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Hello-

The psychosis part of my BP1 and also the PTSD started when I found my dad dead. Since then I've been hospitalized 4 out of the 5 times I've been in the nut house.

Do you think that in time, like in time with my grief, the psychosis and PTSD could go away, just like they came? Or do you think that because of the trauma I could be stuck with them the rest of my life? right now I'm just living with the off and on psychosis because AAPs don't like me, and take stuff for the PTSD.

This broke me.

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Loon-A-Tik:

Read the two articles below for some idea of what opinions are about this kind of thing in the research community with regard to bipolar. 

With therapy the PTSD stuff can definately get better.  Meds alone won't do much but help with symptoms. 

http://bipolar.about.com/cs/brainchemistry...9_kindling1.htm

http://bipolar.about.com/cs/brainchemistry...2_kindling2.htm

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Hey Loon,

In my experience (ok, 6 years, not much).

The PTSD stuff can be manageable at best.  Never seems to go away for most people.

Psychosis generally (as others have said) is usually there but can be nipped in the bud, b/c people learn to see it coming.

Manageable.

You *can* manage.

And who knows.  For you, might go away.

Best of luck hon.

--ncc--

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Mine come and go, but are never gone for long.  I see things at least once per week.  Some things obviously don't fit, so I know it is just me.  (i.e. I saw a kangaroo run across the street a few weeks back.  I am in Texas, so not possible.)  Other times, my husband has to tell me it isn't real.  And still other times, I am by myself so I have no idea if I am seeing something real or imagined.

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Can't people have psychotic episodes following something triggering like the death of a loved one? I'm sure I read it somewhere. I don't know how long your psychosis has been on going, I'm probably talking a load of shit but thought I'd mention it.

Whatever the answer, keep your chin up. Psychosis is shit (mania's bad enough but that lovely twist of reality you get with psychosis? it's just the fricking icing on the cake of craziness) and I can understand you being desperate for it to be gone.

And yeah, I get the crazy 'did I just see something real or was it imagined? Is someone really talking to me or is it the voices?' thing loads. This week I've been seeing people everywhere. In strange places where they don't fit. God knows what's real anymore.

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I believe, and hope with all my heart, that this didn't open up something that can't be closed. I know the racoons and other creatures I see running around aren't really there, and the songs I hear in my quiet car aren't real, and the Voices (no matter how helpful sometimes) aren't real.

Maybe this opened a part of my disorder that was dormant. Maybe it started something worse, triggered it, like some people get triggered to have this disorder in the first place.

For everyone- I feel bad that you have this issue too. The rapic cycling, psychotic symptoms, BP at all- it is all CRAZY and no wonder we end up in the nut house from time to time.

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