been working recently because of illness" for example - I get dropped immediately, which I don't entirely blame people for. When I talk about my old career as if it was something I'm currently doing, however, it feels like lying.

Anyone want to share experiences?

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2 hours ago, 0112358 said:

Anyone want to share experiences?

I'm on SSDI too, but not currently dating...........If someone I don't know very well, were to ask me what I do, I would just tell them I retired early...But that might not be an appropriate response in a dating situation......IMO, it's best to tell the truth from the beginning when dating.

If you just want to be totally honest right up front, and get it out there, if they ask what you do, tell them you are currently not working, and you are bipolar.....You will have to tell them this sooner or later anyway, and being honest from the start might eliminate individuals that won't accept you the way you are.

Easier said than done, I know......I wish you the best.

 

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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3 hours ago, 0112358 said:

Anyone want to share experiences?

I'm not on SSDI but I had the same problem as I haven't been able to keep a job. I chose to be honest up front about having a mental illness as it weeds out unaccepting people right away.

I ended up meeting someone on No Longer Lonely (dating site for people with mental illness). That site isn't as active as sites like OK Cupid and whatnot though so it could be a long shot.

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On 1/6/2020 at 12:50 PM, 0112358 said:

Background: I have Bipolar II, I'm currently in the middle of a 6 year long depression (currently on the feeling-slightly-better end of things), and have been on disability almost this whole time. I haven't been stable enough or well enough to date for the past 2-3 years.

I'm getting back into dating, for now at least, and I'd like to know how other people have handled the sort of topics that come up when you first meet someone - "what do you do," etc. When I've been straightforward - "I haven't been working recently because of illness" for example - I get dropped immediately, which I don't entirely blame people for. When I talk about my old career as if it was something I'm currently doing, however, it feels like lying.

Anyone want to share experiences?

Could you ease into it by telling a more vague "half-truth" at first, like: "I've been out of work due to some medical/ health issues, but plan to get back into my old job as an xyz.... "  This is, if you do plan to go back to work - are you on permanent disability, with no plan to return to work?

Yeah, it won't weed out people that have issues with the mental illness side of things, but its an option and you could gradually tell them specifics once they get to know you and you trust them a bit more?

In the past, I've minimised things so as not to scare people off, like "I had a burnout" or  "I struggle with depression from time to time..." or something? But yeah, eventually the cat will have to come out of the bag, and being forthright would probably save a lot of problems.

 

Edited by Blahblah
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